Close Topic Options

Wives, Be In Subjection...

How is a married couple to interpret the below verses of scripture? Some religious groups are very fanatical about it, especially this line:

"Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands"

Ephesians 5:21-28

Subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything. husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loves his own wife loves himself

Subjection In Wives

This is not one of my favorite principals of the gospel. *smile* I don't think it means the man is the boss in the sense that whatever he says goes. Sorry, guys.

I think it means he is the spiritual head of the home. And, then only if he is living worthy of such trust by the woman. It takes faith of the woman in the man to allow such leadership. I have never been one for trusting in that manner. This is an area in which I need growth.

I don't think it means the man can tell me how to cut my hair, or what clothes to wear or any thing as controlling as that. I don't think it is for him to tell me if it is o.k. to go back to school, etc. I think he should be consulted in such things simply because he is a partner in the marriage. The man, too, needs to consult the woman about such things.

However, I think the man is entitled to certain guidance from the holy ghost for his family as a whole. To me that is what it really means. In such cases where the man is truly doing his best to live a righteous life, then he will receive guidance for how to best provide for and protect his family. The Lord's house is a house of order. So, I believe as long as the man is living worthy of such revelation, this inspiration will be given through him not through the woman. It is then for him to help the woman to see the wisdom of it.

In order to truly live this principal, you must not forget the second part of the scripture which instructs the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. This means he really must always have her best interests in mind at all times. He can't use the "because I am the man and I say so" line, for example.

Edited: funbikerchick on 20th Feb, 2005 - 7:33pm

Wives, Be In Subjection... Revealed Bible The

I couldn't agree more with what funbikerchick said in her post. Referring to the above quote, I used to really struggle with this principle in the early years of our marriage. I didn't want to be 'told what to do' and I was more selfish at the time, wanting to do what I felt was best. I have learned through the years that it's a great thing to consult my husband if my choices are going to personally affect him, and even when they don't really effect him. In discussing this scripture previously in our marriage, we felt that it was telling us to give everything, our all, to each other. That we should, in many ways, be subject to each other (as the first line of the quoted scriptures says), not necessarily that only the wife is subject to the husband. I guess in some ways I struggled to trust my husband's judgement and to give up control over many of my decisions. Now, I have learned that he does have my very best interests at heart, just as 'Christ does for His church' and it is actually a relief not to have to make some of my choices and decisions on my own. He does not ever order, control, or make me do anything that would be unkind or an unrighteous of him to do. Our marriage and partnership has grown a lot from trying to live by the admonitions that these scriptures give. I would have to say that this would be a very difficult scripture to follow if my husband tried to lead and control me in a negative way, having only his best interests at heart. I would say that a wife does not need to subject herself to an unrighteous husband.

Subjection In Wives

I love this scripture. I think is wonderful and teaches husbands and wives how they should treat each other, it also defines the responsibilities of both of them.

First of all let me start by saying that a marriage is a patriarchal order or organization, meaning that the husband is the head of the home. It is the patriarch, not only the spiritual head but also the temporal. Of course I am talking about a marriage, I am not talking about the exceptions of single mothers fulfilling both roles.

My Church teaches that the husband is the head of the home, whether he holds the priesthood or not, and the one that presides over his wife and family. By presiding I mean, the one that has the last word if a decision must be taken and both parts do not agree, of course the ideal situation is that both husband and wife agree in the decision making but does not happen all the time, therefore is the husband who should have the last word in decision making ONLY in the situation where both do not agree, of course, this should be prayerfully consider and the husband should take into consideration his wife opinions, thoughts and feelings... just as the Bishop and his counselors, only the Bishop is the one that has the last word if his counselors and him cannot reach an agreement. It does not mean he is going to disregard her counselor's thoughts, but it means that if they do not agree, he is the one entitled with the right of having the last word and decision making. Is the same in a marriage, that's what Paul meant by "submitting" to the husband...meaning trusting he is the one who has been appointed to that sacred responsibility. This is a divine appointment.

Some women may think they could do a better job as presiding officers.. maybe they could!..yet for the Lord it the appointment still within the husband and the women still possessing the wonderful gift of being a helpmeet and a mother. It is NOT that the men are superior to the women or viceversa, it is just a matter of sacred callings we may have been appointed before this world was created and we need to accept it, it is not a matter whether it is true or not. This is what the Lord have said.


