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Manipulation And Power Struggle

Most children with ADHD love to be in control and it can cause a real problem at home with the parents. They are also very manipulative to get people to do what they want. How do you handle those two issues with your kids?

Struggle Power Manipulation

Gosh, is this true? I have ADD, but I totally understand this need to be in control, and being manipulative. Especially lately, I have begun to notice it with the holidays coming up. My tip to you, though very simple and may not help may be to actually tell them they are manipulative and controlling. They aren't exactly good qualities everyone wants.

However, it may help to understand why it least for me, there is a need to be in control. I am not speaking on the behave of anyone who is ADD, or ADHD but maybe I can give you some insight?

It least for me, being unmedicated is like being drunk. (Not that I have ever been drunk)Or maybe even being high. In my world where it is sometimes hard for me to get sentences out of my mouth because my mind is somewhere else, or where I'd much rather stare at my desk than at the teacher this need for control is something I thrive on. Though not all the time, it is rather scary to be ADD because you can't all ways control yourself so I have the need to control others. Which leads to being manipulative, and getting what I want out of other people.

I am not sure if this helps you at all, but I feel maybe if you got a somewhat insight on what it's like for us, or well it least someone with ADD it may help you understand a bit better.

Please Note: I am very aware of the differences between ADD and ADHD. My little sister has ADHD and I know what it can do.

Message Edited... Just changed the first phrase in order to not use the Almighty's name in vain. Thanks.

Edited: LDS_forever on 21st Dec, 2006 - 10:27pm

Manipulation And Power Struggle Health & Special Psychology

I have found that using the 'Team Player' method is the best way to prevent this problem. If the child is made to understand that he is part of a family - part of a team and that whatever he or anyone in that team does affects the team then he may think twice about what he wants to do to gain control / manipulate. I have seen my son change his mind about a couple of instances in which he would have tried to manipulate us into getting his way because he felt that in the end it would 'hurt' the team and thus be hurting himself.

Struggle Power Manipulation

Tell me more about this "team player" method and how do you go about it. Thanks.

Struggle Power Manipulation

Team Player method is about getting our son to see that he is part of a functioning group and not merely an individual among separate individuals doing their own thing. In other words we are aware of what each other is doing and the reasons for it so some level of respect can be developed. For instance a basic example is... if he is talking to me non-stop and I am trying to work then I say something like...

"Felipe, I need to work, because if I do not work I cannot make the money to get the food you like to eat."

He appreciates that rather than if I just said, "Okay enough talk, I need to work". In my example he can see how he benefits from 'allowing' me time to work.