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Bible: Child Abuse

Bible: Abuse

What does the Bible have to say about Abuse, such as when people abuse their kids or spouses?

Abuse Child Bible

I cannot answer something so profound, though we are told one day all will be made clear. I really cannot imagine how there will ever be an explanation for the cruelty wreaked upon innocents such as this. Or a fitting punishment for the perpetrators. Yet am I not the judge, the Creator, who will decide these things.

I cannot believe I'm about to say this, as I hardly ever discuss it, but I feel led to share. I grew up in a very physically abusive situation, rarely a day passed I was not hit or beaten; it was also mentally and emotionally abusive; so I was fortunate God sent me a couple of very strong spiritual 'mentors' who demonstrated what God's love really meant. Their godly influence and teachings have guided me through the diversities I faced...face.... In this wicked world.

I was molested by a family member, someone close to me, and it has affected my entire life in a negative way. The person warned me if I ever told anyone, it would destroy my family - put the responsibility for their evil on a child's back. I never told anyone for many, many years - NO ONE.
I used to think of myself sometimes when suffering, considering suicide, as a heroine - that I was protecting my family, I was suffering for their sake. Where I had been very naive and put this person on a pedestal, it made me bitter and resentful in ways that affected my formerly strong faith in God for a long time.
It never helps to allow another's evil to lower or interfere with our own relationship with our Creator. It gives evil the victory - and I will NOT do that.

I did seek counseling, discreetly, in my 20's - because of other issues - but in the course of therapy I dealt as best as one can with what had happened to me; the taint I felt I carried eased a little bit, to know I wasn't alone, it wasn't my fault; this healed a tiny bit of me. Enough to keep me functional, but still not healthy.

Though I don't intend it, most of the men in my life have been abusive. Both husbands were (now deceased). I went 10 years without dating, fearful of this seemingly unhealthy attraction, and just recently risked it again - he turned out to be a very charming sociopath - who manipulated, then abused me. Strike 3, I think, for me. But this time I chose not to accept it and quickly ended the relationship tho he is still harassing me. I can't deny I've had a lonely life.

It's difficult to trust anyone after being abused, yet we often trust the wrong people...many times we learn not to trust ourselves. A heavy burden to carry. Often feeling humiliated yet thinking perhaps we deserve such treatment tho our spirit cries out against it - because of childhood abuse.
From keeping secrets, it's difficult to allow ourselves to be close to others, tho we wish so much to have true intimacy with friends and lovers. Makes for a lonely life. Surrounded by people, yet alone. Terrible feeling to have. I filled mine with helping others, staying too busy working or helping my children's friends, or neighborhood kids, to think about it all. My only reward in life, the happiness of others and knowing I made a difference. (I say only, but actually God sent me an excellent friend, also abused when young, best friend I've ever had. She's dying a rather young death of cancer right now. I'm dealing with her coming loss.)

I confronted my childhood abuser when I was in my 30's and he told me 'it was just a game'...I told him it was a game I never agreed to play and My Life Wasn't A Game. That exchange, without support from a therapist, (NOT recommended, most books say it'll end with mental breakdown), almost did me in. I was enraged by his attitude and 'explanation'. I went into a deep depression where each day was so painful I wondered how I would survive it. Sometimes I still wonder how I survived it. I turned inward, couldn't reach out to God or to anyone. Each day I just wanted to die so the pain would end. At last I realized I was here for a purpose, my life had a purpose, and I needed to find it, do it.

Due to my abuse, I grew to be a stronger person, with deeper convictions, and with a burning desire to help others. To make this world a better place. To rescue the ones I could. To save abused children from years of miserable existences, and mistakes as they grew, if possible. To prevent abuse before it happened. To prevent them from becoming abusers, addicts, suicides...
I hear people talk of thriving....perhaps that is what I did. A seed in rocky soil.

Though trained as a counselor, I admit I still dread dealing with abusers....tho I discover most of them endured similar hardship as children. It is a vicious cycle that must be broken with love. God's love is the key to ending the abuse.
How to love an abuser? Only with God's grace, and then with great difficulty.
I once met a man whose mother sold him for sex to get drugs, he had a rage against women demonstrated by his abuse of them. Inside he was still a frightened little boy, experiencing things no one should ever have to bear. I learned a lot from him. But most abusers, by the time they are caught, are incurable, and unfit for decent society - In My Opinion.

