Strange Things People Say In A Courtroom

Strange People Courtroom - Politics, Business, Civil, History - Posted: 22nd May, 2013 - 10:05pm

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Posts: 4 - Views: 524
16th May, 2013 - 12:28am / Post ID: #

Strange Things People Say In A Courtroom

Strange Things People Say In A Courtroom

Came across some of these today, some are quite funny:

international QUOTE
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive, practicing law somewhere.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


Some of these answers reminds me of people I speak to when I travel it is like trying to get a dog to talk:

international QUOTE
* Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
* Witness: "I could see his head."
* Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
* Witness: "Just above his shoulders."

* Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
* Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
* Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
* Witness: "Attached to the ears."


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16th May, 2013 - 12:35am / Post ID: #

Courtroom In People Strange

Oh I've seen these before. I think that sometimes just don't realize what they say because it is a courtroom and your nervous. I'm adding some more to your collection.

international QUOTE
Lawyer: "Are you married?"
Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."

Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."


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Post Date: 22nd May, 2013 - 9:28pm / Post ID: #

Strange Things People Say In A Courtroom
A Friend

Strange Things People Say In A Courtroom History & Civil Business Politics

These are pretty funny and I think that Krusten is correct that a lot of it has to do with people being nervous in these court situations. Still, it is interesting to see how people react in that they are very careful with what they say. Some people say as little as possible and you have to work to get every detail out of them. Other people add details to their basic answer and give more information than the person wanted.

22nd May, 2013 - 10:05pm / Post ID: #

Courtroom In People Strange

international QUOTE
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive, practicing law somewhere.


laugh.gif In this one case the doctor was very quick with his answers, made the lawyer looks so stupid. I'll bet as a doctor he's used to being asked the dumbest of questions like "If I eat lots of cake will I get fat?"


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