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Unusual Mormon Situations

Sometimes there are certain things that make you wonder. I plan to list some situations and you can tell me how you would respond based on your experience in the Church.

Since it is more than one situation please BE SURE TO TELL US WHICH YOU are replying to or we won't know what you are talking about!

SITUATION A

An old man, 80 years old, a member in good standing, and a young woman, just turned 18, also in good standing want to be married and sealed in the temple. As Bishop you know that the old man is a multi-millionaire and the young woman has a family that is in need. They say they are in love deeply and that they want to marry. What would you do if you had to cousel them? Would you give them recommends for live ordinances?

SITUATION B

You are asked to marry your 'dream' guy. He is a return missionary, serves actively in Church and is already a financial tycoon owning many companies. All the young women want him as a husband, but he has chosen you. You are in love with him and he with you. He wants to marry you, but says, "I need for you to sign a prenuptual agreement, so incase things don't work out we already have an understanding." Would you sign it?

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Hey listen, I don't think a 18 years old girl can fall in love to a 80 years old man, it's just plain disgusting!
Anyway, that's not the question you asked. Well, I don't have the priesthood if I would have it, I will probably do not want to give them the recommends because I would know that she's with him for his money and that's all. But technically, I could not do much about it because if both of them are members in good standing then I cannot forbid them to go to the Temple. BUT, and here is the 'power' of the Bishop. A Branch President or Bishop has the right of NOT issuing a Temple Recommend EVEN if the member answered all the questions correctly. If the leader feels that the member is not ready or something is not quite right, the Bishop can hold up the recommend and give some more thought about it before issuing a recommend to them. Probably that's what I would do.
Regards to counseling, I would definetly talk about the age issue.

That's a very good topic. Just the fact that he's thinking that the marriage could fail, it already turn me off. A definitive NO, and actually if I'm engaged with someone that asked me to do something like that I would break up the engagement. I think is a lack of respect more if the guy says that he's truly in love with you because it seems that he's truly in love with his possesions!. If he really loves me he will marry me no matter what. Trust is a big important part of a marriage.

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Situation A:

I would certainly speak with them and councel them not to go through with it, but in the end if they were insistent, I would appove it. After all, since the marriage is for Eternity, they will be together forever as husband and wife and both in the prime of their life. The earthly age difference will only be in effect for a few years until the old man dies.

Situation B:

Assuming the opposite, that my dream girl is already a financial tycoon and requests a pre nup, I would'nt do it. Once maried, we share all equally. Iif you're too worldy and thinking more of your temporal possesions than a relationship, then maybe you should stay single.

Situations Mormon Unusual

A

It could happen. I know some very wonderful 80-year-old men. They are not *all* disgusting! It would depend on the individual situation, and the bishop would have to let himself be led by the spirit and not just by social or temporal concerns.
Agreed, a young person barely 18 doesn't always have a great basis for good judgment, but I do know some very grounded young people. It's not for me to judge

B

This is a really difficult one, because you say they are already in love. It's not like some slick guy is asking for it, but someone you LOVE. If I were younger and didn't know what I know now, I think I would do it, and then spend the rest of my life proving to him that he didn't need to do it.
However, I know some pretty powerful, rich guys through my work. They're awfully arrogant (and can be ignorant) and believe they have special knowledge and judgment just because they are rich and powerful. So, based on that, and how I've seen these guys treat their wives, as possessions and not partners, at this stage of my life I'd have to have a very solid basis for actually being in love with him in the first place. But the pre-nup would definitely throw a wrench into the works. I don't know how I would react.

IMO
Roz

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Farseer - agree with you on A!

(no, I'm not 80).

It's strange how our culture sometimes leads us to believe what is "disgusting" (to borrow another's phrase) or not.

It was once quite acceptable for 14 to be considered the age of marriage.

Abraham married a woman probably at least 60 years his junior.

Numerous other prophets were very young (under age by our culture) for certain positions in society and the Church, in war and peace.

Now, we should not allow culture to determine absolutes; only self-evident truths and revelation can aid in that pursuit!

Dubhdara.

Unusual Mormon Situations

Situation A.

Tony Randall, the incredible actor, died recently. We saw a short bit about his life.

His first marriage lasted over 50 years, until his wife died. She was unable to have children.

In 1995, at about 75, he married a woman over 50 years his junior. She had a son. They were the absolute joy of his life. Here was a man in his 80's talking about how he was looking forward to teaching his son how to throw a curve ball. Later, he had another child.

He proclaimed to the world something to the effect of - "I was born to be a father."

This appears to have been a hugely successful marriage. Who are we to judge?

Situation B.

Prenuptuals are a Babylonian thing. If someone wants one, that is entirely up to the couple involved. But I would think the woman should really think twice about all of it if this is being presented before a Temple marriage. I don't think it is a good thing to go into a Temple marriage while planning an exit strategy.

Unusual Mormon Situations

That was meant for me right?
I don't think has nothing to do with culture, I believe to be common sense. The example given is that the guy is 80 years old, multi-millionarie, the girl is 18 and in need. I don't think it is a difficult equation to solve. Of course, as Nighthawk pointed out, we are nobody to judge whether they are in love or not, I just comment it based on the example given, of course, I don't know any couple like that.

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The phrase was yours, though not necessarily the conclusion. I have no way of knowing your heart or mind and would not presume to do so

I'm sure your view is likely correct, and perhaps is nearly always the case in such circumstances - but that cannot discredit the genuine exceptions.

I think our culture has a lot more to do with what we feel uncomfortable with or intolerant about than we imagine: I think that may lessen as we progress in the gospel but it seems the thing that changes the slowest, in my humble opinion.

We can find very spiritual LDS in one part of the world, and some more in another who may be at complete odds with one another on certain important issues. Why? Because of what they were taught from their culture and from their political/social environment.

Dubhdara.