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Close Topic OptionsIs Mental Illness A Sin? - Page 3 of 4
I found the following information in lds.org - Page 3 - Mormon Doctrine Studies - Posted: 15th Apr, 2007 - 8:22pm
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Is Mental Illness A Sin? - Page 3
| QUOTE (FarSeer) |
| ...she allows him to insult her |
Allow? Remember we are talking about the mentally ill here, and in this case it is her son, her flesh and blood. Many times she tried to get him committed or take special medication but either the hospital won't accept him or he will not take his meds... what is she to do? This situation is actually more common than you think. Keeping a frame a mind that allows you to be peaceful while someone is 'poking you with a pin' is by no means easy. Within my own family and situation you have to actually switch off / ignore in order to survive, but that is not always possible, because when you do the taunts are more or heightened to get your attention. I guess people can only understand if they actually have to live with someone who is mentally aggressive as opposed to just mentally challenged.
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Post Date: 3rd Apr, 2007 - 5:04pm / Post ID: #
Sin Illness Mental Is
JB, the situation you describe would definitely be difficult. I think it would probably be a challenge and struggle for any of us. However, the Savior's teachings gives us a lot of insight about how we should behave in this situation. For example, Matthew 5:43-48:
| QUOTE |
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. |
Loving enemies, turning the other cheek, praying for those who heap burdens upon us--none of that sounds very fun or fair when you look at it from the perspective of the natural man, but it starts to make more sense when you try to view things from God's eyes--which we must eventually be able to do if we want to become like Him.
Is Mental Illness A Sin? Studies Doctrine Mormon
Tonberry, that is "nice", but in the woman's case her son is not an enemy and she DOES love him, in fact this woman has gone over backwards for him - to the point of being kicked out of her home! It is because she loves him she does it, but like I said, his taunts are enormous - she tries to hide from him, but sometimes he finds her. For me I believe this woman has a lot of mercy on her side. I believe the Lord judges the WHOLE of a situation and not merely parts of it like men do.
Page 3 Sin Illness Mental Is
Let me also add that the son of this sister, threatened her more than once to kill her. She really loves him and put up with a lot of things he says and does because she knows is her son and is not his fault.
The saddest part about this is that he wasn't always like that, he was married and had a family. Then it seems like he went through a period of time (when he was away) where he just became mentally ill.
Even though I fully understand she is responsible for how she reacts towards him and the things he says and does, I think the Lord will judge accordingly to the circumstances, until a person is in those shoes they cannot really know what it is like to cope with someone who is mentally ill and who is constantly teasing you, torturing you mentally, physically and threatening you to end your life and at the end that person is someone you gave birth to...your dear son.
We know exactly what we are supposed to do with regards of loving one another and giving the other cheek, but those people who cope with the challenge of living with someone who does these things yet they are not responsible for it, suffer a lot of pain, depression and yes...they do react and say things they should not (as this lady does) but I feel compassion towards them not only because they try their best to give their loved ones the love and respect they deserve but because in my little experience with having a child with special needs I know nobody can really understand what you go through and every day is a new start. You get up one morning and say "Today, I am going to try very hard to not shout at my son if he is taunting me" and you try...you try REAL hard and sometimes you just can't take it and you DO shout at him and when you see him at night laying down on bed, you feel like a piece of old shoe because you KNOW is NOT his fault and you have failed that day in accomplishing your goal.
Every single day is a new start for someone who has to cope with these challenges, it is not always white or black, it is not always about a scripture passage, is about constant prayer, 24/7 patience, long suffering, compassion (towards your loved one) and forgiveness. Because you do need to forgive yourself when sometimes you fail and feel to give up.
Just my two cents.
Sin Illness Mental Is
| QUOTE (JB) | ||
Allow? Remember we are talking about the mentally ill here, and in this case it is her son, her flesh and blood |
Yes, "allow," and because it's her son. You said in the previous post, she ignores it until she can't stand it anymore and then she reacts quite harshly. Ignoring, taking no action, is the same as allowing the behavior. And mentally ill or not, he's not stupid; he knows he can push her and push her and push her and push her before she reacts - and then when she does, he backs off for a while, right? Let's her calm down before it starts all over again.
I'm not judging or condemning her or her son, I'm just stating what I see in the cicumstances. I can't even imagine being in the same situation. It just seems so tragic to be taunted and haunted by your own child (no matter how grown up they get we still see them as children).
Is Mental Illness A Sin?
| QUOTE (FarSeer) |
| Ignoring, taking no action, is the same as allowing the behavior. |
I do not agree, in many cases there are MANY times and things in which you have to ignore because the person is mentally ill. I already qualified her attempts to do something about it when I said:
| QUOTE (JB (Emphasis added)) |
| Many times she tried to get him committed or take special medication but either the hospital won't accept him or he will not take his meds... what is she to do? |
In the Mature Board we list one scenario of a person that is mentally ill and what we had to go through with that... my reaction maybe considered harsh (even a sin), but I saw it as protecting my family. Again, you really cannot know unless you live day after day after day with it. Just watching from the outside is by no means the same.
Is Mental Illness Sin - Page 3
In the end, I think that no matter how much taunting goes on the "healthy" individual is solely responsible for his/her reaction towards the mentally ill individual, justifying aggressive behavior towards your own mentally ill son is not much different from a guy beating up or verbally abusing his wife or kids and saying "they made me do it because...." We can always find an excuse for our behavior.
Yes, it is understandable why someone would react in the way they do but it does not make the sin any less. Any sin is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord and I can well imagine how he could feel about those sinning against people who are helpless because they are mentally ill.
