Lehi, father of Nephi and many others has been acclaimed as one of the great Prophets of the Book of Mormon. Many critics wonder about his murmurings and the fact that he has two sons that were so evil that they even plotted to murder. How could such a righteous man have such evil in his family?
Was Lehi doing something wrong? Now here is another thing to think about... we are commanded to teach our children the word of God. This teaching should be to the point that the child becomes a member of the Church and follows a Christ-like life. However, how do you know the line between your failure as a parent and the agency of the child, or how do you know when you have 'done enough'? Can you do enough?
"We must work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life
counted on it, because, in fact, everything in life does count on it. If we
fail in our homes, we fail in our lives. . . . The consequences of your
leadership in your home will be eternal and everlasting."
(Gordon B. Hinckley, "Each a Better Person," Ensign, Nov. 2002, 100)
This is a very hard question to answer but I do know Lehi loved his sons and he tried to tell them the right thing to do:
"My heart hath been weighed down with sorrow from time to time, for I have feared, lest for the hardness of your hearts the Lord your God should come out in the fulness of his wrath upon you, that ye be cut off and destroyed forever; Or, that a cursing should come upon you for the space of many generations; and ye are visited by sword, and by famine, and are hated, and are led according to the will and captivity of the devil. O my sons, that these things might not come upon you, but that ye might be a choice and a favored people of the Lord. But behold, his will be done; for his ways are righteousness forever. And he hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; but inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence. (2 Nephi 1:17-20)
Now, I will make a personal analysis if that's okay....it is interesting to notice that Laman and Lemuel were the older brothers of Nephi and it seems they used to stick together rather than be around Nephi and his younger brother. Who knows...maybe Lehi tried hard to be a good father for Laman and Lemuel and they were very rebel and like many parents today he kind of give up in a way and tried to acomplish with Nephi and his younger brother all the things he could not do with Laman and Lemuel and maybe they felt even more resentful towards their father and even more jealous towards Nephi. I don't know, this is just my analysis. I do know that many parents today 'give up' in a way to those children who are the troublemakers and they (parents) stick to the ones who are smart and nice and the ones who listen them...but sometimes they forget that even though the other children are not as good or as smart, they're the ones who needs them the most.
Just my two cents.
This may sound silly, but could it be a 'too much praise' or 'too much expected' syndrome on the part of the parent? For instance, suppose Laman was constantly told..."You are the eldest, you will be the next... you need to do this or that". Let's say that Laman was not thought why or how, but just that he should do it. Or maybe he was thought the right way, but like Esau he gave up his birthright for material things?
Although not related to Lehi, this quote is very applicable to the subject:
"Dads, it is imperative that the challenges [of fatherhood] be mastered
in our lives if our sons are to be spiritually and emotionally mature. If
we do, then they will not be ashamed of us, nor will they ever be ashamed
of themselves."
(F. Melvin Hammond, "Dad, Are You Awake?" Ensign, Nov. 2002, 99)
[quote]For instance, suppose Laman was constantly told..."You are the eldest, you will be the next... you need to do this or that". Let's say that Laman was not thought why or how, but just that he should do it. Or maybe he was thought the right way, but like Esau he gave up his birthright for material things? [/quote]
Hmmmm I don't think so, because Laman and Lemuel tried to kill Nephi in several occasions, I understand they could be jealous of their brother but to reach the point of trying to kill him is obviously that they were doing wrong and evil things long time ago.
I was just looking around and found this thread. I wanted to share something that is obviously just an opinion, one shared with me and it made some sense as far as looking at the righteousness of Laman & Lemuel vs. Nephi.
We assume because of the riches that they offered Laban that Lehi's family was well off. Being a merchant most of his life he would of brought up Laman and Lemuel following that path. So we have a dad, that is well off, with 2 sons that are enjoying this wealth and lifestyle. Then comes this point where Lehi "finds God-so to speak (religious fanatic in our day maybe to some?) he becomes a prophet and his whole focus changes. Nephi being the younger brother is therefore influenced by this lifestyle whereas the older brothers are not so quick to join Dad on his religious "fad"--they are just wondering when Dad is going to get back to being "normal." It might be compared to taking a wealthy man in our day, that has the finest of things and is "known" in the world around him, his children are used to that and he comes home from work one night and says at the dinner table, "FAMILY, GUESS WHAT?" And so on. His children might not be so quick to accept that either, especially if they are older.
I don't think we can judge on whether Lehi was a good father because of the evil in their hearts to commit murder, if this was so, does that mean that Adam is not the great father because Cain killed Abel?