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Does He Love Me

Does He Love Me


My husband and I have been together for 28 years, married for 21. Throughout our relationship he has been a binge drinker with some mild to intense mood swings. The last ten years of our marriage it became apparent that things were not going well for us. He was finishing up the last three years of his military career and seemed to be drinking more often. We did seek therapy but he walked out when his drinking became part of the conversation. He retired from the military in 07, we moved to a new state and he started a job he hated. He became increasingly agitated and angry, very depressed, often losing control and yelling. He did finally agree to therapy, as his moods were getting worse. He has since been to several different therapists, been on multiple medications, and fluctuating his moods from upbeat to angry and hostile. Most recent he was told he may have a mood disorder and given Abilify. He is now angry and agitated with me. He is telling me he hasn't loved me in ten years and wants to leave. I am devastated and believe that his feelings for me are actually a problem with his illness as he is very loving and very much into me when his moods are on the up. I just don't know what to do. I feel he is bipolar and his lack of feelings for me are associated with that but I can't get him to see this. Am I right in this or could it be true that he really has lost those feelings Please help me understand....
Source: Mental Help Net Questions and Answers

Me Love Does

Well, your husband has a substance abuse problem that needs to be dealt with but it's a choice that only he can make, if he doesn't want to receive help, there is nothing you can do. Whether he loves you or not, I cannot say however, in circumstances such as these with chronic and high levels of stress, a marriage cannot be properly nurtured, so it is very well possible that feelings can fade away.