If our husband is worthy and righteous and sacrifices everything for his family, we do not have to be afraid or concern or angry about this scripture. Because we know that our husband will try his best to come to a decision that not only will benefit his family but also that would please God, then there is nothing to fear. Now, when we are not quiet sure about these feelings, then obviously an scripture like this one would have a negative impact on us.

Subjection In Wives

This scripture describes why it is so important to choose wisely when one marries. If you can't trust your husband to be the head of the household, why marry him? In a future husband, I'm looking for the traits of a true patriarch, which I didn't do in previous marriges because I didn't know that I should.

In my faith, we have the opportunity to receive a sacred blessing from one who is called to be a Patriarch, and it's called a Patriarchal Blessing. In it, we are given personal instruction for our lives, and mine has very specific instruction on how to be a more caring, loving wife - how to show respect for the office of priesthood that my husband held, that men do lean on their wives for guidance (as was mentioned before about counselors) etc... Perhaps if I had followed that advice during my first marriage, I wouldn't have had the sad experiences that followed.

I have met many men in recent years whom I have had the opportunity to evaluate based on my new perspective, and have seen several that, in my opinion, display the traits of a good patriarch. It encourages me to know that they do exist, and I hope that their wives know how blessed they are to have them.

Wives, Be In Subjection...

I notice the lack of male responses and the quickness of women to proclaim that this is not what it appears to be.

sub·ject Audio pronunciation of "subjection" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sbjkt)
adj.

1. Being in a position or in circumstances that place one under the power or authority of another or others: subject to the law.

This scripture is how it sounds, it is saying that the husband is in power over his wife. The reason for this has to do with the culture of the day. The culture of that era can still be seen today in some Arab countries in which women are still subject under men. Paul was writing to back up commonly held beliefs about women, but make sure that they where treated properly. The Bible was written in a time of women being less then men and its writings back that up. In the day, it would not have been excepted to tell men that women where equals with them. So, Paul stayed with what was excepted, making sure to show that the Christian faith didn't to radically change their life. Jewish and other semitic peoples beliefs at the time back this up.

Wives In Subjection...

You are right. Any thoughtful, faithful man is scared to death by this scripture. It places a lot of responsibility upon the man to act right.

There is also the fact that we have been hammered so much over the last 3 - 4 decades by the feminist movement, that we don't dare even dwell upon the implications of this scripture.

Personally, I believe that it does mean just what it says. But I also believe that the scriptures require a far higher standard of men than most of us are willing to admit.

I think that Farseer's points are the best about what is required of a man before the woman would need to submit to him. And it isn't the type of thing you see in Muslim societies.

Edited: Nighthawk on 21st Feb, 2005 - 1:49pm

Wives In Subjection... The Bible Revealed

Ah, the art of being submissive. Personally, I love the scripture as well. It defines who should be in charge and who is the head of the household.

I do believe that the man is the head of the household, and the scripture says what it means. I also think that to the extent and how it is handled depends upon the individual couples. With me and my significant other, I am working on being submissive to him. At the same time, we know each other so well, that there are things I really don't have to ask him about because I already know the answer to it. That's just a blessing of being with each other for so long. If I want to cut my hair, I do ask him about it. I don't do it to necessarily ask for permission, but to get his input on what he thinks. If he prefers my hair long, then I'm not going to go cut six inches off of it...again. BUT, one thing that I've noticed when I heard pig headed men quote this verse is that htey leave out the part about how the husband is supposed to treat the wife.

It's not just supposed to be a situation where a husband walks in and yells at his wife "Woman get in the kitchen and make me a steak." The man is supposed to respect his wife's opinions and thoughts. He's supposed to treat his wife as he would treat himself. A lot of times that goes overlooked because a lot of men, though not all, are more caught up in the power trip of the whole situation.

Whenever I am thinking about doing something significant, I always talk to Josh about it, BUT he always talks to me. Honestly, it almost gets a little rediculous because he will try to engage me in twenty minutes of time helping him pick out shampoo. I would rather be marrying a man who values my opinion, though, than one who doesn't care.

I think there's a balance, also. Just because the husband is the head of the household does NOT mean he is always going to be the superior person in dealing with a situation. There have been many times when I have had more experience and have more wisdom dealing with a situation than Josh has, so when it comes to making the final decisions, he hands that over to me. Likewise, there are things that when it comes to making a decision, like pickin out technology of sorts, I'm going to leave completely up to him. It's a matter of being able to respect each other and value each other's wisdom and intelligence in making it through a relationship.