My abuse gave me a compassion for others, an understanding, a kinship of sorts - that resulted in me working with troubled adolescents for years. Many had similar tales. God gave me strength to help them. I am happy to say that I touched lives and made a positive difference in them. They dealt with their issues far younger than I did. Children other staff couldn't reach were drawn to me, accepted and even loved me, as I loved them in Christ. It seemed spirit was reaching out to spirit, for healing. I pray it enabled them to avoid some of the mistakes I made as I muddled through my own life. I still remember the faces and stories after all these years. I still have nightmares. But I revel in the ones grown now that I hear have happy lives. Cycle broken there? Praise God.

My heart breaks with each story I read, it often triggers flashes of my own experiences, and I don't have answers you seek. None of us do or we wouldn't still be in this earthly world. I just wanted to share one person's experiences and how evil was used in the end to help others.
I refuse to let man separate me from the love and grace of God's goodness. They can torture my body, but they cannot destroy my soul. Only I have the power to allow that. I refuse to be filled with poison or hatred, though I do feel loathing at their actions. They should have consequences appropriate for their evil, yet still they have souls, though they may not seem to...

As a victim, I wish we could separate them from decent society. Put them on Alcatraz Island or somewhere, since I don't believe they can be truly rehabilitated, but in reality we must learn to be vigilant, closely observe those who have been abused for any signs they may become abusers, get treatment at early ages for youth, and guard our children well. Even then evil will occur, since this is what the world contains. Until this world ends and a new one begins, there will be evil stalking the innocent. Make it difficult for evil to find the innocents, if you can.

between, after many many years, more than I can say, God gave me the strength and grace to forgive that person for their evil upon...more than my body. It took much prayer and time to do that. But I felt truly healed when I did and a weight lifted from me I had borne for far too long.

This is, well, an unusual way to begin on a forum - I hope it is considered appropriate by administration. And I hope even more, that it helps someone out there, even one person. That will make it worth what it has cost me to write it.
God bless all who read this.

Bible: Child Abuse Revealed Bible The

LadySaoirse that was a very touching story but you know what is great about it... Instead of becoming a shell you turned it around and decided to show more compassion for others. You must be a choice spirit from heaven.

Abuse Child Bible

When something bad happens (especially one that isn't a consequence of something we chose) God gave us free will to choose how we will handle it. That is a major life lesson. Abused people are drawn to me...I will not allow a person to wallow in pity around me or destroy themselves with sabotaging behaviors...if you do these things, you ALLOW the abuser to WIN. I do my best to empower people to overcome their past - live in the present, plan for the future.

I won't let EVIL win. I will resist with all my might. In my story, I did not include the part where I ended the abuse before it went as far as many others I've known. One day when it began, I suddenly felt a furious righteous anger fill me, overflowing, that this beloved person (I thought was of God) was doing this to me - I screamed "if you touch me again, I will tell" and pushed him from me. The abuser immediately retreated in fear and then came back with his story that if I told anyone I would be responsible for the destruction of my family. So, I kept the secret... But he never touched me again.

Therapists I've told say one child in a million will stand up to a beloved authority figure in that manner and prevent further escalation of the abuse. So, I was lucky, you could say. I've felt guilty at times to say I was abused when I saw others abused so much worse than myself because it wasn't stopped. Until I remember all the bruises, cuts, and belt welts I suffered from my parents and some from my husband (not counting psychological and emotional damage).

As a child I disassociated during the physical and psychological abuse by my parents to cope. To be honest that is my greatest fear today. I do not ever want to disassociate from reality, from myself, from who I am and what I feel. (Sometimes, it still tries to happen to me during very stressful times) Therefore, I endure more pain and nightmares from the PTSD than I could avoid, I suppose. Instead, I embrace the experience and the innocent loving child within it in God's Love.

Praise God. He will never give you more than you can bear and He will give you the strength to bear it, He will bear it with you. Though we may not understand now, He has a purpose behind everything, a plan for us.

