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Why People Ask Certain Questions...

I do not know if some of you get this but I get it very often, people would say they want to do A and ask me what I think about it but when I share it they do not want to hear the answer, it is almost like they want me to say something that either agree with their opinion or makes them feel good somehow. My point is why to bother to ask for an opinion then? Then they continue asking questions around the same topics rationalizing certain aspects like if they somehow want to convince themselves that doing A is indeed fine then why they want ME to agree to that? Why is it so important what I think? Any insights?

Questions Certain People Why

I am not sure, but don't we have a similar Topic around (maybe in the Feedback Board and not really Psychological)? For me the answer comes down to one of two things:

1. The few really want feedback and will take it so they have a different perspective to make their final analysis themselves. These are the intelligent ones.

2. Then there are the more common folk who want someone to make the decision for them. They are usually weak individuals who are unaccustomed to challenges or live in denial.

3. Then there is the majority - those who have made up their mind (maybe after conflicting thoughts) and are looking for everyone to agree with them or their decision, so it becomes a confirmed resolve in their mind.

Why People Ask Certain Questions... Health & Special Psychology

Then they never made up their minds about it in the first place.

Questions Certain People Why

Yes they did... the fact that they start to fight your reply (if not in agreement with them) is to show you just how much they have made up their minds. More so... usually relationships (no matter the depth of that relationship) is often at a fine line at this point because most in this #3 category become standoffish or different with you if they find that you cannot agree with them on something they believe is correct. If they are #1 or #2 then they usually remain the same because they see it as just your opinion and are not emotionally involved with it.

Questions Certain People Why

Okay but why is it for them so important what I think? If they made up their minds already it should no matter whether I agree with them or not, nevertheless I find they make great emphasis on MY opinion, I just don't get it. Let me illustrate my point with a fake example.

Person: I am planning to go out next month to Finland for a year. What do you think?

Me: Good, are you aware that it is real cold there?

Person: Well, I haven't thought about it.

Me: Well, it is something worth considering.

Person: What would you do?

Me: I would probably choose a Caribbean destination.

Person: But why? Many people choose to go to Finland, why do you think they want to stay?

Me: Maybe because they do not care about the weather at all.

Person: Well, isn't something good to not care about the weather at all? After all, there are so many beautiful places in Finland even if it is cold.

Me: Sure, personally I would not choose it because I do not like cold weather but I know there are people who are willing to put up with that then fine.

Person: Well, I really never heard anybody complaining about the weather and I spoke with several people.

And the conversation goes on and on and on and on.....

Why People Ask Certain Questions...

I think that the majority of people have already made their minds up before asking the question, but want to hear you say how good their choice is.
When your answer is different from theirs, I find they try to belittle you because you can't possibly right in the advice that you give...because it doesn't match up with what they've already set their minds to!
I normally find a way of jokingly saying "Why ask, if you already know the answer?" It normally gets my point across, and stops them from repeatedly going through the boring motion of asking you then doing the opposite!

Why People Certain Questions...

Like I said before, it is not so much that they want your opinion if they fall into group #3, it is just a matter of looking for those who will agree with them. If they view you as someone of significance then it will be important for them to have you be in agreement with them, because the more significant you are to them the more weight your nod of approval will give them, and thus they will have a greater peace of mind concerning their decision.

However, do not ever think for a second that you are the ONLY person with whom they look for approval - most times it is about numbers rather than individual perspectives if they are #3. Just because they ask you does not entirely make you special, it may actually make you a statistic - even a comparable statistic in which they can then say, "Well 'x' said it was the correct decision".

Why People Certain Questions... Psychology Special & Health

I believe that people always long for acceptance or need to belong to a social group. If someone has an opinion about something, they need their ideas to be reinforced by others, as a way of being accepted. If their ideas are rejected, they feel hurt and may try to convince the other individual, why their "thoughts" are valuable. For these individuals, it is very important for others to agree with them, in order to feel more secure about themselves. In other words, it gives them a sense of importance.