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Do You Think This Is Right And An Adoption Ring?

Hello I had my daughter taken 6 months ago for medical neglect and injurious enviroment. My daughter was healthy, upto date on her immunizations, she went to the doctors for all of her well child check ups, when she was sick, and for her shots. My house was cluttered with clothes that needed to be folded and with her toys. My soon-to-be mother inlaw and I were at the doctors office when she was taken ( march 3, 2006). She had a rash because I thought it was an allergic reaction to her medication that she was given, she had an allergic reaction to amoxicillin before and the medication that they gave her was apart of the cillin family, it did not have the word cillin in it but I looked it up in my fiancee's drug book for nurses and it said that it was part of the cillin family so I took her to the doctors office and they seen the rash, they were in the process of writing another perscription when social services came in and took her. I was in a struggle to get whatever was out of her nose that was making her smell bad. we had been to the doctors office three times, childrens hospital four times and another hospital once. childrens hospital gave me the run around saying that they didn't see anything they didn't bother paging a ear nose and throat doctor, the last visit they just gave me the medication I was talking about and said that she had a sinus infection. I felt stuck because I was told that childrens hospital was the only place that could take whatever was in her nose out because they had the tools nessesary to do so.

I went to court for the first time and the judge asked social services what their reason(s) for taking her were and they looked at each other for approximately 1 minute before they said parenting skills, now they are back to the medical neglect and injurious enviroment.

Since then I have had supervised visits with her, I have had to go to therapy, drug and alchohol evlautations, a drug test because they didn't believe that I don't use drugs, I visit with a parenting specialist, I have to see a lifeskills worker, I am in college for medical assisting, I had a job for awhile while in school ( had to quit job I was falling asleep in class).

I have been doing everything they ask me to and they still want to terminate my parental rights and give her up for adoption. They have asked me to get her birth certificate, but I am not going to.

They keep telling me to just let my ex's father have her and that my rights wont be taken away and that I can still see her, I told them once and I have to keep telling them that I am not going to give up without a fight.

The parenting specialist keeps saying that she assumes my daughter is acting the way she does after the visits ( acting out, gorging her food, ect.) because she is going back to the same behavior as she had when she was in my care. I have told her that my daughter ( Mercedes) never did any of this stuff she is telling me when she was with me, but she is sticking to what she assumes. She says that mercedes never had a schedule when living with me and I said yes she did and I wrote it out for her.

They have my daughter in occupational therapy and speech therapy. She is only two and they want her to speak in full sentences like us adults speak, I have asked all of her pediatricians if she was behind on her speech every time we went for a well child check and they all said that she was normal in her age range.

They say that she only knew four words when they placed her in a foster home, but she knew more then twenty.

They are just adding up lies after lies and I am tired of it. The parenting specialist said that the way she acts out is because she is stressed out, my question is then why isn't she stressed out during the visit?

She also says that she really isn't bonded with me and never really was, she never trusted me, and that the way she can tell that she wants to be with me and doesn't want to go is if mercedes was to cling to me and have a hard time letting go, and her acting out after a visit isn't because she misses me.

I was bonded to her when I had her in my care, she screamed and cried for a half hour when I left for the store, or if she went with her biological father. She was happy and healthy and now they are making it sound as if she never was.

All I am asking is for your comments on this and your thoughts and feelings as well as advice. I have a pre-trial 11-06-2006 and my trial is set for 12-12,13,14-2006. I am also looking for your encouragement, often times I do feel like giving up because the pressure of them want me to so they can adopt her out is so heavy.

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First of all, I am sorry to hear the things you are going through. I was waiting for someone else to give their opinion but since nobody did it as yet, let me share my thoughts. There are more questions than answers so I can get a grasp on the situation.

As you see in my avatar, I am not a US citizen so my opinion will be quiet limited since even though I am a bit familiar how Social Services works in the US, I am not there and I do not know your case.

Let me go by steps:

Those are serious charges. Who made the call to Social Services? Didn't they visited you in the past prior of taking your daughter? It is just weird that they take her away from you in the doctor's office unless a doctor called Social Services after checking your daughter.
What's that about injurious environment?

What do you mean by that? Something inside her nose makes her "smell bad"? I find this to be extremely strange.

Since the Judge had hear your case and agreed with Social Services, he must have seen some type of evidence/s of neglect on your part. Please, do not think I am judging you...what I am trying to say is that it is NOT Social Services alone.

Therapy for what purpose? What about the alcohol evaluations? Did you get the results of these tests as yet?

Who support you financially then? and your daughter? Do you have any other kids?

This does NOT seem like a one time thing. Did you have problems with Social Services in the past?

How they know she was having eating disorders and never had a schedule while she was on your care? It does not sound right.

What would be the purpose of it? I do not see any reason why Social Services would take away a kid from a mother who cares, loves and provides for her daughter.

Please answer the questions so I can provide better thoughts. Thanks.

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This is outrageous! Social Services do not know how to raise children, they only know how to stress them out. I do not think that if the SS went to visit any American family in any American house, they would not qualify for "a good parent" through their eyes. But they fail to realize, that they are judging people on rash opinions. All parents have different methods, so, of course, they will see immediatly someone out there who doesn't follow their exact methods and will become very critical. The only time Social Services should have a say is when the parents physically/mentally abuse their children.

Best of luck to you; I'll be rooting for you.

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Well my mother and I found out that my stepgrandmother called on my mother and put me in the middle of it by saying that I was living there and hiding out with an infant. The social worker ( I was in a different county at this time) said that the first report that she had made sounded very weird and untrue, the report said that my mother's house was unbelievably trashed, she lets my sister who is 15 sleep with older men, my brother christopher was being overdosed on his ADHAD medication and my brother joey was seen passed out on several occassions form drinking. The social worker said that since my stepgrandmother made another call she was obligated to come check things out, when she arrived at my mother's house she found that everything was the opposite of what was reported. See my stepgrandmother doesn't like my mom, they are always feuding about something, like she accuses my mother of stealing stuff from her house and my mom doesn't even go over there. Since I had an infant I guess that social services stuck with me. The county that this all started in had no reason or wants to take mercedes, then I moved to another county and they seen things different what I don't know because nothing was different except for I moved in with my boyfriend and his mother.

The nose issue was that she was putting things in her nose and that I had been to the clinic were she was taken later on, they couldn't get whatever was in her nose out so they told me to go to a hospital named Luthern, they looked at her and tried to get it out, they told me to go to another hospital named childrens hospital and finally they were able to get it out, but that was only minor, I started to notice that she was smelling almost like there was something dying, her nose started to bleed so I took her to childrens hospital again, they said that they didn't see anything in there so they told us to go home, I was flustered. Two days went by and I took her to the clinic again thinking that she might have an infection from whatever was in there, they told me that they have never smelt an infection like that before so again I went to childrens, they told me that they didn't see anything in there, so again I went home and a day had passed by, her nose was running and bleeding off and on, so I took her to childrens again and this time I let my frustration out I told them that I had been there three times before this and all you guys do is tell me that nothing is in there, so they looked at her and told me the same thing as before, and I knew I couldn't go to anyother hospital because childrens was the only place that had the tools to get whatever was up her nose out, so again I went home. The next day I found out that my daughter had an attorney and she ordered us to go back to childrens so we did and she went with, I again shared my frustration with them and at this point I am mad, so they took her back and the doctor we seen said that it sounds like she has an infection and gave us the medication that she had the rash from and sent us on our way. Her nose still smelled, and I was so mad and stumped because I knew that I was running low on what to do about this situation, childrens didn't bother paging or calling the ear throat and nose doctor to come look plus they didn't do any xrays to see if they could see anything in there. I had a meeting with her attorney and she told me that I shouldn't have trusted those doctors, now I am thinking well aren't you supposed to trust the doctors that you see? and I asked her that and she straight out told me "NO!" with an attitude. When they took her they also took her to childrens and finally they were able to get what was in her nose out. and she is fine now.

