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Teaching Children About Failure

Seeing the benefits of failure shapes kids' beliefs about intelligence

Parents' beliefs about whether failure is a good or a bad thing guide how their children think about their own intelligence, according to new research. The research indicates that it's parents' responses to failure, and not their beliefs about intelligence, that are ultimately absorbed by their kids. Ref. Source 2x.

Failure Children Teaching

Growing up, I was significantly older than my siblings. As such I took it upon myself to show them that things don't come easily. Just because they are younger or cute doesn't mean they get their way. My step-dad (I was his only child) had a similar attitude and wouldn't let me succeed or show me how, without me trying first and failing (Or not) on my own. If I could show that I genuinely put effort into something (Or if it was dangerous to fail at), then he would help or show me how to do it. For instance something as simple as playing tic-tac-toe, I would beat my siblings every time, and gladly explain to them how to win, but then use a strategy that beats the one I just explained. They would get so mad at me, and my step-mom and dad would yell at me to let them win, but I flatly refused because I knew that they were being too pampered in school and such.

Most schools have an award for everything, no matter how good (Or bad) you do at something, you get a participation award. A lot of schools have done away with 1st place, instead adopting an 'everyone is a winner' kind of attitude, but the struggle and failure are good for kids. Life isn't fair, and unless you work hard (And possibly fail) you won't achieve your goals or be very successful. I agree with this article wholeheartedly, that children must be allowed to fail and then analyze how to do it better next time.