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We know that Christ asked us to FORGIVE ALL MEN. But I have seen examples where people don't feel is the appropiate time to 'forgive' someone...what do you think? is there such a thing as an "Apropiate time to forgive'?.

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[quote]is there such a thing as an "Apropiate time to forgive'?.[/quote]
Yes, I believe so. Here is a very basic way to explain. If two kids were fighting and an adult came and broke it up, and the adult instructed each kid to apologise then the kids would most likely do it with a grudge while thinking 'I want to kick his butt!'

However, if time passes and the kids realize their error or the lfriendship they had before, then it would entice true forgiveness. Forgiveness comes from the heart and in the heat of conflict it may be very hard to forgive. The only person I know that was able to do this on numerous occassions was Jesus Christ.

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JB, I agree with your example in that this is how we forgive, but I don't know if that makes it the appropriate time to forgive.  

We are human and need to come to terms with whatever has occurred before we can truly forgive.  This is true of the example you provided as well.  In these cases I believe the Heavenly Father understands our humaness and forgives us for it.  However, to be able to say "it is not time yet to forgive."  I don't think this is acceptable.  I believe we are expected to forgive just as the Savior did.  He didn't say we could wait until we felt like doing it or until we found it was the right time to forgive.

So, while I believe it is o.k. to work through an issue in order to come to forgiveness.  I don't believe it is o.k. to use this process as an excuse for not forgiving immediately by saying that the time just isn't right yet as LDS's question seems to inquire.

An example from my own life.  My mother did something a few years ago that made me extremely angry.  I knew I had to forgive her, but I was hurt and very upset.  I didn't want to forgive her just yet.  That doesn't mean it wasn't the right time to do it, but I wasn't ready yet.  I wouldn't even pray for help in forgiving her because I knew I would then need to make an effort to forgive, and I didn't want to yet.  I wanted to stay angry for a while.  It took me about two weeks to finally get around to praying for help with the issue, and when I did, I was able to forgive and move on.  I believe I was wrong for not asking for assistance immediately with the situation, but I do also believe I am forgiven for it because I am human and needed some time to work through my emotions.  

So, I think the right time to forgive is always immediately.  I just don't think, we as imperfect humans, are always ready to do it immediately.

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This is a really difficult question for me.  There are some things that can immediately be forgiven, no question.

But what about an injustice that spans years?  As in the case of domestic abuse?  That's really not a thing that someone can just "get over" in a matter of days or weeks.  Someone I know is experiencing a rather bitter divorce and is discovering actions taken by her spouse over the entire length of their 20+ year marriage that will affect her and her children for years to come -- maybe have life-long effects on her kids.  Every week there is some new nugget of indiscretion, deceit, even fraud.  The sense of betrayal and grief and anger just deepens as they go along.  How she will get past all of that and forgive him will be one of the miracles of the Atonement, in my opinion.  She is one very strong person.

Now, whether there is a set timetable for forgiveness, I don't think there can be.  As JB pointed out, you can't have true forgiveness in the "heat of the moment."  But when you've had time to ponder and pray, forgiveness comes.
[quote]I have seen examples where people don't feel is the appropiate time to 'forgive' someone[/quote]  The key word here is "people" -- whether or not they think it's time.  it's not up to us to decide when, but to seek forgiveness in the Lord's time and with his help.  The Atonement is to help us to find forgiveness for others, too, and not just for our own sins.

IMO
Roz

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FarSeer, I understand exactly what you are talking about.  I have recently gone through something similar.  Not abusive, but some very inappropriate behavior between my ex and a member of my family.  If we don't forgive, we end up bitter.  I don't believe we can be happy and bitter at the same time.

I know that the Spirit worked on me considerably to forgive my family member.  When I followed the guidance I was receiving, I was able to put aside my anger.  I am not sure if I have totally forgiven this family member,but I know my anger is gone.  When I let go of the anger, I saw a dramatic increase in my happiness with life and my place in it almost immediately.

Also, remember that forgiving doesn't necessarily mean getting over it .  I don't think I will ever get over what has happened in my life these past 6 months.  I am a different person now because of it.  Those changes are now a part of who I am, but I need to let go of the anger and bitterness and move on with my life.  I think that is why it is so important for us to forgive.  For what it does for us, not what it offers the other person.

Just my thoughts.  I don't mean to sound like I don't have compassion for your friend or others suffering, I do.  I just have recently learned that we hurt ourselves more than the offending party, when we refuse to forgive.  I don't believe forgive means forget.  There is another thread about this somewhere on the board, I think.  (about forgiving and forgetting)

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[quote] So, while I believe it is o.k. to work through an issue in order to come to forgiveness.  I don't believe it is o.k. to use this process as an excuse for not forgiving immediately by saying that the time just isn't right yet as LDS's question seems to inquire. [/quote]
Where does it say that forgiveness has to be immediate? Restitution is often not immediate, repentance is often not immediate, their is always a process of time involved. When we have reached that point where we hold no grudge then that is the appropriate time, even if it takes time it cannot be called forgiveness until we have detached ourselves from our anger. Abuse as you mentioned is often a case for discussion since the person may not be in a state of mind to even comprehend or entertain forgiveness. Do not misunderstand, I am not saying that we should not forgive right away, I am just saying we are human and I known of no man that is able to 'forgive' to that extent (refering to serious situations and not a simple thing that can be shruged off easily).

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As I understand the Lord commanded us to forgive each other as we would ourselves and He would forgive us as we forgive others.  I think that understanding that forgiveness takes time and pondering and learning is part of forgiving others.  It is easier to forgive if we understand how to forgive; the process involved is the same no matter the strength of the issue or affront.   It may take different amounts of time to go through the process.   This is part of the understanding.   If we expect immediate forgiveness we had better be able and ready to give such.  Our expectations of forgivenss from others  and to others is tied to our own forgiveness from Heavenly Father.
granny7

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[quote]Where does it say that forgiveness has to be immediate? Restitution is often not immediate, repentance is often not immediate, their is always a process of time involved. [/quote]

I agree that it takes time because as you said we are human, but I don't think it necessarily means that we can say "the time to forgive hasn't yet arrived."  I think we would be better to say, "I am working on forgiving, but I haven't yet reached a point where I am ready to forgive."  I say this because I think forgiveness by the Lord happens immediately upon our repenting.  The key is repenting.  This leads me to question, if my offender hasn't repented and isn't sorry, do I still need to forgive them?  They aren't forgiven by the Lord if they haven't repented.  Are they?

[quote]As I understand the Lord commanded us to forgive each other as we would ourselves and He would forgive us as we forgive others. [/quote]

One more reason why I wonder if we still are expected to forgive if someone hasn't repented?  Of course, I believe if we don't forgive we remain bitter, so I think we are always better off to forgive, if we understand that forgiving doesn't necessarily mean allowing that person a place in our lives again where they can continue to hurt us.

My biggest concern is that some people use as an excuse the need to heal to remain bitter.  These people are never going to be healed or be able to forgive until they begin to work with the Lord's help at letting go of the anger.  At least that has been my experience.

I think the question is about is there a correct time to forgive and not about how forgiveness works with us as human as we are and not perfect?  That is why, although I agree with what everyone has said about how we as people need to work through issues to arrive at forgiveness, I don't necessarily agree that this means there is a right time and a not right time in the Lord's eyes for us to forgive.