As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we understand that we are perceived by some to be "a peculiar people" (1 Pet. 2:9). Our doctrines and beliefs are important to us. We embrace them and cherish them. I am not suggesting for a moment that we shouldn't. On the contrary, our peculiarity and the uniqueness of the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ are indispensable elements in offering the people of the world a clear choice. Neither am I suggesting that we should associate in any relationship that would place us or our families at spiritual risk. We must understand, however, that not everyone is going to accept our doctrine of the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
That is our doctrine-a doctrine of inclusion. That is what we believe. That is what we have been taught. Of all people on this earth, we should be the most loving, the kindest, and the most tolerant because of that doctrine.
May I suggest three simple things we can do to avoid making others in our neighborhoods feel excluded?
First, get to know your neighbors. Learn about their families, their work, their views...
Second, I believe it would be good if we eliminated a couple of phrases from our vocabulary: "nonmember" and "non-Mormon..."
And third, if neighbors become testy or frustrated because of some disagreement with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or with some law we support for moral reasons, please don't suggest to them-even in a humorous way-that they consider moving someplace else...
Ref. Doctrine of Inclusion - Elder M. Russell Ballard
Link to Talk
I think the problem is some people can become a bit self-righteous. They forget all about the concept of agency. They know something to be true and if you aren't living that concept properly, then you aren't worthy of their friendship.
I know a woman like that. I love her as person. I think in many ways she is a wonderful person, and she would certainly do anything to help anyone...members at least. However, she has made the statement that she could never be friends with someone who smokes. Why is that? It wasn't that she didn't want them to smoke around her. She simply believes that the fact that they smoke is wrong and an indicator of the kind of person they are. What she is forgetting is that they are as much a child of God as she is. Perhaps if she befriended them, rather than judge them, she might be able to lead them to the Gospel. With her current attitude, we will never know.
I use this as one example. I have met a number of members like this. In their efforts to fully live the gospel, they become a bit over zealous...at least in my opinion.
That's so true. I think some members become over zealous about what they believe to be true and they started watching others with an eye of judgment and I'm not talking about non-members only but within their brothers and sisters. I think this is very sad and it shows that really humility and unselfish love are needed in their hearts. We are taught to despise the sin but to love the sinner, we tend to forget this many times.
It is interesting that we need to be taught so explicitly the doctrine of inclusion, even as we strive as a people to be included, recognized, and respected in the Christian community, and individually in our own spheres of influence. I sometimes think we are too comfortable in the Church, because of the great blessings of the Lord.
Having seen some struggling branches, I have wondered if a reverse exodus would be appropriate - sending strong families out of Utah and other Church strongholds to communities elsewhere in the world that would benefit immensely from only one strong LDS family. Of course, any organized movement like that would have to come by revelation to the Prophet.
I just wish we didn't need an excuse to be friendly to those of other faiths. We pray for the missionaries, then don't make friends with anybody we could refer to them! But that is why we have modern prophets - to bring us back to our senses when we become complacent.
Today, I taught Relief Society. The lesson was on the Word of Wisdom. The first statement out of anyone's mouth was to criticize the people who lived in their neighborhood and the effects of not living the Word of Wisdom in the lives. Why must we be so quick to judge others, especially those who are not members. Wouldn't it be better to try to become friendly rather than standoffish?
I wonder how many people who are now members of the church and are former smokers appreciate that woman's comments. I find myself much more tolerant of the sinners because I've been a sinner myself. It's interesting how some members, particularly folks raised in the church who have never tasted worldy sins like smoking or drinking, are so intolerant of these types of "sinners." Just because a person smokes, it doesn't make them evil, per se, just uninformed.
My personal mission is not to condemn the smokers but to inform them. If I can quit, so can they! I send out information via email, I hand out my personal business card, I offer moral support. I get a lot of crazy looks from people, but I don't mind. I know how it is.
I know for myself that my complete abstinence from smoking and drinking have not been because I was spiritually strong or had great willpower. It's just that I've always assumed I wouldn't do it. It was never a question.
Many lifelong members are like me - they keep the commandments because it's inconvenient to break them, not because they are converted to the principle. And some have the audacity to scoff at those who haven't had that fortune. But as I am trying to quit biting my fingernails right now, I understand my propensity toward addiction. How difficult it would be for me to quit smoking or drinking if I ever started! I have not had to do that, and I have great respect for those who have overcome those challenges.
The whole need no physician, but them that are sick! Overly critical Church members don't understand the purpose of the Church. So they must need the Atonement too! Good. Now we're all equal.