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BAC of .3 percent..nuff said: QUOTE Drunken - Page 7 - Politics, Business, Civil, History - Posted: 8th Jun, 2009 - 4:58am
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Criminals Do The Strangest Things - Page 7
Dude...check me out...I'm looking fine in my Security Guard Uni today. I just know today's the day that that chick from the records department is going to find me irresistable!
There she is! OK, I will give her the Sexy Checkin Out the Grounds walk, turn and wave...
Darn, she shined me again. Not even as much as a wave or smile back! Cant, be! I was doing the walk and everything! Nah...this aint going down today, I got to get her to notice me!
Hmmm...yah know...I was watchin that Bodyguard movie the other day. That hottie was all over that bodyguard after someone tried to cap her...I GOT IT!
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| Hospital security guard charged with attacking co-worker Recommend (30) Comments January 14, 2009 FROM STNG WIRE REPORTS A hospital security guard was charged with attacking a co-worker while wearing a mask, then "coming to her rescue" after she allegedly ignored his romantic advances Sunday in the Hyde Park neighborhood. Donquila Butler, 29, of the 4600 block of South Prairie Avenue, was charged with felony unlawful restraint at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, according to police. Butler, who was employed as a security guard at the University of Chicago Hospitals, is expected to appear in Cook County Criminal Court, for a bond hearing later Wednesday, police said. On Sunday, Butler waved to a 19-year-old female co-worker whom he found romantically attractive. The woman, who works in the records department at the same hospital, ignored him as she had done numerous times in the past when he has tried to talk to her, police said. The wave brush-off enraged him and at 12:10 p.m. Butler allegedly put on a ski mask and a hood and went to her work area. He allegedly grabbed her by the throat and said, "Shut the f--- up before I kill you right here,"" police said. Butler ran away when other hospital employees who were walking by saw the incident. They called hospital security and, shortly afterward, he "responds to his own call'' without the mask and hood but the woman identified him. Wentworth Area detectives are investigating. |
That is right! In the bizzaro land of criminality, strangulation and threats of death equals love and affection!
Edited: Vincenzo on 15th Jan, 2009 - 7:41amInternational Level: International Guru / Political Participation: 863 
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Things Strangest The Criminals
Man, Rico doesnt like me dealin on his turf! Got 2 dudes packin over there watchin me. I gotta get rid of these guys if I am to do a little business. Where are cops when you need them?
Hmmm...I got a idea to get me a few cops in the area to scare off these guys.
911: 911 Operator
Guy: Cool, 911 right?
911: Yes, sir this is 911 can I help you in some way tonight?
Guy: Yeah. I mean YES you can! There are like these 2 dudes across the street and they look like they got guns and are starin at me.
911: So you feel that they are threatening you?
Guy: Yeah. I am like really scared for my life. Hey...could you hold on a sec?
911: Are they moving towards you sir?
Guy: Just hold on a sec. OK?
911: Alright sir..
Guy: So what do you need? A ten pack? A ten pack, alright.
911: Sir did you just make a drug deal?
Guy: No! NO WAY... I was tellin those guys to step back...STEP BACK! Please come, I am scared!
911: Dont worry sir...an officer will be there shortly! (LAUGHTER ENSUES AFTER THE PHONE CALL ENDS)
| QUOTE |
| Associated Press Published: February 3, 2009 CLEVELAND-Police in Cleveland say a man who called 911 put the dispatcher on hold to make a drug deal. Police say the 20-year-old man called 911 Saturday night to report that two men with guns were watching him near West 44th and Clark Avenue and hung up. The dispatcher called him back, and during the call the man asked the dispatcher to hold on and made a drug deal. A voice can be heard on the recording saying, "What you need? A 10-pack? A 10-pack, alright." A 10-pack is slang for a bundle of heroin. The dispatcher called police, who saw the man crossing a street and found crack cocaine in his pants. The man, who didn't have identification, was arrested and taken to jail. A message seeking comment was left Tuesday with a police spokesman. |
The truly scary part is that these stupid ideas have to work sometimes or they would try them SOOOOO often!
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Criminals Do The Strangest Things History & Civil Business Politics
I saw this one on CNN, you can't get more stupid than that. If you are in the "bizzness" then you can't expect the law to be helping you. 
