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LDS Interracial Marriages / Relationships - Page 3

I believe that the advice that Elder Lee gives is sound. In the quote he not only advises to marry within your race, but also to not marry too young. I believe the advice is meant to guide us into a relationship with a minimal amount of problems at the beginning. Enough problems happen on their own, add to these interracial, and adolescent challenges and it might be too much to handle.

This is good advice that should be carefully considered, insofar as you should consider all other aspects of a relationship before committing to marriage.

Relationships Marriages Interracial LDS

Interesting enough, there are several LDS leaders who married outside their race/ethnicity. I guess in the end we should all evaluate our own circumstances without dwelling too much on counsel given at a certain time period where interracial relationships were almost taboo.

Actually, I think intercultural marriages seem to breed more problems than interracial ones but again, it all depends on the individuals.

LDS Interracial Marriages / Relationships Studies Doctrine Mormon

LDS Church condemns past racism 'inside and outside the church'

PROVO - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued a forceful statement Wednesday condemning racism, "including any and all past racism by individuals both inside and outside the church." Ref. Source 9

Page 3 Relationships Marriages Interracial LDS

I find the Prophet should always be taken serious, but I add an exception, if I may. The Prophet is the Shepard of the flock, like sheep, many of the sheep are not as wise and foresighted and have the Holy Ghost like they should. The main point of the idea is, the more one has in common, the greater the chance the relationship will be a success. If we are truly in in tune with Father through the Spirit, we can know what is best for us, but love is often confused with desire and lust, and we are lead astray by our own weaknesses.

Today, many cultures have been here in the US for a long time, we have become more like one people, no matter what out race; society, TV and schools tend to do that. The Prophets advice is more then insightful, one should join with one who you relate too, the more matches the better.

I guess before I relate these facts, I should say, I am a full Heinz 57, to coin a old phrase. I am mostly Swiss Italian, German, at least 3 races of native American, Irish, English and etc, so what race or culture do I identify with, as my recent ancestors all act like classic Americans.

I have been married 3 times, the first one, half American Indian Blackfoot, she left,wanted to be free. The second, Mexican American, I finally left after 17 years to protect myself and my health, she was verbally and mentally abusive. I guess the third wife, who is mostly English and a part Cherokee, I guess was the charm.

The biggest problems with the first two wives, besides the abuse by the second one, was not race or culture; being Empathic and very accommodating and adaptive, I an adapt to most things. Unlike some who are narrow minded,I find differences of culture and food and etc positive and joyous to be held.

My conflicts with others are my high IQ, high spiritual approach to everything and being a hypersensitive Empath ( feelings others feeling like your own) I am also very health oriented because of military and hereditary heath issues, so had to become Vegetarian and now basically Vegan to just survive. I find that expectation, desires need to find fulfillment and diet, for more conflictive then culture or race.

I guess though it depends on the person, a relationship is a push and pull, equal give and take situation of love and Patience. I guess the more one has those Christ like attributes, the more one can marry almost anyone and it will work, if both parties are a like. If both are not willing to make it work, it won't survive, no matter how good the match is.

I guess the first and last most important thing is, to be truly in tune with the Holy Ghost and will of the Father, then we will know what to do. Though we all being human, this is not often so easy as it sounds.

I find if we love and wish others well over ourselves, and give pride the boot, things go smoothly.



David

Edited: DavidLJ on 31st Mar, 2012 - 2:22am

Relationships Marriages Interracial LDS

David LJ:

Maybe the conflicts were related to humility? Not trying to attack you but nobody goes around saying "my conflicts with others are because of my high IQ or because I am so beautiful". You may be stating a fact but it doesn't sound good specially because by the other hand you say:

LDS Interracial Marriages / Relationships

RominaL

I mentioned High IQ and being a Sensitive Empath, in that they are also things we need to take into account, though not that they be a problem. Many times things may not be a problem for yourself, but for others. My IQ, the way I think, puts me a very small percent bracket. I have found that the higher ones Mental and Spiritual IQ, the more I can communicate and not be taken wrong or misunderstood. But with it,comes the chance to learn greater patience, just one of my trials to polish me.

