I'll make a long story very short. My second wife fits every word of the description. She alienated her children, her father, and finally me. After two miserable years of trying to make the marriage work, our councilor told me to , "Give it up."
Name: Alex
Comments: I think that the majority of the people in my high school are attention seekers. I was standing in line with one of my good guy friends, just chatting about global warming when one of my other guy friends budges in front of everyone else in the food line to talk to me. Literally every single day, he complains about how badly his feet hurt because he has to walk a mile to work. He must be exaggerating, because I have to walk about a mile to get to the library almost every day. He sticks his nose into random strangers conversations and will say a lot of really rude things just to make them angry. I asked him to repeat something that he said, today, and he yelled so loudly what I hadn't heard him say to me that several people in the cafeteria stared at him. Some of them gave us dirty looks. It's getting really difficult to be his friend. I try to be understanding of his actions. He said that he has a mild case of Tourettes, but I think he's just being a jerk. He doesn't twitch like he has Tourettes, and he does lie a lot. How do you get an attention seeker to leave you alone?
P.S. - There are also a lot of girls in my school who will go as far as cutting themselves or threatening to kill themselves, all in the name of attention. How would you go about telling such mentally unstable liars to stop being so over-dramatic? Should I just turn them all into the nurse? This is getting so ridiculous. There are actual people out there who do have real problems, and they're a total insult to those poor human beings. It makes me sick. One of my friends even fakes anorexia and bulimia. She tells people that she has it, and she laughs while talking about it. It seems like she lies about her whole life! It's disgusting! How can I stop their ridiculous behavior?
Name: P
Comments: I am currently in a situation at work where I have fallen in love with a colleague of mine. However, she is the most manipulative woman that I have ever met. I believe that it's down to her own insecurities. She goes out of her way to flirt with me constantly and then if I show any interest in her she completely closes up and turns cold towards me as if to say 'job done, he still likes me.' My friends tell me to forget about her but it's difficult when I have to work with her everyday. The problem is I have fallen for her and she is really attractive and I do not know how to get out of it. Any advice on how to deal with a woman like this?
P, if she is that manipulative and it's obvious she is just playing with you...Why are you even bothering with a woman like that? She is a loser! This is TYPICAL of some women, you're wasting your time. She obviously like herself way too much and thinks you're crazy about her. Just ignore her completely no matter how much she flirts with you, she will go nuts! But consistency is the key. Do me a favor and find a woman who DO care about you as a person.
Good luck!
LDS
Name: Jane
Comments: The organiser: she may present herself as the one in charge, the one organising everything, the one who is reliable and dependable, the one people can always turn to. However, the objective is not to help people (this is only a means to an end) but to always be the centre of attention.
The busy bee: this individual is the busiest person in the world if her constant retelling of her life is to be believed. Everyday events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and commiserate with this oh-so-busy person who never has a moment to herself, never has time to sit down, etc. She's never too busy, though, to tell you how busy she is.
My co worker is both of the above. I find being in her company tiring and irritating.
She is a woman of 50 odd, married with two twenty something children and one teenager. The teenager is still at home. She comes from a big family so probably felt she had to shout over the others for attention as a child. She married well, to a kind, reliable, high earning, and reliable, good man. They own their home outright and have set their eldest two up with a mortgage for their own shared apartment. My co worker is an intelligent, capable woman. She can be, indeed often is, helpful and pleasant.
Myself, I am what you would call an introvert, though I am happy interacting with every other member of staff here. It's just this one whose character seems to clash with mine. I have been looking for advice on how to approach the situation, how to deal with her, recently. I approached the matter firstly with a "what's wrong with ME?" point of view at first, but now realise it ain't all me!
I just try to avoid her as much as I can, whilst trying to not actually be rude, and when I do have to interact, keep it short.
As I said, I"m an introvert, happy to read a book rather than go out socialising. I find too much social interaction tiring, and to be honest, perhaps once I"m tired of a certain social gathering, e.g. A social tea break at work during the day, when they just don't know when to stop, when we"ve all said quite enough and are finding it difficult to find anything interesting to say anyway, I may become irritable. In such circumstances I have become reluctant to be 'the one" who first stands up and excuses herself to go back to work. This is because there is a definite atmosphere which transpires in response to this which conveys a "What, you don't want to talk with us anymore? Are we not good enough for you?" kind of feeling. Often, 'tea breaks" go on for over an hour because of this. Surely when the topics of conversation drop to what you had to eat for your dinner last night (for the fifth time this week), including descriptions of the cooking process, well, it's time to call it a day, right? I am also a private person. Up until the last year or so, I would certainly tell co workers what I"d been up to at the weekend or on holiday etc. I stopped because I felt they were being insincere and repetitive in their inquiries. They don't ask because they are interested in me as a person. They ask so they can be seen to have something to say, to "be sociable". In particular, when I told of problems I had, they ridiculed my situation for their entertainment. It was a serious matter to me. I now feel every inquiry is another attempt to find fuel for their gossipy gatherings. When I say their and they, bear in mind that she is of course the most influential person in the group. Leader of the pack, if you like. I regard these 'tea breaks" now with dread and try to avoid them. I know however that I can't avoid too many as I would then be colluding with them in portraying myself as the outsider. I repeat: I get on perfectly well with others, when she ain't there.
I like my job, the actual work, very well. I like my mind to be occupied with a problem to solve, that sort of thing. Perhaps I over analyze sometimes. During my own formative years I was happy to play alone or with playmates. I didn't feel insecure or ignored by my parents. I don't remember feeling I had to scream for attention. I only have one sibling.
So, it would appear this is just a terrible personality clash! Perhaps if given another list, my co worker could pick out types which I fit into and complain about me!
As I now understand her behaviour to be rooted in what you term emotional insecurity, I can now try to approach her saying things which will play in to her apparent needs. Perhaps I should nonchalantly say things which would infer she is a good organiser, very busy etc, in front of others, of course!
Name: Jane
Comments: It would be really nice if someone acknowledged me here. There really isn't anyone I can talk with properly about this. I'm feeling more and more isolated in my work situation. She's now poisoning others' minds against me sneakily behind my back. People I got on fine with are now avoiding me, or looking at me as though I was some weird alien retard they don't know what to do with. I like my job. I did the personality test thing, linked to one of the other pages, and I'm an INTJ. I'm going mad surrounded by incessantly happy-clappy people, who always have to be excited about everything. I am not humourless, but the more I feel backed into a corner, the less jokey I feel. HELP!
Jane, you will be better acknowledged if you actually Registered and joined, you will also be notified of replies when someone responds. Concerning the Topic these types (Attention Seekers) are very difficult to deal with, but what I find often works for me is two things: ignore and wait. Attention Seekers usually want so much focus on themselves that they end up doing something that shows those who they try to influence how self centered they are. The ignore part renders them powerless too - they really hate that. Fighting with them just gives them what they want - attention.