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Page 7 Things Strangest The Criminals
Rule #1:
Cops dont give out hugs...ever!
| QUOTE |
| Drunken man just wanted a hug from an Ann Arbor police officer by Art Aisner | The Ann Arbor News Ann Arbor Police say a drunken Superior Township man became disorderly when a police sergeant refused to hug him on Thursday. Officers responded to the area of Main and Ann streets at about 5 p.m. After people reported an intoxicated man yelling at people and walking in the streets. An officer guided the man from the middle of Ann Street, and the man said he would leave. As he walked away, police said, the 44-year-old man approached a parked patrol car and began yelling at the officer in it. He asked the officer for a hug and swore at him for refusing, while still blocking eastbound traffic on Ann Street, reports said. Officers arrested him and detained him at the police station until he sobered up, reports said. He refused a breathalyzer test. The man could face disorderly conduct charges, police said. |
Couldnt someone from the bar he was just at have given him a hug...that was all he wanted!
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Things Strangest The Criminals
College Classroom
Christopher, please give your marketing pitch to the class.
Hi, my name is Christopher Maxon. My friends call me Max because I always take it to extremes. I can kick it back, max and relax at anytime, when I have my wingman...Bruga Dominican Rum. "Book" the right rum for your next party...a jailbreak, toasting the opening of a new park or just hiding in the bushes. Burga Dominican!
| QUOTE |
| Police didn't have to look far for underage drinkers By Julie Manganis Staff writer SALEM - It's hard to imagine a less likely place for three college students to do some underage drinking than the parking lot of a police station. But that's exactly what three Salem State College students were caught doing early Saturday morning. Now they'll spend the next six months on unsupervised probation, after admitting they were sharing a bottle of rum right outside the Salem police headquarters on Margin Street. "You guys picked a great place to drink," Judge Richard Mori told them in Salem District Court yesterday. It all started when Thomas McCarthy, 18, of 115 Weatherly Drive; Wayne Kenneth Renard Jr., 18, of 1011âÑ2 Ocean Ave.; and Christopher Maxon, 18, of 5 Williams St., went down to the station to report that one of them was the victim of a hit-and-run accident, Salem police Lt. Conrad Prosniewski said. They were asked to wait for an officer on patrol to come into the station to take their report.The three decided to wait outside - and apparently kill some time with a 1.75-liter bottle of Bruga Dominican rum. When Sgt. Richard Gagnon and Patrolman Fred Ryan pulled into the station parking lot, they noticed the three young men in the hedge behind the Police Department's sign, Prosniewski said. Maxon and Renard were arrested after police confirmed that they were underage, Prosniewski said. McCarthy took off on foot and was arrested after a brief chase a couple of blocks away on High Street.Charges of being minors in possession of alcohol and public drinking were continued without a finding for six months. If the three stay out of further trouble, their cases will be dismissed.The judge asked the three their majors - "not criminal justice, I hope," he said. Maxon said he's a marketing major. McCarthy is studying sports, fitness and leisure. Renard is undeclared.Cesar Archilla, who represented Maxon, said outside court that he couldn't explain the teens' decision-making process that night. |
At least the judge had some fun!
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OH yeah, I have had it with those neighbors. Their beady little eyes judging my every movement. Oh yeah, I will show them...them and that stupid mailbox. TAKE THIS!
| QUOTE |
| Yorktown man arrested on exposure charge By NICK WERNER "¢ nwerner@muncie.gannett.com "¢ March 11, 2009 YORKTOWN - A man arrested for allegedly masturbating at his mailbox Tuesday afternoon told police he was showing his neighbors "who was boss," according to police reports. Daniel T. Doster Jr., 42, 8501 W. Pleasant Road, faces preliminary charges of vicarious sexual gratification, a class D felony carrying a maximum three-year prison term. According to witness accounts, Doster's behavior took place while a 19-month old neighbor boy was playing in his yard with his mother. Tuesday was Doster's second arrest since Jan. 20 on allegations that he was masturbating by his mailbox. Doter is facing a charge of public indecency in Muncie City Court in connection with the Jan. 20 arrest. Yorktown officer Mike Daugherty arrested Doster around 4:30 p.m. "Once I read him his rights, Daniel admitted to me that he was standing at the mailbox masturbating to show his neighbors who was boss," Daugherty wrote in the probable cause affdavit. |
How you go from being upset with your neighbors to defiling your mailbox, I will never know. However, I would seriously recommend he not try this in jail.
