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Trini Single Parent

Trini Single Parent

Are you a Trini Single Parent living in Trinidad or Tobago? How do you manage? Do you get any monthly payments from your child's father / mother?

Parent Single Trini

I'm going to mix up the answers a little.
Yes I am a single parent living in Trinidad and I do not get support from my child's father (not divorced therefore not spouse).
I manage through support form friends and family and I do not take this for granted.
When ever we take the opportunity to critize Trinidad, I look at the wonderful things that we take for granted here.
Yes financially it is difficult to manage, especially with rising prices, but there is abundant support from extended family and friends. Something that may not exist in a larger country.
There are so many children at my child's school who get picked up or dropped of at school by a grandparent. In my neighbourhood, grandparents help to walk the grandchildren, etc.
In addition, my sister has recently started sleep over night with my child so that I get some space and he learns independence.

Trini Single Parent Caribbean / Tobago & Trinidad

I am not a single parent, but I am aware of MANY who are, as it is a growing situation in Trinidad & Tobago and many fathers have a lot to answer for. However, I do not know how 'abundant' support is equated to being a characteristic of Trinidad. I think that may be based on individual cases. Maybe it is just fortunate for you in your case.

You are seeing that as a positive, I am seeing that as sad. A lot of the youth today need to have their mother or father look after them and stop palming off their children to the neighbor, granny, uncle and so forth. Granny already spent her life raising her child, now she must spend more of her years raising the grand kids too?

There is a lot wrong here. I am not sure if Trini parents, single or not see it.

Parent Single Trini

JB:

While I was teaching I was shocked at the amount of grandparents, aunts and uncles raising kids whose parents are alive and have a family on their own, jobs, etc but gave up some of their kids to relatives. It is truly sad. A lot of these kids have a lot of behavioral problems, when you ask the parents to come in...a grandparent shows up because the kid's father is not in the picture and the mother is living in the USA or Canada but never mind, the mother ensures to send money for the child so he can has the latest Nike sneakers and cel phone.

Single parenthood in Trinidad is definitely a growing situation. There are many who work very long hours to ensure their kids have a plate of food to eat and a roof over their heads. I admire them. Some of them have no support whatsoever and is truly a remarkable job they are doing. I admire single parents who stay with their kids and try to do the best they can.

I agree, I think is sad that grandparents and aunts or uncles are dropping kids to school, I know is because they are trying to be helpful but many times I see some of these parents taking advantage of this generosity and over doing it.

Parent Single Trini

I think that in the example that I used, you are mixing up the difference between support from friends and family and friends and family actually being the parents. The extended family is part of our culture and it is not only about absent parents. These parents are quite present and maybe need help with actual functions, like pick up or dropping to school.
I raise my son. I am well aware of my responsibilities to my son and have changed my life to accomodate him. These single parents are like that.
I am however aware of single mothers who make children and because it is so easy to hand over to a (single) grandmother to raise, just go off and make another.
Maybe age is a factor.

Trini Single Parent

No, I am not. Support is when you assist, but when you do something everyday or take over the role of the parent then you are no longer just 'support' you are in fact functioning in the capacity of the parent as in the example LDS_forever gave.

Note: This is not focused to you, a parent mindful of her child. We are talking about single parents who feel that relatives and extended family are somehow part of the child's daily routine. As comfortable as that might seem we must keep in mind that the majority of child abuse comes from the SAME extended family and relatives. If only you could see the Heinous Crimes Board you will know what we are talking about.

I still do not see this as being part of our culture per se, I do see it as unique to some families as a way of governing their home. I for one never grew up in the care of anyone but my parents so I cannot relate.

Trini Single Parent

The assumption is being made that if my parents (for example) pick up my child everyday, that there will be no reciprocal treatment. The grandparents may pick up the children but the children may have return favours for the grandparents. It is not necessarily one way.

Trini Single Parent Trinidad & Tobago / Caribbean

I am not making any assumptions, I am making a statement of fact concerning SOME Trini Single Parents and their lack of involvement in the lives of their children. I am not interested in what the children can or will reciprocate because the onus is not on them but the parents. That is the point. As an example... if I allow someone else to pick up my child from school I may miss important things like who my child interacts with, what do they do while waiting and so forth. Of course in many instances Single Parents cannot avoid these things because of work and so forth, but in other instances it goes beyond just picking up a child from school. Sometimes the only interaction a Parent will have with a child is to tuck them into bed - if that at all because they feel that everything is being 'taken care of' by someone else - this is where abuse and neglect comes in. Anyone merely has to read the Heinous Crimes Board to know what I am talking about.