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Social Services

Have you ever been concerned about something happening with the management of your children that would cause Social Services to take them?

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I get paranoid about social services because of some of the stories I've heard from others.

When my daughter was younger she fell off the couch and hit my husband's computer chair. It gave her a bad bruise right under her eye and I was hesitant to take her out in public because it looked like she was punched in the face. I hated when someone asked about it and I had to tell them "she fell off the couch" because it sounded like such a lame excuse, but it was the truth.

I know they are there to protect the children, but I think sometimes they get over zealous.

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I like to watch the TV series "Judging Amy" and more especially the mom of Amy who happens to portray a very hard working social worker. Now there are cases for which suspicion is justified and then there are genuine mishaps that Indygo described above, but the problem is that in today's world the abuse is so prevalent that the genuine mishaps seem to be the rare cases. As far as me being scared for any kind of social services taking my kid that is not even a thought as the social services system is so ill enforced that maybe I could give them a tip or two.

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Here in the States, it's common, as Indygo pointed out, for Child Protective Services to go way overboard. I know a family whose 3-year-old granddaughter was taken right out of their home, right under their noses. The social worker just walked in and picked up the child and turned around and left before they even had time to react. Why? Because the social worker decided that the teenage mother of the child had an "inappropriate relationship" with her own father with whom she lived - she saw the girl sitting on her father's lap. These people have mortgaged their house and taken on huge debt in order to fight in the courts and in the political arena for over 5 years, while that child grows up in the hands of strangers, three or four different foster homes (so far).

No, I don't fear how I "manage" my own child or household, that anything I could do would spark an investigation by CPS. But I do worry about accidents that look bad, bruises that come from innocent events, and mishaps that would trigger some "concerned" individual to make a phone call. In this day and age of Big Brother and Neighborhood Watch, anything is possible.

In my opinion, of course.
Roz

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Social Services seems to always be zealous to take a child from a good home because they spank or something else that, while I don't necessarily agree with, does not constitute abuse. But then, drug addict parents who don't care seem to be ignored. We have turned in the parents across the street several times. Here is the history.

1. When they were high on Meth, their kids got into the lighters and set the matress on fire. The police determined it was set by a lighter in the bed room where the kids were. Meth containers and materials to make it were found in the house and pot, but no arrest.

2. Three times in the last year the mother has been missing for two days and the father leaves. The information was found when they were outside playing in their pajama's. They are six and two. We stayed at the house with them until they came home, seven AM the next day.

3. Six year old son found watching porn with a glass of rum he was drinking with his orange juice, his parents were passed out up stairs, presumably from the Meth.

4. At least three times the oldest has been playing at our house and pooped his pants. He was sent home, and came back with new underwear but not cleaned up. He was told that it would dry!

We have made no less than five calls to social services and our next door neighbor works for social services and we have talked to her. They have never, not even once, opened an investigation on them. They both have warrants out for their arrests and such, they would have those kids taken away for sure if they investigated. But instead, they let it go and ignore us when a real abuse case is happening. Its a shame because they use those kids to get nearly all their utilities and food paid for. Neither of them work at all.

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Oh my goodness Kon! I am shocked by the story you are sharing. Have you thought about contacting your local political representative? (whatever is called in the US) or when a situation like that arises (when the parents go missing) you can contact the local TV channel anonymously and tell them to come and check the house. You can also say that Social Services have been contacted but they ignore your complaints. You do not have to leave your name. I feel so sorry for those kids!

Social Services

I think that Social Services probably act differently in different areas of the country/countries, and they can't all be branded the same.

Having worked closely with Social services for many years as a Foster carer, there have been times of utter frustration whilst Social services have had to go through all the correct legal works/paperwork, before a child has been removed from a parents' care, even though they are certain that the child has been abused.

Sadly Social services don't always get it right, but again I feel they have a hard 'balancing act' to maintain. If they leave the child in an abusive situation, they are seen as not doing their job right, if they immediately remove a child, again they are seen as not doing their job right... I would certainly hate to be the one who has to go in and remove a child/children from their family, regardless of blame.

We have seen sometimes, there has been a shortage of carers, and 'available beds', and the children have had to stay in an abusive situation, longer than would normally have been, due to there not being anywhere to place the children.

This happens quite frequently over summer school holidays and Christmas, as these are 'peak' times when parents will voluntarily place their children in care due to either the parents not wanting them at home full time over school holidays, or lack of money at Christmas time, they know a child in Social services care will return after Christmas with presents having been provided by social services for the children.. you'd be surprised and saddened by how many people do this.

I don't think in most circumstances there is anything to worry about a child having a 'genuine accident', most schools that kids attend would only be alerted if the child had persistent injuries, or showed signs of 'inappropriate behavior' or signs of abuse.

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When I was 6 my mother left all 5 of her children for reasons only known to her. Social Services stepped in and we were put into a foster home. Now, I am 5 months pregnant with our (third pregnancy) first child, and I am scared that maybe one day I would become like her. I tell all of my fears, hopes and dreams to my husband. Once I told him of this one particular fear, he said... "You'll become the mother you always wanted, and the person you want to be. If you don't want to turn out like your mother, then you won't. The ball is in your court, you decide what to do with it." This was THE BEST advice anyone had ever given to me. There were always instances where CPS stepped in when there was no need, but I guess they are just doing their job. (Maybe this was a little off topic, but it's my personal story.)