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No Divorcees?

I have heard some single people say that they would not date a divorcee, because they would have an unfair advantage in the divorcee already experiencing marriage or that if they failed once it might happen again. The later I think is unfair since a broken marriage may be the result of one spouse being unfaithful or abusive. As a single individual looking, what is your point of view on the matter?

Divorcees No

When looking for "The One," the fact that somebody had been divorced was an immediate red flag. It wouldn't necessarily mean I wouldn't be interested, but many divorces I have seen have come about because of immaturity by BOTH parties. Therefore, I would have to find out the circumstances of the divorce before committing to a serious relationship that might lead to marriage. Even if the divorce wasn't her fault - for example, if she was abused - I would have to ask her and myself some serious questions. How is she handling those painful memories? Will I function as her psychological crutch for the rest of my life? Has she seen a counselor? In reality, some people deal with it OK, and some people are seriously scarred for life.

These questions are not meant to be mean to anyone divorced - they are meant to be fair and honest. If I am not able, willing, or prepared to deal with the baggage from someone's past marriage, she would not be happy married to me, and that marriage would be neither equal nor fair. Similarly, if she was unwilling or unable to be patient and help me deal with my disappointment about not being her first, I would have a hard time from the outset in that relationship. Perhaps my biggest stumbling-block in that situation would be the nagging feeling that she would always compare me to her first husband. I would have similar difficulties with somebody who had been in previous relationships with sexual activity.

The answer, then, is yes, I would have been willing to date a divorcee, but I would not have stepped into a serious relationship lightly.