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Julie B. Beck - General Relief Society President

Julie Becks, General Relief Society President

I was reading at Sis. Julie Beck's talk in General Conference and she raised some interesting points that drove some people on the internet (women specially) kind of upset. I am not sure why because what she shared is what has been expressed by years through the General Relief Society Presidency.

I was a bit surprised she mentioned this in General Conference. I understand the concept, the doctrinal aspect of it and I fully support it. I just cannot completely digest the times we are leaving and think about our many poor Sisters living in an isolated place in Africa or in the middle of Central America who cannot even afford to put a plate of food on their table for their kids, let alone thinking about bearing more children.

This statement hit a lot of nerves to some people online because when we think about nurturing we think about the spiritual aspect of it and not so much the cooking and the ironing. I think Sis. Julie Becks want us to return to the old values that are almost lost in today's society.

She also spoke about limiting time of Media at home and outside activities for children.

President Society Relief General Beck B Julie

In my opinion, I don't think she was targeting the poor sisters in Africa and other developing countries but the "conspicuous consumers" in Western cultures - specifically, mothers who spend more time out of the home than in it, whether it's working or socially or whatever. It's another plea like Spencer W. Kimball did many years ago: "Come back home, mothers. Come back home."

Julie B. Beck - General Relief Society President Studies Doctrine Mormon

Even the Salt Lake Tribune had an article about the whole issue:

Continues: https://www.sltrib.com/LDSNews/ci_7150554

President Society Relief General Beck B Julie

I had no idea her talk has caused such a stir. I loved it, it has given me some things to work on.

I have never quite understood why women feel bad about General Conference talks that speak of what we, as women of the church, can do in order to be better mothers, wives, daughters, and sisters. I have several friends who tend to feel discouraged after conferences.

I didn't hear Sister Beck talk about "keeping our homes as tidy as the temple." I heard that we should perhaps try a little harder to be organized, to simplify, in order to allow the Spirit to dwell within our homes. I do believe that an orderly home invites the Spirit. Dinner on the table allows for family communication and bonding. Well-ironed clothing and kept hair at church help us to reverence the day more fully.

I have four children, ages 6, 5, 18 months and 12 months and I am 35 weeks pregnant. My children are not always hair brushed and perfect, far from it, but I do believe that I should try a little harder in this area and that is what I caught from Sister Beck's talk. We have had recent conversations in our ward about Sunday dress. In the U.S. we are becoming sloppy and casual. I think that part of "raising the bar" applies to our dress, and I am the first to admit I've bought into the "comfort" of today's styles. I have felt for a while it's time for me to pull out my pantyhose, but I still resist. Sister Beck's talk was another reminder to me that I choose to hang onto some things that perhaps I shouldn't, mostly because I've ignored promptings that have been urging me otherwise. This applies only to me...I don't speak for other women or mothers.

I feel that part of nurturing my children's spirits includes taking care of them physically by feeding them, teaching them how to be clean and how to weed out the unnecessary material things that commercialism throws at us. The physical and spiritual are very intertwined in my eyes. I believe these things because I know that when I am not well-rounded I feel "off". When I am not exercising I feel more tired and have less energy to devote to spiritual progress. When I feel like my house is in chaos I am less able to focus on the physical and spiritual needs of my children and family. Maybe I am just easily distracted?

Having waited 5+ years to become a mother myself, I can relate to the pain of hearing talks about motherhood when there is no child to nurture. I always reminded myself that I could still be preparing for that eventuality, whether it came in 5 years or not until the millennium. But perhaps I have forgotten too quickly what it feels like to be childless and waiting?

Message Edited... LDS_forever: I just fixed your quote tags.

President Society Relief General Beck B Julie

Laine, wonderful points. Personally I think the talk caused such a stir because:

1. It has been a long time we do not hear about these things so directly in General Conference. I would say since the time of the "Mothers in Zion" pamphlet.

2. Women (mostly in the USA) have become so complacent at the lifestyles they chose that anything that goes against that, they considered it to be wrong. But no matter how much they try to rationalize it, women do belong at home when there is a strong man in the house that can provide for his family. This has been part of the Church teachings since its foundation.

3. Pride

The thing is, it is illogical to expect Sis. Becks to reach each sister and each specific circumstance. We have mothers (such as me) who have kids with special needs or widows or sisters in special situations. The talk is meant for the general membership not for the exceptions. I think those sisters who got upset about her talk were expecting that she mentioned their specific situations and is illogical to expect such a thing.

Personally, I think she touched some nerves because we are living in an era where women are choosing to work outside the home. In many situations, it is the husband who is "full time dad" by choice. I am speaking strictly in terms of those people who choose and NOT those who have no choice.

Sis. Becks talk reminded us of the basic teachings of the Church and the basic responsibilities that women have at home and with our kids, that's where we belong.

Just as I found odd the fact that she spoke about not stopping and delaying having kids (thinking about those Sisters in very poor countries) I know she is speaking in general terms and the Lord knows our circumstances and he knows our righteous desires...even for those who may not be able to accomplish these things in their lifetime.

Julie B. Beck - General Relief Society President

I wonder which part hit a nerve? Maybe they just felt guilty about not doing something and chose to just hate the speaker rather than follow the counsel.

Julie B. Beck General Relief Society President

If we're doing what we're supposed to - or at least striving to do what's right, we wouldn't feel "poked in uncomfortable places" when these types of talks are presented. For some of us as single mothers, there's no choice but to be outside the home to work, although I think many of us (myself included) could search more diligently for a source of income that would allow us to have more flexibility.

The church has to teach the Rule, the Normal, the Expected. We who are living the Exceptions should realize that and accept the fact that we are going to hear about the Rules more than we will hear about our own situations. Attacking the messenger, or even the message, is not the answer.

No matter what our situation, we can all strive to do a little better. We *know* where we stand; there is *always* room for improvement. In my opinion, of course.

Roz

Julie B. Beck General Relief Society President Mormon Doctrine Studies

"Being a mother has never been an easy role. Some of the oldest writings in the world admonish us not to forsake the law of our mother, instruct us that a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother, and warn us not to ignore our mother when she is old (see Proverbs 1:8; 10:1; 23:22).

"The scriptures also remind us that what we learn from our mothers comprises our very core values."
Ref. President Thomas S. Monson, "If Ye Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear," Ensign, November 2004, 116