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Taking Responsibility For Child's Actions

Taking Responsibility For Child's Actions

Are you always upfront and ready to take responsibility for ALL your child's actions?

Actions Childs Responsibility Taking

As a parent you have to be ready to responsibility for your childs actions. After all it is you that is raising your children, therefore you are responsible for them. You are the ones who have gave the children their behavior. Teaching your children right and wrong is the parents responsibility.

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I agree with what knoran said about teaching children right from wrong but there is a time limit, in my opinion, for the parents to be COMPLETELY responsible for the child's actions. One of the most important lessons a child needs to learn to be a useful and productive citizen is consequences. According to most psychologists a child's personality and morals are "set" by the time they are five or six years of age. After that, whatever they have learned to that point becomes "hard wired" in their brains. This is the point from which responsibility for the child's actions becomes the CHILD'S responsibility. Though the parents, at least in the US are LEGALLY responsible for all the child's consequences until that child is 18 or immancipated.

My method with my children began at age 2 to make then aware of their consequences. I was of the opinion that my children younger than two were not developed enough to understand. Such things as spilling liquids or food was handled with "you made the mess, you clean it up" and I would supervise while the child attempted to repair the damage done. (Of course when they did their best, I sent them away and finished the job) If they broke something that could not be easily fixed or replaced, they were responsible for finding all the parts and if it was theirs it was thrown away and NEVER replaced, if it belonged to another family member they were made to give up something of their own to that family member that was to them of equal value with what they lost.

My son, who has ADHD, was goaded into shop lifting when he was 11. The store prosecuted and although he was so very young and all the rest of the offenders in his "class" were teens, he had to sit through a week of group councelling on the dangers and responsibilities of stealing. Of course, at his age, I had to go with him all the time. However, I was called within twenty minutes of his arrest and told why my son was at the jail and he had to sit there for three hours before I came to get him. I was upset with the police department because he was sitting in the lobby not a cell for that time. Their explaination was that they only had one holding cell and there already was an adult in that cell. But having to wait with nothing to do, in the police station was enough to teach him a lesson. That and he lost his bicycle ... for 3 YEARS. We thought it was stolen from the store parking lot but he did get it back because his grandfather had a police scanner and knew he had been arrested. Grandfather immediately went to the store and recovered his bicycle and held it, without telling any of our family that he had the bike, until Mike was 14.

Mike NEVER stole anything again.

Another incident with my son when he was 14 was that he got drunk one night. His friend brought him home. I did not lecture him that night, meerly told him he would have to clean up his own mess if he got sick and I told him he'd find out the consequences of his actions in the morning. No screaming, no corpral punishment, not even a lecture. Mike's hair was past his shoulderblades at the time. He was very proud of his appearance and his "punishment" for his actions was to sit in front of a mirror and watch me cut most of his hair off to "straighten out" the damage he had done while drunk to one side of his head. (He was playing pool and his hair kept getting in his eyes so he took a pair of scissors and cut off the "offending" lock of hair. He almost cut his scalp in the process.) Watching his long hair (his "pride and joy") fall from his head and having nearly a crew cut when I was done was enough to make him never touch alcohol again until he was 21. He does not like to drink, even now, he's 30.

In the process of teaching your children right from wrong, natural consequences of their actions should NEVER be hidden from them. I was willing to face the LEGAL responsibility, where it was mandated, but my children usually had to deal with even that, on their own. They would have to pay for what was damaged, or work it off for the person who they had trespassed against. All of my children were "trained" this way and they have all turned out fairly well.

Message Edited... Persephone: It is not necessary to quote the entire post of the user above you. See Constructive Posting Policy.

Actions Childs Responsibility Taking

You are right we should teach them to take responsibility. I know I have done that with my children as well. IF they want something they have to "sale" their mom with what they want and why they want it and what they are going to do to get it. THis way they are working towards a goal. We teach our children that nothing is for free and some things you really have to work for to get. This I think places value on items and they tend to treat that item better than something that is just handed to them.