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Afraid To Offend? - Page 2

I think honesty is a very important quality on an individual. Sometimes things must be said, whether it offends the person or not. As I stated in the thread about Anger Management, if a person decides to feel offended is because of that...they decided to feel the way they did. We can decide to feel the way we want, we control our emotions. I do not think anyone wants purposely to offend in a normal relationship and the way we use words are very important. I am not afraid to offend because I do not have that intention in the first place.

Offend Afraid

I don't think that is necessarily true. Some emotions are felt as an initial reaction, and while we can surely tell ourselves that the particular feeling was not one we should follow, it is still the same feeling, it does not go away. We can ignore it, but it will still be there.

Well, I am a person that is afraid to offend. If it is a person I know, and he is hurt, I will most probably feel his pain myself.

Afraid To Offend? Health & Special Psychology

It does not change the fact that we control them. Nobody makes you "feel" in any particular way. You decide to feel the way you want to feel. Just my opinion.

Edited: LDS_forever on 13th Feb, 2005 - 11:23pm

Page 2 Offend Afraid

My response is to the original question. I completely agree with the statement made by Thomas Paine. I think that you are either going to be honest or you are going to be "politically correct". I think that people who try not to offend deny the feelings they truly have and do a grave disservice to those they are speaking too. By pulling to many punches, you are saying that the person you are speaking too is not intelligent enough to hear what you are saying with the intent that you mean for it.

I personally don't try to offend, but I don't pull punches when I am speaking or writing. But this could also be because I do not get offended. Truly, I cannot remember the last time I was offended by anyone or anything. I will not give someone else the power of letting their words effect me in such a negative fashion. Not to say I don't have initial anger, but I quickly put it into perspective and move on.

Offend Afraid

I don't know who said it, but, "pick your battles wisely". At work, if I know that I will be trampled to death by a contradictory statement, I probably will obstain from making a comment or just go with the majority. However, there are times where I am extremely confident that I am right and I want it on the record that there was a dissenting voice. In that case, I speak up. If I said what I wanted to all the time when asked my opinion, it would be political suicide and I am sure I would be seeking other gainful employment.

Just me,

Vincenzo

Afraid To Offend?

Very valid points. I was also thinking that if you really do not have the intention of offending someone, you cannot allow yourself to be controlled by someone else that will get offended no matter what because they are too think skinned.

Afraid Offend - Page 2

My fear of offending people does affect what I say, thereby affecting my honesty with that person. It was one of the reasons I was reluctant initially to join the forum. I didn't want to offend, but bwren encouraged me to be honest and to not worry about what others think. Honesty is important. You can't control whether someone is offended or not. But you can control your honesty which should be valued.

I will relate this recent story about what happened at work which shows how I didn't follow the above logic. My boss asked me about my review date and I mentioned around June. She asked if I would be interested in adding on to my job and bill Medicare for DME supplies. I know nothing about DME billing and I felt that maybe the other biller should take this on because she bills for one nursing home of 130 residents and bill for 2 homes with almost 150 residents combined. I felt she would have more time than myself. But I didn't want to offend my boss so I said I would be interested. I didn't want to offend her and thereby cause her not to give me a larger raise in salary when my review date came around.

I should have been honest, but I didn't want to risk losing out on a much needed raise.