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Members Responsibilities In The Work Place

I have a question. What are everyone's opinion on how we as "endowed members, RM, hold Stake callings, members in good standing in the church" should act outside of church in the work place with other members.

The reason for my question. My husband and I are both members, sealed in the Temple almost 5 years ago. He works with a couple of members, one is in our ward, the other in another ward in our Stake. They are related the member in our ward is the uncle of the other member. My husband is not from the south. He is from NY State, and has his own mind set. He is by no means perfect, and sometimes he says things that he shouldnt say. But this other member we will call "X" loves to harass, aggravate, torment and pretty much make my husband's work life terrible. "X' has no senority, he is the bottom of the list. "X" has an attitude that he seems to think he is better than my husband. He tries to boss my husband, he tries to tell him what he is going to do, which truck he is going to drive, how he is going to do it. Then also says things to push my husbands buttons. My husband was the first driver hired for this new company, "X" was the 4th driver hired.

My husband comes home almost daily complaining about "X". To the point I am tired of hearing about it, and I stepped in and called "X"s bishop, who happens to be his father. His father said that he is an endowed member, RM, and holds a Stake calling, and that my husband must be instigating all the problems.

I got very upset, and recalled Pres Hinkley's talk about contention between the members and if it was there, that it needed to be resolved, and avoided at all costs. I told my husband what I did, I sent an email to "X" asking him to lay off. I don't know if that has done any good or not. My husband has an appointment with 1st counselor in Stake Presidency this week, to try and get the problem resolved.

Any way, my question, or I always thought that if we are members then we are supposed to be living the gospel on a daily basis. If the person that we are "joking" around with don't think it is funny, then we need to lay off. If the person that you are having problems with, is trying to avoid the problem by staying away from you,. then you need to respect them and not search them out. Am I wrong in feeling this way? We are supposed to be loving and supportive to everyone, and especially our fellow members, at least that was what I have always been taught. I would like feedback from others to find out if they are in agreement or disagreement with me.

Place Work The Responsibilities Members

Since you are not given details about what this member is doing to your husband (specifically) I cannot give a full opinion as yet. Nevertheless, I see you have talk with the guy's bishop and now your husband is having an interview with a counselor in the Stake Presidency. Why is the whole issue going that far? Did your husband approach the guy directly and share his feelings?

I think as members of the Church we have a responsibility to behave in the best way we can, in and out of Church. It does not matter to me whether you are endowed or hold a "stake calling". My husband and I were talking about this today, sometimes we focus so much in "callings" like if having a call in the Stake makes someone more righteous than another. This is not so and as Latter-Day Saints as you well said we should avoid contention at all costs.

The thing is that some members think that just because they are not in "Church" they can behave the way they want (yes, a double standard thing). I think most people become very disappointed because they are also fellow Saints doing these things and they expect them to behave in a certain way. Well, as I said before, reality is far from that.

I am having this problem right now with a fellow member but then I realized that the person has some psychological issues and even though from time to time she comes around me and annoys me, says mean things about me and harass me, I totally ignore her and my conversations are just "Hello" and "have a good day". She got the point after several, several attempts. I know it is not the same case you are putting, but I think if your husband is so concerned over this issue, he should talk directly and sincerely with this other member and put all the cards on the table.

Just because a person is a member of the Church, it does not mean they are going to behave great at a workplace. To be honest with you, I would never hire a member of the Church for any job. It always end up in trouble.

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This is something I've learned: Just because someone is a member of the church, that doesn't automatically make them a "good person." It doesn't automatically make them "normal" or "spiritual" or "sensible." There are annoying people all over the world, and plenty of them make their way into the church (or are born into it).

This probably should have been resolved between your husband and "X" in private, at work. If that didn't resolve it, then your husband should have spoken to a supervisor at work to get it cleared up. "X" is behaving this way at work, not at church, and it's about work-related issues, not church-related. Getting his father, bishop, stake president, etc., involved has now inappropriately (in my opinion) brought the conflict to church.

Another thing I've learned about working with church members is that a stake or other presidency calling doesn't automatically mean that the person is more qualified or more spiritual or even has more integrity than the next person. It's just a matter of perception. For instance there are folks in my stake who think our stake president is next to godliness, but he's my boss at work and I can tell you from experience he is not.

Not everything we do as members in the workplace involves, or should involve, the church. Personality conflicts and behavioral issues are commonplace on the job. Those should be taken care of in the appropriate channels within the company.

All in my opinion, of course.
Roz

Place Work The Responsibilities Members

It's very frustrating when active LDS church members who have made covenants to emulate Christ, don't do so. When such behave so contrarily to the Lord's teachings, it makes them appear very hypocritical. I agree that it shouldn't be so. However, as FarSeer said, there are good people and bad people in all walks of life and that includes inside the church in Stake callings or endowed or whatever. I've heard stories and seen it quite often, so it doesn't surprise me. In my opinion, such a person will either grow into his calling and eventually change his behavior, or he will be held accountable to the Lord for not keeping the covenants he has made. Either way, my job is not to judge but to develop tolerance, patience, and forgiveness. I know this is easier said than done, and maybe I would have none of these, but I don't believe I would feel it my place to call this man's behavior to the attention of his Bishop/father. There is one aspect of your post that I disagree with.