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See, this is what happens when you have too much Bruga Dominican Rum. You have to monitor the power of such a fine beverage!
| QUOTE |
| Naked man sought karate fight GETTYSBURG, Pa., March 10 (UPI) -- Authorities in Pennsylvania said a man pleaded guilty to indecent exposure after he emerged naked from his home and challenged his neighbors to a karate fight. Gary Jones, 47, pleaded guilty to a first-degree misdemeanor charge. Three children less than 16 years of age were among those who saw him walk out of his house naked, The (Hanover, Pa.) Evening Sun reported Tuesday. Jones, of Gettysburg, was sentenced to one month in jail followed by two months of house arrest and 21 months of probation. He was also ordered to avoid contact with his neighbors and to pay a $200 fine. Police said Jones emerged naked from his home after consuming alcohol Aug. 1 and approached neighbors Dennis Hucks, Gary Kerns and Andrea Orndorff while Huck's three children played nearby. He told the men that he knew karate and asked if any of them wanted to fight. Jones allegedly told officers that he knew leaving his house naked was illegal, but he came out anyway because he is a "serious martial artist." |
'Nuff said! Enjoy three 4 Thursday's criminal report.
Edited: Vincenzo on 12th Mar, 2009 - 2:12amInternational Level: International Guru / Political Participation: 863 86.3%
Criminals Do The Strangest Things
Now Joey, you go get ready. We got to hurry up and find that "no good" Tommy Smith, so you can kick his little butt and get your sweetie back. This is going to be such a great day! Your first fight... Oh, I remember when you were filling your shorts full of pooh and look at you now - a really killer! I couldnt be any prouder.
Hey, what do you say we ask that nice man next door to get your butt kicking on video so we can put it on UTube?
| QUOTE |
| Woman charged with bringing nephew near school for assault By Marci Laehr Tenuta Journal Times Wednesday, March 25, 2009 5:20 PM CDT RACINE - Charges have been filed against a 37-year-old Mount Pleasant woman who allegedly brought her nephew near Park High School Tuesday afternoon to assault another teen, and allowed a neighbor to videotape the attack. Rachel Rangel of 2730 Eaton Lane was charged Wednesday with party to the crime of child abuse and intentionally contributing to the delinquency of a minor in Racine County Circuit Court. If convicted she faces up to 12 years in prison. According to Racine police, Rangel drove her 13-year-old nephew, who she is the legal guardian of, to the 1000 block of Horlick Drive near Park High School just after 3 p.m. Tuesday so that he could assault a 15-year-old boy. The victim, who is a Park student, told officers that his ex-girlfriend asked him to walk her home and he agreed. While they were walking on Horlick Drive, the 13-year-old - who is apparently the girl's current boyfriend - came running at him and began to punch him in the head and face, reports said. The victim fell to the ground during the attack and struck his head. The teen then ran home. He was later taken to Wheaton Franciscan-All Saints hospital, 3801 Spring St., for treatment. While talking to police, the victim said an adult woman had driven the 13-year-old suspect to Horlick Drive and taken him from the scene. The victim also said a man was videotaping the assault. Police found the 13-year-old suspect and took him into custody for battery and strong armed robbery, because he allegedly took the 15-year-old boy's backpack and threw it in the Root River during the assault. The 13-year-old was transported to the Racine County Juvenile Detention Center. Officers then spoke with Rangel, who allegedly admitted she drove her nephew to Park High School, knowing that he intended to attack the 15-year-old. She said her neighbor used her video camera to tape the assault. |
You think that mom might have had a few disfunctional relationships in the past?
Edited: Vincenzo on 26th Mar, 2009 - 7:27amInternational Level: International Guru / Political Participation: 863 86.3%
Criminals The Strangest Things - Page 7
Lawyer: As your lawyer, I recommend that you do not take the stand in this case.
Client (Mr Williams): Nah...I am taken the stand...Gotta make sure the judge "feels" me on this one. Shoot, let me tell them how it is and it will be cool baby...dont sweat it!
COURT
Lawyer: Judge I am going to prove that my client killed the man in question through a crime of passion. He was driven to this act after finding out his girlfriend was cheating on him...this was no murder. Unfortunately, it was manslaughter brought about by his passion for his girlfriend.
Judge: Very well, proceed.
Lawyer: Mr Williams, is Ms. X your girlfriend?
Client: Yeah, one of them. I got like 19 you know. Gotta keep it real and spread a good thing like me around. Check it, I got this one..
Lawyer: Ummm...yes...so Ms. X was your girlfriend and you love her deeply right? That is why you killed the man right?
