I am worried about my sister. Her past two boyfriends were very controlling. Although she talks about how their behavior bothered her, she does nothing to stop hanging out with these types of guys. Actually, she is considering getting back together with the previous boyfriend. Do you have any thoughts on why my sister might choose these types even though she says it bothers her?
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Do you have any thoughts on why my sister might choose these types even though she says it bothers her |
I agree with you LDS people's thoughts and insights are so often detached from their behavior. This constantly amazes me. The guys' behaviors are most likely predictable. Yet even knowing that the situation will be dysfunctional doesn't always prevent it right?.... My dad is not a controlling person tho.. The only thing i could think of that is bothering her is my mom not being here with us when we need her the most.. Why she doesn't love herself and seek out men like this.. ( i have no idea). Women in our culture often have a tendency to attach themselves to men they perceive as powerful. This is an attempt to empower themselves rather than tuning into their own feelings or internal sense of individual power. My sister never had an important male make her feel repeatedly powerless as a result of his aggression? She may naturally seek out someone like that in order to solve those old problems. I have tried to encourage her to listen to and find her own internal resource. Only then will she find a gratifying relationship with someone who is suitable for her and available in a real way but, she never listen ....
Even though your dad may not be a controling one, obviously your sister doesn't have a strong fatherhood model that can help her. Am I right?, I remember for instance you writing a poem about your dad?. Sometimes dads are not around when we need them the most, also maybe your sister is not handling good the fact your parents are divorced, it's tough for some people. Even though she doesn't say so, she needs her dad! I don't think it's so much the fact your mom is away (yes can be one reason) but I think it's more the fact that she feels that your dad is not fulfilling her own view on how a father should be. So if she doesn't have a role model to follow (in this case a father) then she will get involved in relationships like that, relationships that are destructive and that it will bring her a lot of pain. But if she doesn't listen, there is not much what you can do, but to lover her and keep counsel her for good. Never give up in a loved one . Depending how is the relationship with your dad, you can speak with him and share your feelings.
My sister just recently came very close to having a nervous breakdown, and I am really worried. I have been praying, but I was just wondering if you could get some more Christians to pray for me? Maybe you could have some Christians e-mail me because I really need some Christian friends now.
Every time I get on advice chat lines, these people just start telling me how praying won't do any good, and that God is fake. It is really discouraging me. - Worried
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Every time I get on advice chat lines, these people just start telling me how praying won't do any good, and that God is fake. It is really discouraging me. - Worried |