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Afraid To Offend?

Do you agree?

"He who dares not offend cannot be honest"
--Thomas Paine

Offend Afraid

That's deep. I agree to an extent. Obviously not all honesty is offensive. Speaking in the sense of holding out opinions, I still sort of agree. There are ways to go about saying something that may be honest but it still doesn't come out offensive. Of course, there are just somethings that if a person were to be honest about, no matter how much they sugar coat it, the other person will take it in an offensive manner.

Take the following question: "Do you like me cooking?"

Now, if a person hates it, it doesn't matter if they try to fluff it or not. If they say not in any form or fashion, chances are the other person will be hurt and offended, even if they don't necessarily show it.

Afraid To Offend? Health & Special Psychology

But who said not being honest is a bad thing? It is true that one who care a great deal about not offending will lack honesty but is that so wrong? I do not think so!

Offend Afraid

I agree with the statement- but not only can they not be honest, but also they cannot be successful. To continue Ambria's example: There are two people near you, one made cookies and one cake. The one who made the cookies asks "My cookies are way better than her cake, right?"

If you say yes, you hurt the cake maker's ego. If no, you hurt the cookie maker.

Edited: Smudge on 8th Jan, 2005 - 8:59pm

Offend Afraid

As Smudge has said, no matter what one says, it will offend someone. Therefore it is unrealistic to think that you can offend no one. If you haven't offended someone, then you have said nothing. The statement should be "He who dares not offend keeps his mouth shut"

Afraid To Offend?

On trivial issues, such as the question, "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is no valid reason to be brutally, offensively honest. Given that question, if the honest answer was 'Yes. Very much so!" I would simply say, "I really like how the red one looks on you." Not dishonest, not offensive, not a problem.

However, in matters of greater import, such as issues of religion and morality (or discussions that arise in the process of raising a teenager), sometimes the need to clearly defend the right choice is more important than the desire to make everybody feel good. At some point, if we truly know and stand for true principles, we will find ourselves unpopular. It seems twisted that some people would be actually offended by truth and right, but we see it constantly. For example, some individuals are not content to curse God by themselves - they feel the need to broadcast their agenda, even to the point of recent attempts to ban the Declaration of Independence from schools, because it mentions a Creator. Another example is the angry protest from parents who didn't agree that a unit on abstinence should be taught in the sex ed. portion of a health class! Righteousness is not just unpopular - it is abhored in today's world. Thus, by believing and living certain standards and doctrines as honestly as we can, at some point we will be considered offensive, even if we are only preaching by example. That is a risk we should be willing to take.

To summarize, if a person's feelings are morally more important than the honest, whole truth, then be diplomatic. If the principle is more important than reputation, be outwardly honest.

Afraid Offend

That won't be the whole truth, since you're avoiding the question. And even so, what if you don't like the red one?

Afraid Offend Psychology Special & Health

This reminds me of the commercial I have recently seen on TV. The wife asks if the pants make her look fat, so the husband immediately fills his mouth with a candy bar, then just makes mumbling sounds. The wife takes the answer the way SHE wants, and is happy with it.

It is not always necessary to answer the question that is asked. Sometimes it is more useful to sidestep the question in order to avoid causing unnecessary hurt.

But, as Howe pointed out, there are times to stand for what is right, no matter who will be offended.