Name: Marcia
Comments: Hello everyone. I'm looking for some advice and I would appreciate your feedback. I have been married to my Priesthood holder husband for the past 7 years. We have two wonderful kids together (Ages 5 and 3) but married life hasn't been happy from the start and I feel like I committed a serious mistake.
My husband used to be very affectionate when we were dating and very much active in the Church and that's what I loved the most about him but then when we got married everything started to change suddenly, he started to complain about everything, wanted to be intimate way too often and would treat me poorly by calling me ugly names and telling me I'm not good enough for him. Sad.gif It devastated me, I tried my best to make him happy but he would go out late at night with friends and I would find him smelling to cigarettes and alcohol but he would deny it.
Sometime last year, I discovered he was cheating on me with prostitutes. It took him a very long time to confess but eventually did and I was willing to work with him to make our marriage work because I feel I did something that caused him to do the things he did. He said I was to blame because I don't want to be intimate with him but how could I be if he treats me this way?
Anyways, right now he is out of town and I feel I just cannot continue like this anymore. I want to make this work but he doesn't seem to be interested. Please help!
What makes you think he isn't interested? Did you guys talk to the Bishop? There is always two sides of every story but something about this one doesn't sound right to me. I don't think any man suddenly leaves his wife and cheats on her for no reason, I think there is something more you aren't telling us?
Marcia I'm very sorry about the struggles you're going through but do you really love him to the point of being treated this way and your children witnessing this kind of abuse? I cannot tell you that you should divorce him but please pray a lot because it sounds like your kids will suffer a lot, you deserve better.
Sounds like your husband is having some issues. Are you sure he stopped cheating on you? If I was you I would be checking a divorce lawyer and get my finances ready because he isn't willing to work in the marriage why would you stay and suffer, it makes little sense and you have two children that need a healthy mother.
Being a sensitive empathic male, I can address some of what you ask, but regular males baffle me, more then females do.
In the beginning when someone turns of emotionally, then they most likely felt offended and or hurt, by some action; some times by guilt. Tossing out some feelings and ideas, I have gathered from education and from the Spirit.
It almost sounds like he got bored or realize after he married you, you were not want he wanted, or he felt trapped in a relationship that was not satisfying. Males are good at compartmentalizing their feelings, to survive; which can lead to situations like this. Sensitive males are more apt to not speak out, and act out in this way, if they feel they are not listened too and their feelings are not validated.
But from my point of view, doing what he did was inexcusable behavior. My past X was mentally and verbally abusive to me and our son. I took it for 17 years, I guess like the Jews in exile in Babylon. It was then that the Holy Spirit of Promise came to me,, and told me it was undone and I could leave, in fact, I should flee. But I did not act, until God gave me permission to leave. Until then, I honored my wife the best I could and my Temple Covenants, it was only until my health got worse from it, that the Lord said go.
That's terrible. No matter what others say I would divorce and move out. Cheating on one person is one thing but using prostitutes means different women and the chance of giving you disease!