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Large Families

I love big families, maybe not HUGE ones (over 10) but surely I would like seven children. I just need to convince the hubby.

Having said that, parents of large families usually get uncomfortable questions and comments from friends, relatives and sometimes complete strangers. Society in general frown upon large families now days.

What are some of the answers you may want to give if you have a large family of your own and you are tired of the stares, frowns and even rude comments from people. Here are a couple, feel free to add your own.

More: https://www.plomp.com/largefam/comebacks.htm

Definitely women tend to make these statements more than men, so moms of large families are the ones dealing with these questions/comments most of the time.

Families Large

I've heard comments like these directed towards others. We now have five, and have only heard people thank us that we were bringing in children to a good home to help society. (These people don't know me very well.)

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Tortdog:

I suppose you will hear differently if you was not a lawyer. People get so caught in status/professions as to put it as a measuring stick of what could be considered a "good home". I highly doubt you will be told the same thing if you are a worker getting minimum wage in a restaurant. *laughs*

Families Large

We aren't rich by any means. Working for the government is NOT the key to wealth - but it IS the key to happiness when you are bound to serve the cause of justice in my view.

And, [insert lawyer joke], I would think our home might be suggested as good DESPITE having a lawyer in the mix.

The comments that have arisen (these are all non-LDS obviously, since LDS favor large families) have been for these reasons:

* older boys are Star and Life ranks in the Boy Scouts
* family is anxiously engaged in various service projects to neighbors/community (moving people in - I'm an EQ president so we have lots of chances to serve, blessing the sick, attending community service events, instructing at the Red Cross)
* weekly attendance at worship services by the entire family
* family vacations
* prohibitions on dating until 16
* kids in decent clothes that cover their bodies properly
* decent hair cuts that don't go overboard

Basically, once they find out the common life of the Mormon family, they respect it for what it is. I think they respect our old-fashioned values. Of course, I am in Texas, so that is appreciated. In California ... not so much.

Families Large

Good accomplishments Tortdog. Having lived in the US, I still think people judges other based on profession/class status hence my comment that a lawyer would get a more positive look than someone who is struggling to keep a job. Maybe is different in Texas. Right here in Trinidad, MOST people frown upon large families regardless of their financial situation. It is seen as "odd" and "There she goes again with ANOTHER kid". Women here want to live very independent lives and MOST people would frown upon a family of more than three children.

Rather off topic, but... Sadly, that includes members of the Church.

Large Families

I think that viewpoint is widely expressed in California. My sister has remarked on the same (she lives there), and she has 6 kids.

The main reason we never returned to California after law school was because we did not want to raise a family in that society. The society had changed so much, that we felt that we no longer belonged. The society's norm was not OUR norm.

In Texas, we feel at home. While there are far less Mormons in Texas than California, there are far MORE people who share our values here.

Edited: tortdog on 13th Sep, 2007 - 3:47pm

Large Families

Sorry had a good laugh on that one. In southern ontario 7 children you get many rude comments regardless how well dressed and behaved their are. I have two boys and usually end up traveling with 2 to 3 more when we go to a park or swimming. I get so many stares as they usually are staggered enough in age to be from one family.

I also get from the older ladies high praise such as they all are act so well for you, you must be a great dad/or so proud of them.

My wife on the other had gets very rude comments as the children are not as dark as she is. It is the "black " people that are the worst. The one I hate most is oh is she your nanny?

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My sister has got 4 children, quite close in age, and in the UK where most families have 2 or 3 children it is considered to be a large family.
When I tell people about my nephews and nieces, I hear so often "what's wrong with her, has she never heard of birth control/contraception?"
I can't tell you how often I've heard this, and how rude I find it to be!
My sister is a Mathematician, I tell people she obviously did her sums to the amount that she wanted , it's none of their business anyway. I find the best way is to ignore these ignorant people!