Are you easily offended? You may reply that it depends on what "easily" means to me. Well, do you feel that sometimes you cannot be told anything? Do you or a loved one get offended if someone you do not care about or who is a complete stranger challenges something you say? Does people around you consider you "thin-skinned" or "too sensitive"? What do you think is the reason behind your behavior?. Many times, I have wondered why there are some people that just get offended of the smallest things and not only once but over and over...they seem to live or look to be offended, that's their nature. If you are in a group and make a comment in general, they always take it personally and they get offended. People around do notice it and they are afraid to say what they think or feel because they are "too sensitive" and may "offend" them. Taking in consideration that nobody wants to hurt anyone on purpose, how do you cope with the Highly Sensitive Person? Do you think it is good to be walking on egg shells all the time or limit your opinions or feelings so you do not offend the person even if you are not talking directly to the person? What's your tactic?
I think that when it comes to certain aspects of my life I can be very thin-skinned, but not as a whole. When I have worked on a project for a very long time and someone picks it apart without caring about my feelings, then I will get very sensitive and emotional. Usually, however I can keep a very cool head and try to comfort others who wear their emotions very close to the surface.
I do know some people that I have to tack "I am not being sarcastic" or something like that, onto the end of my sentences. I just remind myself that these are not the people that I would joke around with as I would my good mates.
QUOTE |
I just remind myself that these are not the people that I would joke around with as I would my good mates |
I am definitely not highly sensitive in general, except at rare bad times with the people who know me best. I suppose those who know us best know what buttons to push.
As far as dealing with the oversensitive, my biggest rule is not to take sides. I will make logical observations, but I hardly ever directly confront or defend the person, or others with whom the person is upset. I make it clear from the start in my dealings with people that I speak my mind, but that I want to be fair and accurate, and so many of those who have become my friends are those who could be considered "oversensitive," and yet I can talk candidly with them, because they know that my opinions are never personal attacks. To be uncomfortable, indecisive, or artificially weak around sensitive people only gives them control of your interactions, and makes you put on a false face. Perhaps most sensitive people are sensitive because they are accustomed to people being dishonest with them. Forthrightness with love is a winning combination.
I don't consider myself thin skinned, but probably this is because my husband is very outspoken, he believes in speaking his mind, and as he points out to me, people don't need to wonder what he thinks about them, because they already know
I just call him 'Mr Tactless', although I should point out he isn't malicious in any way shape or form, it's just the way he is, whereas, I always at least try to think about what I'm saying to people in case somebody is really over-sensitive. *smiles*.
I'm not easily offended. In fact, I've often thought of myself as too thick-skinned to the point of being dense if someone is trying to insult me. That's because I always try to give others the benefit of the doubt. Why assume I am being insulted, if I'm not sure? Even if I am (being insulted), what do I care? Everyone has a right to their opinion. As far as dealing with the thin-skinned, not being that way myself I've often said something that is unintentionally offensive. I try to immediately apologize, or make my meaning clear, because I hate to hurt anyone's feelings, intentional or not.
QUOTE |
Do you think it is good to be walking on egg shells all the time or limit your opinions or feelings so you do not offend the person even if you are not talking directly to the person? |
In my opinion, "Thin Skinned" is just another way for a person seeking attention to get it until it happens too many times. When they have, "shown their colors" I write them off as an attention seeker.
I generally believe that everyone has a tolerance level, but when basic communication is considered offensive then that person is definitely thin-skinned and Mousetrails could not have said it any better, because that is what I do 'write them off' or totally ignore them.
Offtopic but, I always tell my wife there are three types of people I absolutely will not deal with: a mental person, an ignorant person and a thin-skinned person. |