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I Cannot Lose

I Cannot Lose

What do you do to help an ADHD child understand the concept that it is okay to lose in a game? Our son gets quite emotional if he loses in any game, within the space of a minute he cries, becomes quite aggressive and then starts shouting and crying again. We try to explain that sometimes Mommy loses and so does Daddy, but he still does not get it. It takes about half an hour before he calms down and comes to his senses.

Lose I

I have this same problem with my oldest child. He doesn't throw the fits, he just doesn't want to play anymore if he loses. He gets upset when he loses, but then just decides if he cannot be the best, he won't play. I am not one to quite, and my wife plays just for the fun of playing, so I don't know were he got it from. I am starting to make him play games even after he loses, trying to show him that he can still have fun even though he is not winning every game. I don't know if this is having any lasting influence on him, but it seems to be helping in the short run. I also make sure to point out everyone else that lost, and that he wasn't the only one. But children are so egocentric, I just don't know if that kind of reasoning is helping at all.

I Cannot Lose Health & Special Psychology

I have this with my 2 youngest, they go absolutely beserk if they don't win, I explain over and over again that we have to play the games nicely, and that you can't win all the time.
They seem to accept it, until the next time that they are playing the games, and everything that I have discussed with them seems to have been forgotten, and so I have to go over it all again.

This isn't just with games that they seem to get affected either, they like to walk certain routes, and if you dare to deviate off their 'routine' their shouting and screaming sounds like somebody is attacking them!

Time again then for another 'talk', and everything is ok, until the next time. It seems like we are making progress at a snail's pace, but I suppose small progress is better than none.We are waiting to see an ADHD specialist for our youngest Son, but it seems we have a long wait on our hands, as the specialists here are few.

Lose I

I adore playing games and I've noticed myself getting depressed as it becomes obvious that I'm going to lose in a given game. I usually find, at that point, that I can regain the enjoyment in the game by choosing something to do in the game other than trying to win.
For example, I was playing a game of Risk (actually, Risk 2210, but close enough) and got a very disadvantageous starting position, stuck with mostly disconnected countries mostly in Asia. very quickly I had been forced to retreat all of my troops to a single country in the middle of Asia which was pretty well-fortified, so everyone else started concentrating on each other. Due to my slow build of forces, I knew I couldn't win but I wasn't going to get taken out of the game quickly, so I built forces for a little while then decided to send a large collection of armies randomly across the board, leaving a completely indefensible line behind them, just to stir things up. I had fun with this and wound up having an interesting influence on the course of the game without winning.

Of course, I don't know if this sort of priority shift would help in shorter games, but I think it's worth suggesting as a possibility.
Perhaps it's also worth looking into cooperative games which focus on players vs. the game, meaning that you won't have to deal with one child losing and one winning.

Lose I

That in fact is a great idea and gives myself, as a father of a child with special needs, a chance to look at alternative aspects of the games he plays. In this way I can get my son to focus on such things as his position within the game, or how far he reached, etc. This may throw his mind off the idea of being a loser.

I Cannot Lose

One of the best things I've done to help kids learn how to lose is to give them the option of "cheating" to win. If a child gets unhappy he is losing, tell him that he can win any game you play with him by declaring "cheating". Once the child declares their cheating, he can do anything he wants to win. After a while, every kid I've worked with hates the idea and refuses to cheat. By doing this, the child manages their own feelings and makes choices to understand the value in competition rather than winning.

I Lose

I recently started noticing that my son does not get as angry as before when we play together but he does *cheat knowingly* and seem quite happy about it, so when he wins and I tell him he cheated...he will just say sorry and ask to play again and will try to do anything for ME to win, somehow it makes him feel better. *shrugs* I think he assumes that in me telling him he cheated is because I am angry because I lost.

I Lose Psychology Special & Health

I found that actually making the child admit that he is cheating as he is doing it, not you telling him, has a stronger impact on the child's behavior. If he doesn't admit he's cheating, don't continuing playing. See if that helps.