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Should I Pay For That Beer? - Page 2

MaoriLDS:

I do not fully understand this. You was the one asking for the beer, it wasn't offered to you in the first place so how could you lost all respect for those members? I know you think it was wrong for the guy to bring you the beer but I want to find out if you was testing him or something or you really wanted a beer...if you really wanted a beer, I don't understand why you said you lost all respect for them.

Beer That Pay Should

As an inactive member I was a harsh critic of active members. I was the proverbial inactive trouble maker of the youth program back then.

I thought that they shouldn't be there (in a smokey, dark, seedy niteclub) in the first place, so long as they still considered themselves active and worthy to take sacrament - whereas I accepted I was not active and not worthy to take the sacrament.

But since they wanted to try the "dark" side, and invite me along, I (foolishly) decided to test them to see just how far they were willing to go. After the beer incident I figured that they would not be the best people to follow as examples, especially if I could persuade them so easily to buy one alcoholic drink.

Should I Pay For That Beer? Studies Doctrine Mormon

I would pay for it as it was part of their meal and I stated that I would.

I have made a covenant to follow the word of wisdom, but I do not expect others not of my faith to follow this dietary restriction. By purchasing the drink I have not violated any temple covenant that I have made, nor have a facilitated another in sin. That person is not under the same obligation as me when it come to the word of wisdom and it is not a sin for them to drink alcoholic beverages as it would for me.

It would be similar to the following situation.

Would it be wrong for a Jewish or Islamic bussiness associate to pay for my meal because I ordered Pork. I do not believe it is. I see this as an equivalent because of similar dietary restrictions in the word of wisdom.

Edited: dbackers on 31st Jul, 2007 - 1:58am

Page 2 Beer That Pay Should

I agree with you Dbackers. Over the years I have taken many business associates to a "working lunch." Sometimes they have ordered beer, sometimes they have not. Just because I have taken it upon myself to follow the word of wisdom doesn't mean that I should impose that view on someone else, when I have specifically told them I will buy.

Business lunches would be less awkward than a personal lunch with a friend. If I was on company dime, I guess I am not really paying anyway, and I don't usually mix business and religion unless specifically asked. If I was out to lunch with a friend I would like to think that they all know where I stand on these kind of issues, and if he still ordered a beer I would not mention it at all. I think they would just be trying to get a rise out of me.

Beer That Pay Should

Interesting topic.

As far as a lunch with a non-member...I would not make a big deal of it. I don't feel that I should impose my beliefs or standards on others and feel that doing so is judgmental and harmful.

I never returned to an church or an activity for years afterwards. I had lost all respect for any of those members at that time.

The key here is that your were inactive. In this case I would NOT have bought you the beer. Though you weren't following the Word of Wisdom at the time, you were still a member and had made the same promises as the others. To me, they are completely different situations.

Message Edited... Persephone: Please learn how to use the Quote Tags. See our Constructive Posting Policy.

Should I Pay For That Beer?

In this situation how would you impose your belief of standard? You simply say that you are not paying for it, it is then up to the person to decide if they will pursue the drink or not seeing as they will be paying for it. Now, I do agree that I would not make a big deal about this either, however since you said you did not want to impose your standards I was just curious as to how you think you are doing that.

Should Pay That Beer - Page 2

It would definitely bring up the reasons why and living in an area where there is a high population of Members as well as a large population of people who are highly critical of us, it would come across as self-righteous and perpetuate the overall perception here that we feel we are better than everyone else. Tolerance of others is key here for the church to grow.

Should Pay That Beer Mormon Doctrine Studies - Page 2

I understand where you are coming from, but that is not imposing in my opinion. Imposing for me is when you subject others to your belief, so for instance if you had said, "I'm not going to eat with you if you order a beer", then you are giving an ultimatum.

I believe it has a lot to do with tone, your demeanor and what the person really thinks of you or their previous impression. For instance one might gently say, "Hey, just so you know... we have been friends a long time, and one of my beliefs is that I cannot participate in the buying of alcohol, you know... it just one of those things..." then your friend who has an understanding of where you are coming from says... "Sure, no big deal, I will cover that". Then after that rather than a big long silence you continue to talk about something else. I have seen this done many times by those who have the Art of Discussion - there is nothing to it.

You cannot control what others think of you. Many will smile at you and behind the scenes consider you a mad man - there is no changing that. What you do to set the first impressions long before such a situation as described in this Thread matters more, than what you will say in one moment. In my opinion.