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Age Differences In Relationships - Page 3

That might be a reason to allow your children to use the internet and feel comfortable, but it certainly isn't reason to allow them to have an on-line relationship with an adult, in my opinion. Why would you risk such with your own child? Even 1% is too much. Ask the parents of one of those percentage that end up in such relationships if they think it is o.k. I doubt it.

I don't think the analogy with swimming fits the situation. I think there is much to gain by allowing your children to swim, such as learning water safety to protect them, etc. However, I see no benefit to allowing a child and an adult an on-line or other friendship with an adult with whom they have no familial relationship. There may be benefit, but not benefit that cannot just as easily be gained from a safer method. If they need companionship they can get that with others their own age. If they need counseling, go to a school counseler, etc.

Really! I must say this shocks me. For many reasons.

I can tell you I most definately would not allow such a thing for my teenage daughter, if I had one. My Church teaches that even two adults of the opposite sex who are married to other people should not ride together to Church meetings in order to avoid any possibility of inappropriate behavior or even the appearance of it. It seems to me, that if as adults we are expected to be so careful of our behavior on the slight chance something inappropriate might happen, then we most definately should be at least as careful as that with our children.

I know this is not the religious board. I am only using the above statement to explain how and why I see this as inappropriate if there is even a slight risk, which 2% could be considered.

Edited: funbikerchick on 16th Feb, 2005 - 1:40am

Relationships Differences Age

"Empirical information" meaning they don't have a lot of actual experiences that they can draw from. This doesn't mean that it doesn't happen; it means it isn't reported. I can tell you that my son's experience never made it to the news. I would be willing to bet that a lot of families would rather not have it publicized.

Age Differences In Relationships Health & Special Psychology

Normally I wouldn't do what Im about too. If you have read the earlier posts, you know my view was not really against, and not really for. But based on all the arguments put forth, I have to add another post. I had to look at this from a point of view of one of my three kids doing it.

Despite its hypocritical nature, I would be more outraged if my daughter had an online adult friend as opposed to my son. I am much more protective of my daughter in that fashion. In my opinion, that mere 2% is two percent too much risk. I wouldn't leave my child alone in the care for 3 minutes while I ran into a gas station, even though the percentage rates of kids kidnapped out of cars in public is well below 5%. The fact is, you wouldn't risk your childs well being for anything in the world.

Despite the fact that the percentage is low, the prospect of a bad situation happening is still there. If you don't want anything to happen, its best to completely stay out of harms way. My dad used to keep me out of the street, not because I didn't watch, but because others would occassionally not pay attention. Im sure a good many of these incidents didn't happen on purpose, but just happened gradually over time. No one is immune to this type of situation, sometimes it just happens. Of course, you have to allow yourself to get in the position for it to happen. Sometimes, its just best to steer clear of any thing that could go bad, or anything that could be perceived as bad.

Page 3 Relationships Differences Age

Exactly the point I was trying to make. You said it better than I did, though. Thanks.

I also want to comment on a few points Dawn raised in her Blog about this topic. Since I can't respond to her blog and since the comments in her blog pertain to this topic, I will quote her blog here for purposes of responding.

From Dawnofthenew's blog:

You didn't really say what your position is now. Does this mean you would now be against it? I think one of the wonderful things about a discussion forum is the fact that we can each see things from a different view and often that will cause us to reconsider our original thoughts. This appears to be what konquererz gained from this thread, as well.

From Dawnofthenew's blog:

There was recently a news story about this very thing. Simply monitoring doesn't seem to be an answer because teens seem to have an on-line language all of their own. Most adults see what is written and think they know what is being said, but there is some hidden, secret meaning that we, as the parents, don't seem to understand. Now, we can't really discuss how best to monitor on-line time in this thread, but I believe it was suggested that Dawn consider opening a new thread on the "computer" board to discuss that topic, since she has some ideas about how to do it. I just wanted in this thread to point out that the idea that the parents will monitor the relationship with the adult has been proven not to work in most situations.

So, for me, better safe than sorry would seem to be the best course to follow.

Edited: funbikerchick on 25th Feb, 2005 - 9:46pm

Relationships Differences Age

I think this is a GREAT point. That's why even though I personally read statitistics in general, I always say that statitistics are just a bunch of numbers but really each one of those numbers is a person. Personally even if it is 0.02% of risk, I would not allow it, when you are a concerned and caring parent, then it does not exist an "allowed" percentage to allow my teen son or daughter to have a relationship with a married adult. I think the question of "why a married adult with kids would want to have a relationship with a teen?" still not answered and that fact alone, speaks for itself. Because the reality is...there is not a good valid reason in my opinion. Why a married person would choose a teen over a person of his/her own age?.

I like your concept. I think the perception or appearance of "evil" should be avoided at all cost. I am a strong believer that we never finish to know ourselves and even though we may think we will *never* do something bad, we may end up doing it!, why to get involved in such a risk? why is the relationship so important?. Points to ponder...

Offtopic but, QUOTE I think one of the wonderful things about a discussion forum is the fact that we can each see things from a different view and often that will cause us to reconsider our original thoughts This is so true Tena! and I think this thread is teaching us all to learn more how we think and where do we stand. We would be surprised how much we can learn about someone through reading their opinions and thoughts on a particular topic.

This is so true Tena! and I think this thread is teaching us all to learn more how we think and where do we stand. We would be surprised how much we can learn about someone through reading their opinions and thoughts on a particular topic.

Age Differences In Relationships

Wether you guys say it's possible for a teen and an adult to be friends or more is not really up to any of us, but it is up to the two in question. There are many cases of young adults falling in love with people that are well over twenty years older than them and live happily. Then there are many cases where they are extremely miserable. It all boils down down to the two in question like I have said. It has a lot to do with both of their mentality levels and understanding of each other, as well as openness to new things. I suppose it is wrong, I mean I think it is very disgusting for a person to date a person that is younger or older than the other by more than 5 years, but then again like every rule made there is always atleast one exception.

Age Differences Relationships - Page 3

Glyph, I have no problem with adults of different ages being friends or dating. This thread is more about a teenager dating or being friends with an adult. For example, someone 15 being friends with someone 35. I can understand 15 and 20, but not 15 and 40 for example. What would they really have in common? What would the reason be for the 35 or 40 year old to have such a friendship. We are not talking about casual pleasantries either, but hanging out together as friends do of the same age.

Age Differences Relationships Psychology Special & Health - Page 3

Glyphfury said

I hope you would qualify this a bit more, because it is very close-minded, in my opinion, to make this kind of statement with respect to adults in a relationship. Like FBC said, this discussion is dealing more with teenagers who are in a relationship with a very much older adult. If you are talking about anyone, adult or not, who is in a relationship with someone who is 5 or more years older/younger than the other, then I suggest you start a new topic on it, and be prepared for some healthy discussion