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The Soft-spoken Parent - Culture, Family, Travel, Consumer Reviews - Posted: 5th Sep, 2006 - 10:49pm
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Parenting Help Book: More Than 50 Strategies to Turn Away Wrath
Post Date: 2nd Sep, 2006 - 2:42am / Post ID: #
The Soft-spoken Parent
The Soft-Spoken Parent
Consider the following tips from an excerpt of the book: The Soft-Spoken Parent: More Than 50 Strategies to Turn Away Wrath.
| QUOTE (By H. Wallace Goddard) |
| Choose Laughter over Accusation - #2 in the Top 10 Strategies to Turn Away Wrath Some years ago when our children were small, I found that the previous user of the bathroom had finished a roll of toilet paper without replacing it. Unfortunately, I discovered this at an inopportune time. I felt like launching a full-scale investigation and then punishing the perpetrator. I was angry. But something inside me whispered that there was a better way. How could I accuse and humiliate the people I loved most? So I called the whole family - all five of us - together into the small bathroom. Then I announced that we had a serious problem. Someone had finished the roll of paper without replacing it. So we would be instituting a new policy. All toilet paper would be stored in a locked shed in the hallway. Paper would only be issued after completing a form in triplicate accounting for each square of paper that was requested. The children laughed at me. I laughed at me. They got the point without any investigation, accusation, or rancor. Truly "a soft answer turneth away wrath" (Proverbs 15:1). So do squiggly - or humorous - answers. Very often we want to help our children act better, but then we often set a terrible example of immature rant. Surely there is a better way. Often, humor is not a bad substitute for anger - as long as no one is hurt or humiliated. I read a story of a teenager who had just learned to drive. She regularly begged for opportunities to drive the family. Once, during a family vacation, her father allowed her to drive on a long, straight stretch of highway. She was in heaven"¦until. Suddenly there was a turn in the road. Caught by surprise, she swung too wide and ran into a service station's sign. She stopped the car and braced herself for a lecture. Her father, always mindful of his children's feelings, was quiet for some time. Then he turned to the rest of the family in the backseat and said, "As long as we're stopped here, does anybody need to use the rest room?" I suspect that this teenager loved her father for his kindness. It is important that family laughter not be corrosive or sarcastic. We must never laugh at a family member's pain. But there will be times when laughing together will help the family draw closer together. Kindness and happiness are the lubricants of positive family life. |
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Post Date: 3rd Sep, 2006 - 2:14am / Post ID: #
Parent Soft-spoken The
I think its a matter of determining whether or not raising your voice and getting upset will 1. help the situation and 2. will it help teach the child the lesson that needs to be learned? Discipline is supposed to teach a child the right way to behave. If what you do does not facilitate that, then it isn't needed. Most "angry" moments are a response to a behavior that made you upset. But in reality, your feelings have nothing to do with the discipline since the reason for discipline should not be out of anger or due to how upset it made you.
The Soft-spoken Parent Reviews Consumer & Travel Family Culture
Children learn behavior, so if a parent rants, raves and screams at their child constantly, they shouldn't be surprised when their child starts yelling and screaming at everyone else.
Yes, children do need disciplining, it is the only way that they can learn right from wrong, as Konquererz so correctly stated, but we have to bear in mind that until a child has been told whether something is right or wrong, they really have no way of truly knowing. It is a case of trial and error.
Sometimes there is the 'unspoken' word that you can use with giving a certain look, and they know they shouldn't be doing it.
I find that children react far better to a firm but fair approach, they know then want boundaries are laid down for them without having to raise your voice all the time.. which lets face it, doesn't really do the parent or child much good.
(In my humble opinion)
TOPIC: The Soft-spoken Parent