Abuse Child Bible

(Re: Isiah 53 - in my opinion our live situations are only determined as we choose to allow them to effect our choices - situations: for ex - even POW's had choice of mental thoughts and attitude; another: Joseph had choice when sold as a slave what attitude to take and look where it took him, and when he met his brothers again....; another: as a nurse I've seen people die who should not have because of their defeatist attitude and ones who shouldn't have lived did because of their faith and positive attitude)
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Re: topic of children being abused or killed

First I want to point out, not all abusers become abusers (I didn't - I became, hopefully, through God's grace, a HEALER of the abused).
BECAUSE WE ARE GIVEN FREE WILL....AND CHOICE TO USE WHAT WE'RE GIVEN.
We can choose to be abusers or use the abuse to become adamantly non-abusers.

I believe it breaks God's heart when his children make the wrong decisions just like human parents...yet we cannot live our lives for them just as He cannot live our lives for us. He gave us FREE WILL for a purpose. To learn, to grow, to become worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven.

Second, when I find myself wondering why this and why that is happening in my life (like I'm doing right now with one thing after another going wrong in many areas of my life until I feel like Job is my twin brother)...or when I weep and ask God why atrocities occur in this world...why children suffer cancer, abuse or all the other horrible events that happen on Earth every second...

When I say "Why" - am I questioning God? Am I saying he doesn't have a perfect plan for each of us? Am I saying He is imperfect and created an imperfect world? That He didn't do it right? That He is flawed?

Am I saying He's wrong not to interfere with OUR FREE WILL? When that was HIS plan and desire from the moment of creation? Even if it turns out badly? That is NOT GOD'S FAULT....when a human chooses badly and abuses a child, no more than the child's fault (speaking as a once physically and emotionally abused child).

We know He sometimes answers prayers and miracles do happen, so He has some effects on this world, however, perhaps that was in His PLAN...
but can anyone answer my questions? Is it appropriate for us to blame God or question His authority, wisdom, plan for us...when bad things happen?

Or should we look for what lesson we could learn from these horrible things?

IS there a lesson or even purification through fire wrought by these events?

I don't know. I trust God. I won't dwell on why 1,000 Christians (men, women, children) were killed in His name or manmade/natural disasters. I will trust in God and know that we see through a dark glass now but one day ALL will be revealed; then we will know why hurtful, tragic things occurred.

Working with disabled children, do you know most of them are among the most loving and loveable children I've ever been privileged to know?

That they taught ME many lessons? That they filled my heart and spirit with compassion, love, understanding, acceptance... That might never have been there?
That I am a better person for knowing them and working with them?

I often think WE are the disabled ones, as a person who worked with these kids for many years, while many people asked why with my skills, training and abilities I could choose anything I wished, why choose this field...

I CHOSE to work with these wonderful creations of God and often feel I was BLESSED more by them than I helped them during my years with them. It grieves me, I often cry, that I am disabled and no longer able to work with them.
I MISS THEM. "My KIDS', I called them.

I'm sure I'll be marked 'off response" or something - but I had to say this.
I love disabled children very much. they are an example of god's pure love - they don't judge or condemn, they just love us.

Traumatized children will adopt that attitude, too, if given a chance - many have been neglected and abused, are hungry to be accepted and loved, respond well to sincere caring. show us how godly love heals. lost count of how many I wanted to take home.

So, I try (key word 'try) not to question why horrific things occur to people, but expend that energy praying for them and their loved ones; helping if I can; praying God send them strength and grace to bear it; asking God to help other people make better choices to prevent future occurrences.

That's my answer to "Why"...

Bible: Child Abuse

My post below was geared toward people who repeatedly ask "WHY" God allows such atrocities against children or even in the world at large, "WHY" they occur.

I described mental attitudes and explained my view of not asking "WHY" of God because I don't know His plans but do believe He has them and one day all will be revealed to us, so then we'll understand.

It was also an account of the joyful experience I had while working with disabled/mentally I'll children, whom I miss working with very much.

While I helped them grow and accomodate to their disabilities, I learned so much more from them.

I thank God for the opportunity he gave me to work with such loving, loveable children, so pure and innocent, so affectionate.

Bible Child Abuse

Sorry to read you've been through so much but its good that you can turn it around and help others.

My only question about this is why does he help some and not others?

Bible Child Abuse The Bible Revealed

No one can understand the way of God and I'll be the first to admit that. I do know everything has a purpose though and no matter how bad it might seem at some point in the next life most likely we will know of his grand plan.