How do you feel about becoming a grandmother? The standard American symbol for a grandmother is a grayhaired, chubby or sometimes skinny old woman with spectacles, usually with her hair up in a bun, wearing a dress, and sporting an apron. Always ready to bake cookies and babysit.
Do you want your grandkids to call you "grandma"? Or is there another name you prefer, or that might be traditional in your family? My mother hated the idea of becoming a grandmother at 45, and insisted that our kids call her "granny." When my daughter was born, Mom said to me, "Don't expect us to babysit."
Here's an article about modern grandmother angst:
https://lifestyle.msn.com/FamilyandParentin...165003>1=7608
QUOTE |
I knew I had a problem with the granny thing when it took me two years to find a name I could stand. It had to allow my 2-year-old granddaughter, Ryan, and her baby sister, Maggie, to claim me as their grandmother, as the person ready to open her fridge, her wallet, her house, and her heart to them. But it had to do this without giving me -- or anybody else -- the idea that I was old enough to be anybody's grandmother.... Look, I'd love to nip over and whisper secrets into 1-month-old Maggie's ears, or to dress 2-year-old Ryan in the black leather jacket I bought her recently and take her to look for late blackberries in Golden Gate Park on my bike (with its deluxe new kid seat). But I have a job. I'm a reporter, I have two books to write, a husband who wants to go to France, and I just bought an investment property in Portland, Oregon. I love my grandchildren, but being a grandmother got added to my to-do list. The truth is, I can't be the kind of grandmother my own grandmother was -- available and self-sacrificing, always arriving in her red VW with her overnight bag to help Mom. I wasn't a stay-at-home mom, and I can't be a stay-at-home-grandma either.... |
Even though the topic seems geared towards females, I will lend a male perspective. I am 28 and my daughter is 11. Which makes it highly possible that I could be a grandfather in my 40's. I have to say that honestly I am looking forward to being a grandparent, so long as my children are responsible parents, and are not looking to me and my wife as automatic 'babysitters'. We don't do that with our parents, and I would expect the same from my children.
As for what I'd liked to be called, I am not preferential. My son calls all his grandparents 'papa', because that is the word he associates with them. I'm not going to force my grandchildren to address me by a certain name, so long as they are respectful towards me, and their parents. FarSeer, sorry to hijack the thread from a male angle!
My kids mix it up with both grandmothers. My mother goes by grandma, my mother-in-law goes by mamu. The names developed naturally, passing from one child to the next. In my mother-in-laws case, her oldest grandchild started the mamu, so it just stuck with the rest of the kids as well.
When I was being brought up, I had two Grandmas, when I had my eldest son, my Grandmas were still alive, so my mum and my husbands mum both became known as Nana. We decided so as not to get our son mixed up with my Grandmas being my Grandmas, but also as his great- Grandmas, we decided to just let him call them Grandmas (and drop the Great)
One of my Grandmas died 6 years ago aged 95, so unfortunately she never knew my two youngest children, but my other Grandma is still alive and well, at the grand old age of 105! (nearly 106)She is actually a Victorian, as she was born whilst Queen Victoria was ruling England!
I think it's great that my children can have some input from a relative from this era!
QUOTE (FarSeer @ 29-Jan 06, 10:13 AM) |
My mother hated the idea of becoming a grandmother at 45, and insisted that our kids call her "granny." |
I don't understand this way of thinking at all. If someone is too young to be a grandma, then she won't be a grandma. To me it exemplifies the obsession with youth in the USA. I'm not sure what it's like in other countries, but here in USA some people are so obsessed with staying young, they are getting plastic surgery in their twenties. To withhold love or attention from a grandchild just because of a need to stay young seems very selfish.