Close Topic Options

The Ten Commandments For Parents

The Ten Commandments for Parents of Special Needs Children

1. Take one day at a time, and take that day positively. You don't have control over the future, but you do have control over today.

2. Never underestimate your child's potential. Allow him, encourage him, expect him to develop to the best of his abilities.

3. Find and allow positive mentors: parents and professionals who can share with you their experience, advice, and support.

4. Provide and be involved with the most appropriate educational and learning environments for your child from infancy on.

5. Keep in mind the feelings and needs of your spouse and your other children. Remind them that this child does not get more of your love just because he gets more of your time.

6. Answer only to your conscience: then you'll be able to answer to your child. You need not justify your actions to your friends or the public.

7. Be honest with your feelings. You can't be a super-parent 24 hours a day. Allow yourself jealousy, anger, pity, frustration, and depression in small amounts whenever necessary.

8. Be kind to yourself. Don't focus continually on what needs to be done. Remember to look at what you have accomplished.

9. Stop and smell the roses. Take advantage of the fact that you have gained a special appreciation for the little miracles in life that others take for granted.

10. Keep and use a sense of humor. Cracking up with laughter can keep you from cracking up from stress.

-- Author Unknown

Parents Commandments Ten The

I can relate to everyone of those, especially #1 which is hard to find, #6 where people always think they have the answer for you and #10, where sometimes you really do just have to laugh or you will go insane!

The Ten Commandments For Parents Health & Special Psychology

This is so true! I am trying my best #2 since kids with special abilities do not feel self-confident and the word "can't" is always in their vocabulary.

Parents Commandments Ten The

Whereas I will not challenge the wisdom of the author of those commandments per say I don't totally agree with the first one at the end. We do not have control over today either. The only thing that you have some control over is your reaction to a situation and we know at times we lose that control too. All the other things I more or less agree with. Remember too that the child didn't chose to be here, you did that for him/her.

Parents Commandments Ten The

I believe you are correct and I suppose that is what is meant because it does say first:

The Ten Commandments For Parents

I too can relate to everyone of these, in part or in whole.

and

Sometimes it has to be even one hour, or one minute at a time. Sometimes even one breath at a time and only then with the help of the Lord.

There is a fine line between allowing them the freedom to make the best of themselves and helping them be safe as they grow to be adults.

As I allowed and encouraged my special needs daughter to get a job she could do (with help from professionals and mentors), learn to ride the buses to get herself to and from work, and dealing with people around her in these processes, I could not know always what the effects or results would be. She became acquainted with a fellow on the bus. They began doing fun activities together like rollerblading, going to the park; thing I felt were good and OK. I got to know him as best I could too (I thought.) It was a huge thing when they wanted to get married. She was physically 22 and emotionally more like 13. I had never legally made any statement about her special needs or competency and didn't feel like this was the time to do so. If I did it then it would be a great big hassle or even maybe a big fight to get it done. I also at the time did not have the budget necessary to get an attorney and the doctor/psychological testing done that would be needed to establish it legally.

With in six months of them getting married they moved out of town, not wanting contact with us except when they initiated it. They were gone for a year and I had contact with my daughter 3 times that year when she called me from a borrowed phone that we were not allowed to call back to without losing all contact.
It is so hard sometimes to know what is the right thing to do. Even when you are doing the best you can.

Message Edited...
Persephone: Please look at how we use the Quote Tags here. When you do not use these tags source material that is not your own may appear to be yours when it is not. See our Constructive Posting Policy.

The Ten Commandments Parents

I'm not a parent yet but just from observing my own parents and a couple of others I can tell you that one of the best things you can do for your children is to be their friend without judging them constantly. Parents need to have children on the right path yes, but they also need to make them feel that they can go to back to the parent without being put down if they drift from the path. This is so important.

The Ten Commandments Parents Psychology Special & Health

I think that these points are pretty much all true, you can only do the best that you can do, and enjoy learning as you and your child 'travel along' through life
Keeping calm and keeping your humor are major points too !