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Autism & Being A Control Freak

Autism & Being A Control Freak

Each of my sons have a controlling nature, everything must go their way or they immediately become vocal about their displeasure and lack of patience / understanding.

One son in particular has it worst than the others and by definition he is very much a control freak where the most ridiculous things must go his way - it is very stressful to deal with this daily because in essence you cannot satisfy the whims and fancies he literally creates during the day. If you are the parent of an autistic child that is a control freak please share your experiences.

Freak Control Being and Autism

It's all about how kids on the spectrum manage their anxiety. That's why they exercise control. It's not because they are trying to be a pain in the rear end.

My kid needs to know where we are gong and what we are doing - all the time.

He has a problem with transitions. So now I tell him "Hey son, we are going to be going to Costco in the next ten minutes" And that seems to help.

Autism & Being A Control Freak Health & Special Psychology

In my one son's case he has serious anxiety issues and regardless to having a full schedule written and placed where he can always see it he still seeks to control (I am not joking about the following list):

1. When we should talk or not talk
2. When we should walk in our home or not walk
3. If we should have the use of the fan or not
4. There is more, too many to list

In addition to this he rather delights (Laughs and laughs) in teasing others, an unusual trait in the spectrum probably there due to his sever development delay, but he likes to see the reaction of those he teases. Sadly, he is grossly unaware that he hurts others in the process.

Freak Control Being and Autism

I wonder JB if your son has some sort of sensory disorder as well. As I watch my child who has a hard time with loud noises he himself can be extraordinarily loud and vocal. It's really weird. For the longest time he could only walk on the outside perimeter of a room he could never walk through around. He wanted all the furniture pushed towards the center of the room so he could walk around the outside. In therapy we worked predominately with distress tolerance.

The control part is difficult for me because I find myself wanting to for lack of a better word "Retaliate" ( just being very honest) by being controlling in my own way which doesn't help one bit. I then have to think about the fact that I am managing my own anxiety because I'm feeling anxious about the controlling nature that my son can be sometimes.

His big thing that we struggle with is under reporting - that has gotten worse with puberty. My son is going to be 14 and adolescence is just killing me.

Freak Control Being and Autism

Yes he does. Every little thing (Sound, light, movement) affects him. Just recently we had to order a couple of Howard Leight R-01526 Impact Sport Earmuff in preparation for fireworks in the area we were expecting that fortunately did not happen.

The hardest part is if it was just him and his issues to deal with then life will be easier but add to this equation two other special needs children who do not understand his issues and you have a lethal work load each day.

That's difficult.

I understand this well. It takes superior self-control to handle situations that can become explosive or terribly annoying. That is why we are supposed to be 'super' parents, but it can be so draining at times.

Amen to that. I exercise everyday, I'm vegan and I take vitamins and so forth to ensure I am in optimal mental and physical health in order to deal with this daily. I also use the night to recharge my own batteries so I do not 'lose my mind' so to speak.

Autism & Being A Control Freak

The thing is, even if you are lucky enough to control the need to retaliate, it is very hard when you have other kids in the spectrum (Especially high functioning) who get very upset at your lack of retaliation towards their sibling because they think their brother is "Faking it" Or "Getting his way without consequences" And they start having meltdowns or arguments about it and no matter how many times you try to explain what is happening, there is a refusal to even consider their sibling is severely autistic.

Autism & Being Control Freak

I have to use a lot of alternative directions to get my own away from whatever he wants to do that is not appropriate. Sadly, I think the main problem is that our little autistic bundle of joy tends to have his timing out of sync. Its not what he wants to do is so bad but just the time he wants to do it. Hopefully it gets better as he grows at least that's what I hope.

Autism & Being Control Freak Psychology Special & Health

Being in control beings peace of mind. Just think of what the opposite: out of control. Its hard to see this because we're already in control of ourselves but for the child with autism everything appears in chaoss and they need to set it in order.