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Confessing To Your Bishop

I have a friend who has broken the law of chastity. He also is getting ready to go on a mission. When he broke the law of chastity he didn't know that when doing that you have to wait a year to go on your mission. Well my friend feels as if it is unfair that he didn't know this and he feels like if he doesn't go on his mission now that he wont even go at all. He is scared if he goes and tells his bishop that they wont let him go on his mission for a year.

What do you think he should do? I don't wont my friend to fall away from the church. I know that a mission will be the best thing for him. What do the bishops usually do when someone young has broken the law of chastity? I want to give him some advice.

My friend has also broken the word of wisdom and feels guilty about that. He has done a couple different drugs. He has been to scared to say anything to the bishop but feels guilty and wants to do what right. What do the bishops do when a young man has done this? What kindove repentance process is taken? He is scared this will keep him from going on his mission too. Will this keep him from leaving on his mission or will he have to wait a year? Please give me some advice?

My friend feels like if he waits around for a year he will be to tempted by drugs and girls. He feels like he needs to go now on his mission otherwise he might not go at all.

Message Edited... JB: A topic already exists about the Law of Chastity, so I changed the title to the current one as this is more of a case about confession / honesty. Also please check your spelling before posting. See our Constructive Posting Policy.

Bishop Your Confessing

I won't go into lengthy details, however:

1. If you cannot be honest with yourself and the Lord then why even bother going on a mission to tell others that they should?

2. Confession is one of the first fruits of repentance. If your 'friend' cannot repent and feels that he will leave the Church because of his own actions then he was never in the Church and would be fruitless on a mission.

3. WHat is the point of going on a Mission if you are going to be teaching people things that you yourself keep in a dark closet? You will be without Spirit, unworthy and will be made to feel like gutter trash be the adversary.

4. The good news is... if your friend is sincere, and wants to serve the Lord and make himself happy then the Lord has provided a way for him to be clean and restored, help him to confess. Maybe you can go with him or he can take someone he confides in / feels close to with him if he is scared.

Confessing To Your Bishop Studies Doctrine Mormon

stoobeyy, a friend of mine years ago was in a similar situation. He broke the Law of Chastity several times before his mission and had a hard time staying away from "girls", he also broke the Word of Wisdom by drinking but he wanted to do the right thing and talk with his Bishop about it but he didn't. He was (like your friend) afraid that the Bishop will not only "judge" him but tell him he cannot go to his mission.

He was too concerned about what his parents would say, what his friends and other people would say if they know he would not go to a mission for at least a year. He was not (no matter how bad he felt) truly repented for what he has done because he was more concerned of the fact that he would have to wait to go to a mission rather than the actual sins he committed.

Well, he tried to go to his mission anyways without telling his Bishop about his issues and he returned within two weeks. After several months he tried again and the same thing happened. He needed help both Spiritual and Professional but he was not willing to confess and he did not.

End of the story? He did not serve a mission, after several years he found himself in more trouble since his addictions were getting out of control. He met this LDS girl who was a strong member and willing to help him. So he did confess to his Bishop who helped him a lot and after a while marry in the Temple to this girl. He always regrets the fact that he did not serve a mission and he always said to me he wished he would have confessed and get the proper help he needed at that time.

Now my comments on your message:

Maybe he is getting ready in the temporal aspect? (buying clothes, etc)He cannot be preparing in the Spiritual aspect knowing that he has some sins he needs to confess to his Bishop.

Unfair? Sorry I do not wish to sound bad but he commits the sin and then he thinks is unfair that he was not told that he must wait a year? I am not sure if I follow his way of thinking. So if there was not such a requirement (the year period) he would have gone to his mission anyways knowing that he broke the Law of Chastity?

Repent and Confess to his Bishop.

Depending on the case and circumstances the Bishop is there to help him in the Repentance process.

If he wants to do the right thing, he would tell his Bishop about it and the Bishop would get him the proper help he needs. Your friend did a couple of different drugs so probably also professional help is needed. Your friend has nothing to fear because the Bishop is there to help with love and understanding not to condemn.

It seems like your friend is only concerned about time frame even though he did not only broke the Law of Chastity but also was involved in drugs. It seems like he does not realize the seriousness of these two issues. He also forgets the fact that he would have to enter the Temple (if he hasn't yet) is he willing to enter the House of the Lord knowing he has committed these sins and hasn't repented and confessed to his Bishop? Your friend needs to remember that a loving Heavenly Father is watching and he needs to do the right thing. He needs to stop worrying about whether he would be able to go to a mission now or a year later but focus on getting his life in order and clean again. I have no doubts in my mind that once he confesses and the Bishop helps him through the process of repentance he would be able to serve as a worthy representative of Jesus Christ than go to a mission unworthy and not able to preach when he knows he has problems with those issues.

