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Surrogate Mothers - Page 2

Call me selfish if you all want but I will never be a surrogate mother, knowing what is like to be a mother, knowing what is like to carry a baby for 9 months, I don't think I will be able to handle it, I will want the baby for myself! I will feel its my child!, plus if I would be doing it for my sister for example, what she will tell the child? your auntie is also your mom? --> sounds crazy to me people. Nine months is a long time to bond with your baby that is growing inside of you, and we have feelings, I believe we are here for a purpose and I don't think the purpose of us here is being some kind of 'machine' that makes babies for other people, sorry if it sounds bad, but that's how I feel about it.

Mothers Surrogate

i know that its easier said than done. I imagine it would be a quite difficult road to follow...so im not professing that i could manage without breaking a sweat. But at the same time, i think it would be harder for my sister to live with the situation, since she would have to live with the fact that i am her child's "mother" in a sense.
I dont know...it would be really hard for me to see my sister make decisions that i would not agree with (not to mention that i can actually see it happening!!)...but it will take loads of self restraint...and committment to the cause. Plus i guess i can speak relatively confident about the situation, since i know the relationship i have with my sister...as she and i have grown up respecting the other's point of view. But..as i said before, im not claiming that it would be at all simple.

no way!!...ill just be asking for trouble!!

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In something so strong as a mother's love for her child... years of external bonding means very little when it comes to something that came from internal and is actually part of you. I have seen from experience where seemingly strong relationships fall apart based on small decisions let alone one as big as this.

Page 2 Mothers Surrogate

well as i said before, i never claimed it would be even close to easy. But it would be hard for me to deal with my sister not being able to have children..let alone not help her through it any way i can. Do you have any idea how it affects a woman when she isnt able to conceive?? I have seen two cases of this...both my mother's friends. Both felt as if they were a disappointment to their husbands and family. One of the women was made to feel this way by her in-laws...who referred to her as "barren" and "worthless". They both go through many stages of depression up to this day. Many women spend their lives dreaming about a "perfect" life with a husband and children. Do you know the pressure women feel??...they first have to be able to bear children...then the children must be healthy, or else the mother is blamed...and furthermore, if their child grows up wayward...who bears the burden and responsibility??...the mother!!

i would much prefer to share the MANY difficulties of being a surrogate mother with my sister, rather than leave her alone to deal with her inability to conceive.

Mothers Surrogate

I am not a woman, so it is impossible for me to feel the EXACTNESS of their situation, but it is easy to empathize cause some men are also impotent and cannot make pregnant a very fertile woman, so it works both ways. By the way, as a father, husband and minister of religion in certain aspects I have been VERY involved in these situations hence I can share my view point and propose situations quite readily. Often I have found that the strong desire to have a baby overwhelms logical thinking or even the thought of future consequences. I often wonder why adoption is always seen as a burden.

Offtopic but, Did you find out how to get an Email when a topic is updated? If not, just check the FAQ Board. Also, why is your pic so dark? Do you need help making it brighter?

Surrogate Mothers

i agree with you on this one JB

well i think some women AND men cant deal with the fact that their baby wont resemble anyone in their family. It may sound trivial, but those things are important when having children. Also, being a part of the birth process is also important...which is why most couples would prefer to go through the process with the birth parents during the pregnancy, rather than adopting a 2month or 2yr old child. It creates a bond for the adopted parents, which they would not be able to experience by going through foster care.

Offtopic but, i didnt check out FAQ yet, but i will. And do you think my pic is too dark?..i changed it to black and white, but it doesnt appear too dark to me

Surrogate Mothers - Page 2

Good points, but I hope neither of us have to go through such decisions, indeed I would rather adopt that go through such a 'risk' with a 'third party'.

Offtopic but, Cool, I also asked you something on your first post here. About your pic... if the idea is to not see your features, then it is ok, but if not then I think it needs more contrast, but we can continue that on the link I just gave you.

Surrogate Mothers Politics Business Civil & History - Page 2

There are cases where the surrogate mother actually receives an already fertilized egg from the natural parents so that the surrogate mother really is just "incubating" the baby, rather than actually sharing genetics. I think that's "in vitro" fertilization, where the egg is fertilized in the lab and then presented into the womb. I could do this, I think, for a loved one, because the child would not me mine. I would hesitate more if I were to carry a child of my "own blood." From the experiences I've had with pregnancy and birth, that immediate bond is just so strong -- how can you give up that child?

Adoption is harder for most people because, with a natural child, there is (usually) a natural love-bond that is formed during the pregnancy and birth; with adoption, that natural bond is not there. We can develop a strong love for adopted children, obviously; but that natural, automatic bond isn't there, and it takes time to develop that strong kind of love for another child. I think it's like falling in love -- in every relationship, there is one who loves more than the other and I think it's true also in adoptive parents.

In my opinion, of course.
Roz