I would leave off the last part of your sentence or change it to say that we should be loving and supportive of everyone, especially non-members. Isn't this more what we are asked to do?

Offtopic but, Your husband and mine must have very different personalities. If I were ever to "step in" he would string me up by my toes!

Place Work The Responsibilities Members

The church is perfect the people are not. A good example is some people who run business. Some times I wonder how many people have been driven from the church because of "members" have cheated lied committed fraud to get the almighty buck. and then show up at church and take the sacrament. I know from personal experience that the owner of a large trucking Company in the Salt lake area That has big red trucks and the name starts with C.R. is a member of the church and has committed fraud more times then the courts can count and has swindled pay from his drivers. So many truck drivers I talk about the church to say if it wasn't for that Man they might be more receptive to the message.

Message Edited! JB@Trinidad: Are you reading all the associated messages with your posts that says: CHECK YOUR SPELLING?

Members Responsibilities In The Work Place

I've realized that as a member, a lot of people's ideas about the LDS church depends on me. I'm the only member a lot of the people I work with know. At my workplace, all they play on the radio is reggae/hawaiian music, or perverse rap at night, and it's really bad to work when that's playing. I can't stand it, not because of the musical part of it, but I can hear all of the lyrics loud and clear. I pray that it'll stop, which has worked quite a few times, but it just feels like I'm being mentally raped. I'm even thinking about quitting, which wouldn't be a huge loss because it's Taco Bell, and they hire people back the second they say they want to work again... but I know a lot of the other workers well and aside from the music, it's a decent environment. I've had some missionary opportunities, but I screwed one up and I'm kicking myself ever since it happened. A guy asked me if our church believes that Jesus was married, and I said "No, I don't think so"...and it really offended this other girl, who has since quit. A couple days later, somebody at church said that the church's stance is that "We just don't know." I hope somebody can correct my mistake, or that I can get a chance to talk to the girl again to tell her that I was wrong.

Members Responsibilities The Work Place

My personal opinion is that if the girl was offended by such an innocent mistake, she was looking to be offended. In my experience such people have had a previous unpleasant experience with the church, and are looking to validate their resentful feelings toward it. Actually, "I don't think so" is not that off base, as it expresses your opinion and leaves room for error. I do understand how you feel because I've had similar experiences. For myself, I've learned to say, "I'm not sure but I'll find out for you", unless I positively know the answer.

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Peeper,
I understand your frustration and concern with your husband's conflict at work, and why you went to the bishop. Conflict is not Compartmentalized, in that it does not stay at on area of our lives, but spills over to all aspects of our relationships. Especially when so much of our lives are connected like work and church in your case. This work conflict has spilled into your marriage I.e. your husbands actions at home and talking about it with you, and it has spilled into church and involving a bishop. It's hard for people (myself included) to separate conflicts from one aspect of lives, from others. How one handles conflict is very subjective and is based on one's perception of the parties involved, context, environment, education, life experience, culture, power, and tools available. Since all four parties involved are LDS: yourself, your husband, and the owner, the conflict can easily spill into other parts of your relationships I.e. church. it is easy for the conflict to overflow into the area of church since church is part of all the parties relationships. (I would assume that the conflict has now some to do with church to some extent as well.) It is hard sometimes to separate our identities and roles in life. For example if one has authority as a church leader, but is employed by a member who he has ecclesiastical authority over, it can cause problems. In your husband's case, perhaps "x" is having problems keeping his church authority and calling separate from his job status?

So where do you go to resolve this issue? I do not think that talking to the a stake Presidency is out of line, because more then likely (and I am making an assumption here) this conflict has brought church into the mix. In the early church bishops and stake presidents were used quite frequently to resolve concerns outside of church because members were connected in other areas other then church like work. It was hard to separate church from work in Nauvoo per say.

But the question I would ask myself in self-reflection would be where do I draw the distinction between church and work in the conflict? Also what kind of relationship do I need and want to have with "x". This relationship is more then a work relationship because it deals with church so that brings in a lot of other considerations into your resolution. If I were in such a hard position, I would consider deeply what kind of relationship with "x" could I live with? Can I live with a relationship that is contentious, then my actions or response would be more extreme, if I needed a relationship that demanded us to work together in close approximation with each other, I would perhaps seek a mediated solution. Mediation is a great way to go and perhaps a stake president can offer that since both are LDS.
Also do not forget your employer as a dispute resolver. Perhaps your husband feels that he would not be fair because of his boss and "X"'s relation. But remember an employer has interests as well- to run a profitable business, and conflict can become an obstacle to his goal. I hope things work out for you.