If he goes to his mission anyways, he may be faced with worst things. If he confesses to his Bishop he would help him how to deal with those temptations. He needs to do this before is too late and he is "pass feeling".

Well, he is the only one that will lose and he will regret that decision the rest of his life. It is unfortunate that he will let his pride (because it is pride and rationalization of his sins) to take over in this situation where the only thing he must do is to tell his Bishop some of the problems he is facing and in return he will a loving hand of support. So what if he has to wait a year in order to go? But after that period is over, he would be able to go to his mission with his chin up and proud of himself that he did the the right thing, even more he would be proud to tell his future children about his worthy mission.

Bishop Your Confessing

I struggled with my response to these questions, because I'm going to say what I really think of your friend's behavior and attitude, and I'm not going to be nice.

It all sounds rather like spoiled brat whining, to me. He wants the personal glory of a successful mission, without understanding what serving a mission is about, and without first attaining the purity of heart and integrity that are required to successfully serve. Those two years in the mission field are to be dedicated to the Lord, not to the missionary personally.

Tell your friend that he should stop whining and stop being afraid. Faith and fear cannot co-exist, and you repeated over and over how "afraid" your friend is. Let him put his trust in the Lord, and not fear what other people will think of him.

Let him put his life in order before he hands it over to the Lord. He needs to stand up like a man and quit trying to deceive himself that he can deceive the Lord, then confess to his bishop and repent of his sins.

That year could be spent preparing himself personally and spiritually to actually serve a mission. Right now, it sounds as if he just thinks he's "supposed to" go do it, not that he truly has a "desire to" preach the gospel.

Be a good friend and help him take the steps necessary to get himself on track.

Bishop Your Confessing

I think I can be of help in this thread because I was in your friend's situation, until I talked to the bishop. I was never involved in drugs, but I broke the law of chastity. I don't know how long I have to wait, and I'm still going through the repentance process, but taking it to the bishop was the best thing I've ever done for myself. It's painful, it's going to take a LOT of courage to tell an almost complete stranger (I don't know how close your friend is to the bishop) about something terrible you've done and accept whatever consequences follow. Just remember, consequences will always be there, and the longer you wait, the bigger the consequences become. You have to face them someday and they'll NEVER go away unless you deal with them. There is no other way about it. Folowing my meeting with the bishop, I saw him every sunday after that and it was a whole lot easier to avoid temptation with the knowledge that I'd have to see him that Sunday. Remember, it's not a year of waiting.... it's a year of active repentance, and of a complete character reformation. It's a year of self-restoration from the sin that you were involved in, and maybe even more than a year depending on what was done. I don't know how long it's going to be for me, but just the thought that the day will come that I'll be free and clean again is a lot better to look forward to than waiting for the guillotine to fall. We changed bishops and I haven't met with the new bishop yet, so I'm not sure about what to do other than staying strong in the gospel (not sure if I can take the sacrament yet or give prayers in meetings). Just tell your friend to talk to him, and don't think about it too much. He'll understand no matter what, not because of his personal experience but because of his calling. The spirit will witness to him what your friend should do.

Confessing To Your Bishop

I'm going to do something that is totally out of character for me.

When I was 18 I broke the law of Chasity, then I didn't care. A year later I wanted to serve a mission, I knew I had to tell my Bishop, it was the hardest thing to do. I knew that I may not be allowed to serve a mission, and that's what happened. I went through hell for what I did, but in away, I am grateful that I went to my Bishop back then because it gave me the opportunity to examine myself and get my spiritual life back on track. I never did serve a mission (yet), I didn't what to go until I felt I was truly prepared.

I realized a while after that I was not spiritually mature enough to preach the Gospel, I didn't have a testimony of my own. I was trying to borrow light from others, it didn't work out.

Your friend needs to use the Atonement of Jesus Christ in his life, if he doesn't it may affect not only his life, but his future also. Take it from someone who as been there.

Confessing Your Bishop

Forgiveness isn't like a microwave-dinner. Repentance isn't complete in thirty seconds, and purifying our souls takes longer than it does for a burrito to cook in the microwave.

It's not a "just add water" type affair. One who truly possesses godly sorrow will be grateful if they are ever forgiven, let alone after a year of personal growth and change. Your friend's attitude sounds arrogant. Arrogance is the cousin of pride, which we all know is something the Adversary has no shortage of.

I hardly think Christ thought this as he approached Calvary: "What? I have to hang on that cross for several hours before I can say it's finished? That's so unfair!" Your friend would benefit from introspection, genuflection and clear confession.