My x wife, was always confronting me and cutting me down, because I thought a light year ahead of her, my VA Psychs comment to me, not my observation. I never even realized what my IQ was, until I took tests for disability, because of problems acquired in the military, during the Viet Nam Era. I thought I was a dummy until then, because others often did not understand me, also include some dyslexia and ADD.

My present wife, unknown to me in the beginning, also is high IQ-ed, and ADD in a different way, but similar, she is also as we have discoverer also a sensitive Empath, along with her 7 sons from previous marriages. She is a Shiatsu therapist, when she worked on me for the first time, we exchanged energy Spirit to Spirit and knew that had agreed before coming down here, if we ever met, we had promised to help each other get through life.

She has often told me and others, that I was the first husband of 4, that she has not felt like leaving within the first 6 months. We feel that we finally got it right, and listened to the Spirit and not our desires.

In Young Adults years ago, Church leaders told us to seek out someone most compatible, the more a like, race, IQ, being Spiritually and etc, the more we can be united in one accord to have a successful relationship The guidelines in any Church admonition should be taken seriously, unless the Spirit directs you otherwise, but one better be sure, you are connected and to the right source.

God wants to help us be successful in all things in life, and guidelines and commandments help to steer us clear of cliff, the commandments are a given, but some guidelines and advice may have exceptions, if the Holy Ghost so directs you.

Edited: DavidLJ on 3rd Apr, 2012 - 6:41pm

LDS Interracial Marriages / Relationships - Page 3

Congratulations David I hope it works out for you. I bet you wish that all that experience you gained could have been used when you met your first wife huh? Too bad there isn't a good detailed manual about preparing for marriage. I see nothing wrong with interracial marriage but one thing the couple must understand... When they marry they marry into both families that may not think the same way they do about each other.

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Yes, I wish I knew then, what I know now, but looking back is always so much easier, then when you are in the moment. I wish I knew more about being a Sensitive Empath back then too, not having them in my head, or realizing they were, would of been a major help. I was fulling their desires and dreams, not mine.

Thanks for the kind words and perspective. My present wife I get along ok, but can see I could of avoided even more relationship stress and conflict, if she had been thinner and Vegetarian if not almost Vegan, but then that was not why we got married. Yet the last two wives both became Vegetarian before we married, and felt a bit betrayed when when they went back to meat eating, even though that is their choice. I guess I don't understand, I would change what I believe to make someone happy. The difference is not so much a problem for her, it is for me. I find it hard to deal with those I love, and am close to, if they are not on my level of understanding, but then I get to learn patience and tolerance, as I pray and slowly watch them change. I love people and find it hard to watch them suffer in needless pain and suffering.

I am an Idealists, want to better everyones life, I see Christ as sort of a Idealist, without the hangups I have. I see everything in life, as a piece of art to shape and perfect. To me, everything is to over come and upgrade, cannot stand to stand still, if I can do something about it. I am never satisfied with the norm, to me if one is living like everyone else, you are probably really in the dark and don't even realize it. I often wonder why I have to be so aware of things, when life would be so much simpler and blissful, to live in a little ignorance like most others. But that is just not who I am, I guess I never will be.

The funny thing is, I was aware of what cultural and family likes and dislikes there was, really wasn't any. Being a Empath, I feel others emotions as if my own, though in the past that was part of the solution and the problem; literally you walk a mile in their shoes. I loved their parents, we got along great, the wives were just really not like their parents normal and positive behavior, but more about negative learned behavior growing up and extended family inherited behavior, that was not apparent right off. When things turned bad, it was hard to separate, I still liked the parents and extended family.

The last X, I really was not listening to the Spirit, not until after we married, did I fully realize what I should of been seeing. But I stayed, the Church said, any to righteous people can make it work, two righteous people, is the word, it only works if both are trying and putting the other before themselves, which has been more of what I am hearing from General Authorities in the Church.

I can see that ideally, we need to be one with the Godhead, and then also one with those we plan on marrying, at least to a certain degree in the beginning, if it is to remain progressive and viable. Race really has nothing to do with it, but it can, if one is not open and flexible enough.