Sometimes, talking to teenagers can be a little tricky because there are many factors at play. I wrote a few tips that can help you communicate better with your teen. Ref.
How To Talk With Your Teenager Without Going Bananas! - Creamy Avocado
How To Communicate Better With Your Teenager (Hover)
Having raised five kids and made it through the teenage years I can tell you it is rough but if you stay consistent in you rules and beliefs you will get through it all. It was not as bad to me as many people try to make it sound. Some of the advice in here can help you very much.
KN,
I agree with everything you say. I have two down and one to go. Staying consistent is the single biggest thing to get through these years. If you make a rule, enforce it. Don't waver when they push… and they will push. And be consistent from one child to the next. Otherwise you'll invite feelings of jealousy, entitlement, and resentment towards you and among the kids.
Yeah, I try to be as evenhanded with each of my kids as I can be. Now, I tend to be just a bit more protective of my girls and bit more demanding in some things of my boy, but I talk to them about that and why that is. They understand the why of that and as far as expectations go, I expect the same manners, respect, understanding, and desire from all of them.