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Mormons & Same Sex Attraction

I was looking for a thread that specifically discusses those members who struggle with same sex attraction but I could not find any, if there is one, please let me know. Thanks.

In the Ensign September 2004 there is an article called 'Compassion for those who struggle', the name of the author has been withheld. It talks about the challenges that members of the Church who have homosexual tendencies go through.
There is one part of the article that called my attention:

"Some assume that all those with same-sex tendencies are morally depraved. Yet, as I often have to remind myself, because of my repentance and my earnest efforts to live the commandments I am as worthy as other righteous Latter-day Saints to serve in callings and in the temple, to take the sacrament, to give talks and lessons in church, and to hold the priesthood. As President Boyd K. Packer, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has said, "If you do not act on temptations, you need feel no guilt."

I thought we are supposed to feel bad when we have unproper thoughts, after all, Jesus Christ said that if a man looks after a woman to lust her, he has committed adultery in his heart. So, if I am not reading between lines or my limited english is failing me, then I can have thoughts about sleeping with someone else besides my husband for instance and I have no need to feel guilty about unless I actually comitted the act?. What are your thoughts?.

Attraction Sex and Mormons

Concerning thoughts, it isn't whether or not we have the thoughts, it is whether or not we entertain them. So, if we have unworthy thoughts, such as an instant sexual attraction to someone other than our spouse, and we immediately shut the door on it, we are not guilty. However, if we invite it in, show it the comfortable chair in the living room of our mind, and fix it a nice cocktail before sitting down for a long chat, then we are guilty.

Sometimes, I think, although the effort to close the door on the thought or temptation may be extremely difficult, or if we find that we have entertained the thought and then it takes some time to throw it out of the house, we become clean or worthy anyway, because we are building strength and integrity through the effort.

Does that make sense?

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Well my point based on President Packer's statement is not whether we are guilty or not but whether we should feel guilty or not.
In my opinion when we have bad thoughts even if it is an instant or a whole entertain thought we should feel guilty and bad about it. This feeling is a 'good' thing because it shows us that we are not 'pass feeling' and that we can have the strenghth to overcome these thoughts. But President Packer is saying that if we do not act upon those temptations then there is no need to feel guilty about it. It concerns me. Why? because if I'm having bad thoughts and I'm reading that then I would think there is actually nothing wrong with those thoughts and if I felt guilty in the past there is no reason to feel guilty now and this may lead to become 'pass feeling' or even worst, act upon those same temptations, since sometimes guilt is what stops someone from commiting the sin.

Attraction Sex and Mormons

I think that if we feel guilty, when we are not guilty, then we are judging ourselves, with an unrighteous standard. If the Lord has defined for us that it is NOT wrong to be tempted, but IS wrong to entertain the temptation without fighting it, but then we DO feel guilty for the temptation, then we are going against the Lord Himself.

(Nice run-on sentence there, huh. I couldn't express it any other way. )

All right now. We KNOW that we are here in mortality to see how we deal with temptation. We also know that we are only responsible for what we actually choose to do. So, the flash of temptation, which either doesn't come from ourselves, or comes from our undeniable human nature, can not be cause for guilt. If we welcome the temptation and savor it before discarding it, then there IS good reason for us to feel guilty.

Carefully read what you wrote:
Jesus Christ said that if a man looks after a woman to lust her, he has committed adultery in his heart.

Jesus appears to me to be talking about the man who purposely looks at a woman to lust after her, not the man who looks at her and says to himself, "Wow, there must be a long line of car accidents following her!", but then put it out of his mind and continues to focus on the real things in life.

So, I think that it is not unrighteous to notice that Angelina Jolie looks incredible as Lara Croft, but to watch the movies over and over just to look at her figure is. I really believe this exact situation applies to homosexuality and other addictions.

I will apply it directly to one of my major addictions. Some days I really miss drinking. There have been times when I have stood in a store, staring at a bottle of brandy, wishing that there was some way I could justify buying it. At times, I just get an urge to knock back some Irish whiskey or a glass of rum. However, when I get those thoughts and urges, I fight them. It isn't always fast or easy to get them out of my mind, but eventually they are gone. Rather than feel guilty about having the thoughts and urges, I feel grateful that I CAN resist them.

I would then extend the same thought into homosexuality and, by extension, into other forms of sexual addiction and compulsion. If a person has become addicted to, or has, at some time developed a compulsion regarding a sexual matter such as homosexuality, but is continually fighting to break free of that bondage, then they certainly should not feel guilty for having the compulsion rear its ugly head. How they deal with the compulsion or addiction is the only thing that they should worry about. Do they welcome it, make a private room for it in their mind and enjoy the fantasies related to it? If so, then they probably should feel guilty. If, however, they call in all the reinforcements at their disposal (good books, good music, scriptures, prayer, hobbies, studies, etc.) to drive the compulsion away, then they should be pleased and grateful that God has provided these tools.

I think it is common for us, addicts, to feel guilt about the thoughts, compulsions, and temptations that we suffer. In my experience, I have found that unwarranted guilt is a huge problem. Unwarranted guilt can easily lead into the horrible cycle that brings addicts back into their destructive behaviour. Especially when it is over something that we really can't control, such as receiving temptations.

Finally, let me put it another way. Perhaps you don't want your son to use a bad word. He hears it in the playground, comes in, and uses it in your presence. You explain to him that it is a bad word, and is unacceptable in your home. He never uses it again. But he keeps hearing that word from his playmates. Are you going to blame HIM for being exposed to the word? Or are you only going to hold him responsible for what he does with it?

Attraction Sex and Mormons

I think what Nighthawk said is true. We should not feel guilty unless we entertain bad thoughts. Also, taking the quote again from President Packer: "If you do not act on temptations, you need feel no guilt." This is also true. But what does it mean to act on temptation? Does it mean the person has to actually commit the sin he or she is being tempted with? I don't think so. To entertain homosexual thoughs for example is acting on temptation.

Mormons & Same Sex Attraction

Regarding same sex attraction, there is currently a movie out called "Latter Days" about an LDS missionary who gets seduced by a West Hollywood homosexual (on a bet). I haven't actually seen the movie, but I understand it's available for rent at Blockbuster stores and for sale on Amazon.com (where there are over 100 reviews of the movie), and it's (obviously) highly controversial.

It's actually dubbed as a "romantic comedy"! The writer/director is an ex-mormon homosexual, who has not been through the excommunication process.

This is distressing on a number of different levels.

Roz

Mormons & Sex Attraction

I just posted a thread about it since you brought it (the movie) up FarSeer:
https://www.bordeglobal.com/foruminv/index....showtopic=10883

I would also like to mention that this is a bigger problem than most members think. A problem, that if not 'secured' can lead to the downfall of other members and yes, I have witnessed this.

Mormons & Sex Attraction Mormon Doctrine Studies

I have also seen this happen. It is not a nice thing to see.

A very close friend of mine from high school "came out" after a few years of marriage. He had two wonderful children.

He got divorced, but continued to attend church with his ex-wife and children. The ex-wife was (apparently) very understanding. However, this family was still broken up by the situation.

He wrote a letter to all of his family and friends, explaining how he wasn't responsible for the situation, as this was the way that God had made him.

It was very sad to see how things fell apart so badly for him.