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Mormon Gossip - How to stop Gossip in Church - Page 3

Talks from the pulpit generally don't do much to change behavior in a ward or stake, particularly for something that many people view ambiguously, such as gossip. From a leadership perspective, there is constant tension between adminstering and ministering. Administering is easier because it it makes the leader feel good - but it ends at the pulpit. You observe that there may be a problem, you discuss it in a meeting, make a view assignments, and have a feel-good talk in Sacrament. No change occurs.

Ministering is harder. You recognize first where you need to repent and change your behavior. You refuse to participate or spread gossip and where ever you can you show a good example, inspire trust but not betraying confidences, and love. If necessary, you go to those you have wronged and ask their forgiveness. You bury the hatchet with those who you might have a quarrel with and you pray and fast for the gift of charity. If you are in a leadership position where it is appropriate, you teach, confront where appropriate (only as directed by the Spirit), and bring people together.

For leaders, I also strongly recommend that you get out of your office and into the homes of the members. This is particularly true if the gossip you confront is aimed at you. There is something disarming and humbling about leaving your turf. It invites the Spirit. This isn't appropriate in all cases, some things should be dealt with in the office. But you will find out more in the homes of the members than you every will in your office.

Church Gossip stop to - Gossip Mormon

I saw an interesting scripture today at church:

"If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words: then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth..." (Isaiah 58: 13-14)

I think being at church and the sabbath day in general is something we need to prepare for just like the temple, we should leave our wordly thoughts or judgements alone. Church on a sabbath day is a place of revelation we should be seeking the Lord's Spirit for guidance to see others as the Saviour would see us. The above promise is great because it is a covenant - once we covenant with God that we will not seek our own ways on the sabbath and hold to this, then He will enlighten and inspire us that we might inspire (or be inspired by) our brother/sister - and with diligent practice of this, may no longer consider worldly judgement as appropriate.

Message Edited! JB@Trinidad: Incomplete use of quote tag

Mormon Gossip - How to stop Gossip in Church Studies Doctrine Mormon

If I were the bishop, and I can hardly imagine the responsibility and demands of that calling, I think I would use this as an opportunity to teach without actually saying anything about there being a problem. I totally agree with tenahoff that people need to be taught just how painful gossip may be for some. I would ask for the ward's help in the endeavor to have more Christ-like communication in the ward. I would say something like this:

"Tips for Christ-like communication:
1) Before saying anything to anyone, ask yourself three things: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
2) Be kind to unkind people. They probably need it the most.
3) Make promises carefully and keep them faithfully.
4) Have a forgiving view of people and their behavior. Most people are doing the best they can.
5) When you talk about someone in his or her absence, don't say anything you would not be willing to say in their presence.
6) Never miss the opportunity to compliment or to say something encouraging to or about someone.
7) If someone criticizes you, consider whether there is any truth to what is said. If so, make changes. If there is not truth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no one will believe the negative remarks.
8) Cultivate your sense of humor. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Lyn Austin, Feb. 1990 Ensign"

I would ask the ward to try to always find the good in others, and if someone tries to gossip about someone to you, say something kind back. I think that is the best way to let someone know that you will not gossip. Thanks for listening.

Page 3 Church Gossip stop to - Gossip Mormon

If someone is willing to Gossip with you then it is likely they will also be willing to Gossip about you, so turn away the gossiper.