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Can A Father Be Just As Good As A Mother?

Patience is a virtue. Boy is it, I tell you my kids drive me crazy. I am a single twenty-two year old father of two kids. My sunshine Gracy is my daughter she is almost three years old. My son Adrian is one and a half. Together they drive me up the wall. I often wonder if a father is just as good as a mother. My experiences seeing a mother at work revealed a woman with patience and caring, always looking to comfort the children. I was always the bad guy. When daddy speaks and the kids disagree my wife was always there to say "Come on just let them do it." I had no problem sticking to my guns but I still wonder now that she is no longer in our lifes about the way they feel without a homebase so to speak. Without somewhere to run when things are not they way they want. I just don't see myself giving up on the things I tell them. I am a firm father who always shows a lot of love as well as dicipline. Is that good enough for a kid. Does a motherly touch give a kid something a father can't?

Mother As Good Just Father Can

When a mother is taking care of the children, there is a certain amount of "mothering" that goes on that a father does usually give. The same can be said of what a father gives that a mother doesn't. But when one is gone, then the other is forced into the reality that they have to be both. A good single mother shows both the caring mothering side and the firm hand of the father. There is a reason that two is better than one. But when forced to do both jobs, the one has to pick up the responsibilities of both mother and father. I ddon'tbelieve that this is a matter of which parent does it, but just that the needs get fulfilled. It has to be very hard to be both, but I believe that a father can do the mothers job also just as well as a single mother can do the fathers job also. I ddon'tthink its a matter of a mother having something that a father doesn't, I think its a matter of the children naturally looking for the mother for certain fulfillments. When my kids fall down, they run to mommy. When mommy isn't around, they run to me and I kiss the boo boo and they are all better just like with my wife. I think that you have everything you need to be both parents, the children will eventually naturally come to you for every need type, including needs that they would have gone to the mother for. You obviously are extremely caring and loving, in time, I believe that everything their mother did for them, they will begin to come to you for instead.

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StudioDollar, is just a matter of time. Your kids are very small and is natural the way they are behaving taking in consideration that their mother is no longer in their lives. As Kon said, they will run to you for comfort and love...right now you may feel you cannot do it but you can!. Just as a single mom raises kids on a daily basis, there are thousands of single dads that do a wonderful job rasing their children. Just have plenty patience, love and understanding. I wish you all the best.

Mother As Good Just Father Can

StudioDollar, you are so young to be in your situation! My own son is 22, and I can't imagine his being a father of two -- let alone being a single parent.

Yes, there are certain things only mothers can do, and certain things only fathers can do. From my own experiences as a single mother -- and as a step-mother to other people's children, I can tell you it will never be as exactly perfect as you want it. Just do the best that you can, love them as best as you can, and remember that they are just babies at this point. As they grow, you will have opportunities to grow with them. Try not to be too strict, but firm and loving at the same time. You must show even more love to your children after you have reprimanded or disciplined them, or otherwise they will grow to feel you hate them.

Offtopic but, Do you have any family close by to help you out? Your parents? Sisters or brothers? Make sure that you have time for yourself periodically, to refresh yourself and regroup when times are stressful. I send you great good wishes for success.

Mother As Good Just Father Can

A father can not do as well as a mother and a mother can not do as well as a father. They are two distinct roles. However, a single father can do just as well as a single mother. When there are not two parents of different sexes in the home, something is missing. The natural balance isn't there.

When my grandson awakes in the middle of the night crying, my son's first inclination is ask him what is wrong. All my grandson really wants is to be held and comforted. Nothing is wrong. He had a bad dream. Men tend to want to fix things, woman tend to want to comfort or nurture.

You have already described the areas in which you feel you lack as a man that a mother would better provide. So, you can work at being better in those areas. Your children need love and nuturing as much as they need discipline. You may never find it as natural as your wife did, but if you take conscious steps to provide it, over time it will become easier.

I was raised by my father. My parents divorced when I was very young. I have always known my father loved me. The mistake he made, in my opinion, was allowing his new wife(s) to come in and take over the role that belonged to him. I think he was so relieved to not have to be the "mother" that he just immediately deferred to her. She wasn't my mother. He was my father. He had always been the parent and then he gave that up to a person who was mostly a stranger to me.

I have seen that same "mistake" made in other situations where a single father has been raising children. This will make your children more unhappy than your inability to be as nuturing as their natural mother would be.

Good luck. You can do it.

Can A Father Be Just As Good As A Mother?

"Good" in what way?

A father can be every bit of a mother as is humanly possible but I do not think he can fully be a replacement. Mothering usually involves hugs, comforting, someone to talk to, share things with and maybe get a treat during the day - is this what is beging asked in the title?

There are some things that just come natural to mothers. Also, I believe it is more rare to see a father taking up both hats responsibly. Most times you see the mother fulfilling this role.

Can Father Just Good As Mother

Why not fathers? I have seen fathers who hug, comfort, talk to and do all those things with their kids. I don't think it's a matter of gender. Many mothers don't have any of these qualities.

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It sounds like the presumption is that all Mothers are good...you've only got to look at Rosemary West (serial killer) to see that it's not always the case!

Both Mother's and Father's play important roles in raising children, the main role most times naturally by the Mother, but I've also seen some outstanding parenting by single Father's raising their kids on their own, and I think as long as the parent deeply loves the child, gender shouldn't really come in to it. (in my humble opinion).