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Steven Wright Quotes
Consider the following quotes by Steven Wright:
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'"
"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it."
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'"
"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish."
"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer"