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Advice Evil Overlords - Jokes, Humor, Forum Games - Posted: 30th Mar, 2005 - 3:23am
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Advice For Evil Overlords
This is absolutely GREAT! We all watch sci-fi movies and cartoons and cringe when the evil overlord pulls some obvious stunt. This is especially visible in all the James Bond movies.
Here are some words of advice for any evil overlords (or wannabes) out there, from a prospective Evil Overlord:
https://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
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| 1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No." 8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such. 10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. |
There are 100 items on the list. Read them all!
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Overlords Evil Advice
Great list, Nighthawk! I got a real chuckle out of this one, because it always gives the good guys a second chance:
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| I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation |
TOPIC: Advice For Evil Overlords