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Autism: Pity Does Not Help

Autism: Pity Does Not Help

If you are the parent of autistic children do you ever find that people are very quick to pity you when they learn of your struggles with autistic children? It can be annoying sometimes because they want to talk about it and you don't have time to talk. They write you saying they hope things get better - well really it doesn't because Autism is not a disease you cure and any positive changes takes many months - sometimes years. They suggest "Why don't you do this or that...", well don't you think I would have tried everything already?

People can help by being understanding instead of pitying. There is a difference between making yourself available if needed instead of asking many questions, calling at odd times to talk, saying how 'worried' they are for you or worst off asking for your help with their problems when none can be given because you're in a deep hole of your own. Thoughts?

Help Not Pity Autism

I find the 'why don't you try this' so true, they have absolutely no idea... They seem to think that you haven't ever tried whatever they are suggesting before (reality is you've probably been trying it for years) but people have this attitude that if you try what they suggest.. Your child will be 'cured'. What people don't realise is that a child with Autism grows up to be an adult with Autism!

Autism: Pity Does Not Help Health & Special Psychology

Exactly, save in the adult's case people may be just labelled the autistic adult as "Mad", "Crazy", "Weird" or "Skitzy", no one will say, "Oh maybe he's autistic".

For children I believe it comes down to people believing that children just don't have any mental issues if they look 'normal'. If they act badly it's because you are not a strict enough parent. Thinking about past incidences its sort of pity mixed with scolding almost as though your current situation is because of your 'methods' and not something beyond your control.