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Programmer's Jokes

Sometimes computer geeks get bored while coding and come up with something like this:

What are some of the crazy codes you have seen around the net?

Note: use the [code] tags to show the code.

Jokes Programmers

For those of us who are computer savvy... we use Smooth Talker 1.01 to over come problems with the Wife 1.0 OS. Unfortunately... over use of this program will cause Wife 1.0 to automatically upgrade to Wife 1.1, and Smooth Talker 1.01 will not work with this version.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Golf 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"to alleviate software augmentation

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Pay the Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Programmer's Jokes Games Forum & Humor Jokes

Dear Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Desperate
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Dear Desperate,

Unfortunately, the technical problems you raise often come with the system purchased. Evidently you did not look around at similar systems or read the fine print prior to making your purchase. Many in your situation try quick solutions, immediately try to replace Husband 1.0 with GuyOnTheSide 1.0, are driven to drink, or in total frustration simply trash the current system. Husband 1.0 can only be uninstalled with a very expensive and time-consuming program called SleazyLawyerPro, and can only lead to further aggravation. Your best option is to keep Husband 1.0 and learn to keep it running smoothly.

Husband 1.0 comes with some terrific support programs called Handyman 2.5, CritterGitter 3.0, and Breadwinner 1.5. Overuse of Nagging 5.3 may cause Husband 1.0 to run a background application, Stonewall 2.1 (also known as "Yes Dear"), which often triggers a deadly system destroyer called SecretAffair 1.0. Rather than Nagging 5.3, try another freeware tool called Patience 2.5. There are times the system will right itself if you simply wait long enough. And, trust me, you will never know why. I know the system you selected does not include that in the instruction manual, but it is a trick I have learned over the years.

Two other simple-to-use programs which complement Husband 1.0 (and disable Stonewall 2.1) are Passion 7.0 and a tiny, but effective, program called Lingerie 3.5 (you may need to run StairMaster 4.0 for several weeks first). But be careful - these tend to overheat the system if used too often, and should not be run concurrently with NBA 3.0 or NFL 5.0. In addition, Passion 7.0 often leads to Childbearing 1.0 installing unexpectedly.

When upgrading, you must remember to first uninstall FoolishPride 3.1. So if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. With proper care and maintenance, Husband 1.0 can, over time, become a source of joy and stability.

Best of Luck,
Tech support

Jokes Programmers

I hope you understand code FarSeer:

Jokes Programmers

I don't know if this qualifies as a programmer's joke. Maybe it's more of a mathematician's joke

Proof That Girls Are Evil

First, we state that girls require time and money:

Girls = Time X Money

And, as we all know, 'time is money":

Time = Money


Therefore:

Girls = Money X Money = (Money)2

And because "money is the root of all evil":

Money = √Evil

Therefore:

Girls = (√Evil)2


And we are forced to conclude that:

Girls = Evil

Programmer's Jokes

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.