Why does my sister keep choosing this type of guy?

Why Sister Choosing Type Guy - Culture, Family, Travel, Consumer Reviews - Posted: 14th Mar, 2003 - 10:18am

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Post Date: 12th Mar, 2003 - 2:31pm / Post ID: #

Why does my sister keep choosing this type of guy?
A Friend

Why does my sister keep choosing this type of guy?

I am worried about my sister. Her past two boyfriends were very controlling. Although she talks about how their behavior bothered her, she does nothing to stop hanging out with these types of guys. Actually, she is considering getting back together with the previous boyfriend. Do you have any thoughts on why my sister might choose these types even though she says it bothers her?

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12th Mar, 2003 - 2:45pm / Post ID: #

guy type choosing sister my Why

QUOTE
Do you have any thoughts on why my sister might choose these types even though she says it bothers her


Yes, definetly. This is a psychological condition. She doesn't really 'look' for those kind of guys. I cannot tell you much because I don't know her personally but for what I studied in psychology and also examples of my own friends, this is a problem related to self-esteem and some kind of abuse she's receiving or received in the past (excluding her boyfriends) Somebody in her life besides her boyfriends must be too controlling even though she doesn't seem so. Is your dad like that?. I have met beautiful girls who you will think they're so self-confidence but inside they're all the opposite. This is a problem of self-esteem, how much she loves herself and why she thinks that guys like that is what she 'deserves' that's what actually in the deepest of her is feeling. First, I would recommend to see if there is anybody else besides the boyfriends who have been controlling her a lot, second thing I would do is what's she really missing in her life, why she doesn't love herself so much (even if she says she does or you think she does) Most abused people everytime they have to choose a relationship they will always choose someone who is jealous, controling, and that they treat them bad. Is not surprising to me but I'm sure it us surprising to you. To be able to help more, I will have to know if your dad or mom or somebody was controlling to her or abusive in any way, that's the hardest part because most people don't actually go and tell everybody they have been abused they keep it secret but at least you can find out why she doesn't love herself as much.



Post Date: 13th Mar, 2003 - 3:02am / Post ID: #

Why does my sister keep choosing this type of guy?
A Friend

Why does my sister keep choosing this type of guy? Reviews Consumer & Travel Family Culture

I agree with you LDS people's thoughts and insights are so often detached from their behavior. This constantly amazes me. The guys' behaviors are most likely predictable. Yet even knowing that the situation will be dysfunctional doesn't always prevent it right?....  My dad is not a controlling person tho.. The only thing i could think of that is bothering her is my mom not being here with us when we need her the most.. Why she doesn't love herself and seek out  men like this.. ( i have no idea). Women in our culture often have a tendency to attach themselves to men they perceive as powerful. This is an attempt to empower themselves rather than tuning into their own feelings or internal sense of individual power. My sister never had an important male make her feel repeatedly powerless as a result of his aggression? She may naturally seek out someone like that in order to solve those old problems. I have tried to encourage her to listen to and find her own internal resource. Only then will she find a gratifying relationship with someone who is suitable for her and available in a real way but, she never listen ....

13th Mar, 2003 - 2:34pm / Post ID: #

guy type choosing sister my Why

Even though your dad may not be a controling one, obviously your sister doesn't have a strong fatherhood model that can help her. Am I right?, I remember for instance you writing  a poem about your dad?. Sometimes dads are not around when we need them the most, also maybe your sister is not handling good the fact your parents are divorced, it's tough for some people. Even though she doesn't say so, she needs her dad! I don't think it's so much the fact your mom is away (yes can be one reason) but I think it's more the fact that she feels that your dad is not fulfilling her own view on how a father should be. So if she doesn't have a role model to follow (in this case a father) then she will get involved in relationships like that, relationships that are destructive and that it will bring her a lot of pain. But if she doesn't listen, there is not much what you can do, but to lover her and keep counsel her for good. Never give up in a loved one smile.gif. Depending how is the relationship with your dad, you can speak with him and share your feelings.



Post Date: 14th Mar, 2003 - 2:09am / Post ID: #

Why does my sister keep choosing this type of guy?
A Friend

guy type choosing sister my Why

My sister just recently came very close to having a nervous breakdown, and I am really worried. I have been praying, but I was just wondering if you could get some more Christians to pray for me? Maybe you could have some Christians e-mail me because I really need some Christian friends now.

Every time I get on advice chat lines, these people just start telling me how praying won't do any good, and that God is fake. It is really discouraging me. - Worried

14th Mar, 2003 - 10:18am / Post ID: #

Why does my sister keep choosing this type of guy?

QUOTE
Every time I get on advice chat lines, these people just start telling me how praying won't do any good, and that God is fake. It is really discouraging me. - Worried

That is why we should not look for advice in chat lines. smile.gif

However, prayer is real, just as God is real. Here is a simple way to do it....

{First find a very quiet place, have faith, don't laugh, don't have the tv on, etc. Kneel and be sincere)

Address your Heavenly Father and talk to him as you would your own mortal father,

Say what you have in your heart, be willing to make an exchange, in othr words, say what you will do for Him in exchange for Him helping you,

Make sure to end in the name of Jesus Christ, through him are your prayers heard.

[offtopic]Did you click the link called, 'My Soul' in the menu above? That is a site I maintain and run and it has lots of special thoughts that I am sure you will like.[/offtopic]



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