The injurious home was because there was clothes that I was washing and folding and toys she had out that she had been playing with all day. Mercedes attorney said " This place looks like a *** and in order to clean it you need a shovel" and those were her exact words and I have witness to that.

The therapy is for depression social services said that I was depressed and it wasn't because of my daughter being taken it was because I have been suffering it, I told the therapist that I was depressed because my daughter was taken, and that yes in the past when I was in a foster home I was suffering from major depression because I wanted so badly to be home with my family, I also told her that I was depressed because of the situation at hand involving my daughter.

As with the drug evaluation I did get the results to both and the results were that I did have an addiction to drugs or alchohol and that I said I wasn't doing any drugs. The drug test itself proved that I hadn't been using drugs either.

As far as the comment on the judge I don't think that he is on their side because the court hearing before last I told him that my social worker cut the visits down to once a week because she didn't have time to go and get her twice a week and take her back to the foster home, the judge then said that if I can show him improvement by next court hearing that he would grant me two visits a week both being two hours long and he turned and looked at him and said " Or will you not have time for that?" he said it with anger in his voice. and this last court hearing he told me that social services has a huge burden on their shoulders to prove to him that they were right to have taken her. When they said that she was medically neglected they have no proof of that and if they were to get proof they would only get what would not be in their favor because all of her records from the time she was born to the time she was taken shows that she was healthy, upto date on her immunizations,had gone to all of her well child check ups, and had gone everytime she was sick and for check ups to see if she was getting better. The house issue well they forgot one thing and that was taking pictures of what they said was a *** so all the judge will have is hear say and that wont stand in a trial hearing because they need physical proof and that is something else that the judge had told me, when he said that the social worker just sat there and rolled her eyes and then looked at me with a dirty look.

So I have been doing everything that they have asked me to do, my house is clean, I go to all of my appointments, ect. so I have a feeling that I just might win this case and I will have the love of my life and well she is my life. I don't know what I would do with out her completely.

Message Edited! You cannot use bad words on this site. Please make sure you read our rules before posting. Thanks.

Edited: LDS_forever on 17th Sep, 2006 - 6:52pm

Ring Adoption And Right This You Do

What they are doing to you is wrong and what ever you do don't give up on getting you child back because that is what they want, just keep doing what you are doing and sooner or later they will have to give you child back as long as you do everything right you will get you kid back. All you have to do is believe in god and pray and have other people pray and god will return you child.

Do You Think This Is Right And An Adoption Ring?

Am I missing something here? First you say the test proved that you had an addiction to drugs but then you say the test proved you don't. So which one is it?

You did not answer some of the questions I asked you.

Do You This Right And Adoption Ring

I meant that I didn't have an addiction. and what questions I answered the ones that you had asked me.

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Like:

Since you do not work, Who support you financially then? and your daughter? Do you have any other kids?

So in fact you did have a problem with SS in the past, is this a follow up or a total different investigation?
How they know she was having eating disorders and never had a schedule while she was on your care? If there are lies (as you probably would say), what would be the purpose of lying and taking little Mercedes away from you?

What things? What finally came out from her nose?

The health situation you was describing about your daughter sounded serious, I know you said that you took her to Childrens because they were the only ones with the neccesary tools but maybe was not the right choice since you went there three times with no success, you should have look for more options...I mean we are talking about an infant here, who had something insider her nose, smelling terribly, bleeding and also with a rash. Does it sound normal to you? If I go the doctor or hospital and the place cannot help my kid, I would try ALL the places until that thing is out of her nose.

It doesn't sound right.

I'm sorry but a lot of the things you say are contradictory:

So it's obvious that not everything was going great concerning the care of your daughter, otherwise the judge should not have said "if you can show him improvement" but then you said:

But is the same Jugdge who ruled that Social Services take away your daughter!

Can you see that what you are telling me just does not add up?