Controlling your temper when provoked, it's the real test of self-mastery.
Elder Alexander B. Morrison First Quorum of the Seventy (Emeritus) who has a daughter with mental illness said the following:
| QUOTE |
| If family members ridicule, demean, criticize, or abandon the sufferer; if they go on and on about supposed (and usually false) sin and blame, I guarantee the patient will not do well. But if they love and enfold; if they are kind, compassionate, and empathetic, if they refuse to judge, then therapy exerts its full beneficial effects. Family members soon learn that developing and unfailingly demonstrating patience is a large part of love and compassion. Remember that no one with mental illness wants to be that way. People are not mentally ill because they lack willpower. They cannot, through any exercise of will, get out of the predicament they are in. To lose patience with them, to advise them to "just snap out of it" and "get a little backbone," is not only insensitive, but futile. Our unconditional love and patient attention, along with prayers asking the Lord's guidance about what to do and say to our distressed loved one or friend, can also help the mentally ill person glimpse hope. In conclusion, we can help those suffering from mental illness in many ways. Perhaps the most important involve love and patience, as well as understanding that the mental illness is not the patient's fault, not the result of sin, and cannot be overcome by an act of will. Like a person recovering from a serious physical illness, a patient with mental illness may need a long time to recover, may have relapses, and may continue to experience some effects of the illness even after acute symptoms are gone. Learning all we can about the illness will increase our compassion, enhance our abilities to respond appropriately to those who suffer, and help all to develop faith and hope for a brighter tomorrow. |
Is Mental Illness Sin Mormon Doctrine Studies - Page 3
I found the following information in lds.org and it explains exactly how parents with children with mental illnesses feel but most people don't know:
| QUOTE |
| 1. Guilt and sorrow. "We often hear that if we attend the temple, read the scriptures, pray, and have family home evening, we will have peace in our homes. We are doing all these things, and I know that they are important and that we are blessed for doing them, yet we do not have peace. I have spent most of my life as a mother crying." 2. Isolation. "Sometimes when my son has caused a problem in the neighborhood, I sit in my house waiting for my neighbors to come to my door to complain. I feel barricaded in my home. I don't want to answer the phone or the door." "People don't really say it," another parent notes. "But more and more they seem to feel that we are bad people. They don't want their children associating with our child." 3. Marital distress. "My husband doesn't want to admit that our son has a serious problem. He will not talk about it or let me talk to our son's teachers. He says if I could just treat our son differently, he would not have behavior problems." 4. Family distress. "Our son's problems are ripping our family apart at the seams. I once asked our daughter to leave the house when our son was becoming violent. "Mom, where should I go?" she asked. "What should I tell the neighbors?" " "After paying for several hospitalizations, we are financially, as well as emotionally, bankrupt." 5. Feeling judged. "My daughter's behavior has improved since being on medication. But a neighbor of mine disapproves, and she clips every newspaper article about the dangers of this medication and brings them to me." "My daughter looks normal and can act sweet. One good friend in our ward said, "If you would only treat her as you do your other children, I think she wouldn't have these problems." " 6. Constant stress. "Our daughter sometimes makes improvements, but I can never get excited about it. It always blows up in my face. I feel like a rubber band." "One day our son started beating his sister because she was in "his" sandbox. When I tried to pull him off her, he threw a lawn sprinkler at me. I can't tell you how draining this is." 7. No respite. "Some of these behavior problems don't get better as children get older. Summertime is very difficult because our son is at home all the time. My husband works at night. I have no respite from constant stress." "I love my child, and I will not give up. I may not do everything right, but I will never give up." |
https://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menu...a____&hideNav=1
How would a compassionate community of brothers and sisters in the gospel respond to children with serious behavior problems and their families?
| QUOTE |
| 1. Suspend judgment. Remember that behavior disorders can happen in any family and that they may be caused by factors out of our control. Elder Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve taught: "There is little room for feelings of guilt in connection with handicaps. Some handicaps may result from carelessness or abuse, and some through addiction of parents. But most of them do not. Afflictions come to the innocent" (Ensign, May 1991, p. 8). "Before we had two children with behavior disorders, I would probably have looked with judging eyes at someone whose children were misbehaving in church," says one mother. "Now, if I see someone with behavior problems, I wonder what that person's story is." 2. Children of God. Remember that children with behavior problems are children of our Heavenly Father first and foremost. One mother relates, "The key for me is to try to imagine what my son is really like spiritually. I want my son to have a testimony, and I want him to learn how to have a friend. I pray in faith, "Help me to know how to help him do these things." " 3. Be a caring adult friend to a child with behavior problems. These children usually do not have friends. Take a child on an errand with you. Let him come to your home to help with a task. If you teach a class with a child who has serious behavior problems, pray about him and learn techniques that will help him. If you are the parent of a child with a behavior problem, don't wait for someone to notice that your child needs special help. Pray about the matter and ask an adult to be a caring friend for your child. 4. Ask the parents of a child with a behavior disorder to help you find ways to include the child in class or group activities. One mother describes a Young Women 'secret sister" project as one of the highlights of her daughter's life. 5. Offer to help the parents. They often desperately need respite from caring for their children. 6. Learn positive techniques for dealing with misbehavior. One such technique is described in the sidebar "Tips for Teaching Children with Behavior Disorders." Remember that criticism and physical punishment are not helpful in the long run. Speak to the child in a calm, pleasant voice. Avoid insulting remarks, accusations, and blaming statements. |
TOPIC: Is Mental Illness A Sin?