Client: Yeah, Yeah...sure she was. She is a bit pissed about me capin that dude, so we havent been...you know "intimate" in a while. She will come around though when I get that record deal that is gonna make me HOT HOT HOT! Laid down some tracks that were totally bumpin G! Got this girl that was like all over me when I was free formin on the mic...she was all into my stuff. Ahhh...dude...you would be so hot for her...when we hit it after this I can hook you up!
Yeah...I killed him. But hey, it wasnt like those other dude that I know got bumped off. Bootsey got popped while he was hittin the bong. Pipe blew all up in his face. 5-0 still havent found his stuff yet. It isnt like I was tryin to hide it. I could have burried him like they did Little Jo.
Lawyer: So you love her right?
Client: Oh yeah, I love her...Got mad respect for her. The other 19 arent too bad either...HAHAHAHHA...if ya know what I mean. But hey, if she is gonna get all bent about this capin stuff then she can hit the road...aint no big thang.
Lawyer Cries...head held low and rest his case.
DA: Please look at the tape. Do you see yourself shooting the man? Do you notice how you were looking around to make sure you werent seen? Do you notice that you are wearing gloves and a ski mask?
Client: Awww...this is bogus! 5-0 has souped that video up. Did Mark Furhman shoot this stuff?
DA: Did you shoot the man?
Client: Yes but it was like passion that drove me to it?
Judge: You are guilty of 1st degree murder.
Client: My Lawyer SUCKED...this aint fair!
| QUOTE |
| Sometimes, defendants do the darndest things By Daniel Malloy, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Mr. Williams, the homicide defendant, made it through only two lawyers. He fired veteran public defender Christopher Patarini, resulting in the appointment of Mr. Walker. Mr. Williams tried to fire Mr. Walker mid-trial, but Allegheny County Common Pleas Judge Randal B. Todd wouldn't allow it. Mr. Walker's defense rested on the fact that Mr. Williams' girlfriend had been cheating on him with the victim, 30-year-old Kenneth Woods. Mr. Walker argued that it was a passion killing and asked for a voluntary manslaughter verdict. Standing before Judge Todd in the nonjury proceeding, Mr. Williams swiftly torpedoed Mr. Walker's argument by saying the girlfriend meant little to him because they were in an open relationship. He said he knew about several more homicides, but he would never snitch. He said he wrote raps and poetry and he had been close to signing a $1 million contract before his arrest. And Mr. Williams admitted to the killing but said police "sabotaged" a surveillance video that captured the shooting. Assistant District Attorney Rob Schupansky, who could barely contain his glee, was brief in his cross-examination. "Did you shoot Kenneth Woods on the 16th of June, 2008?" "Yes," Mr. Williams replied. After Judge Todd delivered the first-degree murder verdict, Mr. Williams piped up, insisting that his counsel was ineffective. "I think if I assigned you Johnnie Cochran, you would still be dissatisfied," Judge Todd said, referring to the lawyer who represented O.J. Simpson in a double homicide trial. "You insisted, against [Mr. Walker's] advise, to testify and that hurt your case quite a bit, do you understand that?" Mr. Williams replied, "Yes, I do." |
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Criminals The Strangest Things Politics Business Civil & History - Page 7
BAC of .3 percent..nuff said:
| QUOTE |
| Drunken Slip "n Sliding: Police say intoxicated woman stripped, tried to slide in neighbor's yard By ANNE JUNGEN | ajungen@lacrossetribune.com A La Crosse woman on a court order not to consume alcohol drank herself to a 0.30 percent blood-alcohol content, stripped to her underwear and attempted to use her neighbor's yard waterslide, police said. A homeowner on the 900 block of Winneshiek Road reported a woman wearing only bra and thong panties was trying to use a Slip "n Slide with a 5-year-old boy about 6 p.m. Wednesday, according to La Crosse police reports. Officers found Margaret Bachop, 41, on the front steps of her home at 1204 Winneshiek Road, screaming about lost keys, according to reports. Another nearby neighbor reported Bachop had run into her yard and wrapped herself in bed sheets from a clothesline. Bachop is expected to be charged Thursday in La Crosse County Circuit Court with lewd and lascivious behavior and disorderly conduct. She was released from the La Crosse County Jail on Thursday on a $200 signature bond. |
At least little Johnny now knows what a Thong is...
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TOPIC: Criminals Do The Strangest Things