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Mormon Singles Depression

Does being single make you feel depressed sometimes? What do you do to overcome your low esteem?

Depression Singles Mormon

There was a talk by Elder Oaks at a CES fireside that really helped me a few months ago. Here is one excerpt that specifically addresses the sisters' concerns as singles:

Full text: https://lds.org/library/display/0,4945,538-1-3100-1,00.html

Although those words were geared toward sisters, I also found that just doing good things and keeping myself busy being productive in school and work, my loneliness and frustration were cut short - I didn't have time for them. Then, eventually the activities in which I was participating led me to a great romance.

Mormon Singles Depression Studies Doctrine Mormon

I do have times when I get discouraged, mainly because there seems to be such a lack of active participants in the single's activities that are sponsored by the church. I make such an effort to encourage others to attend, even to the point of driving the carpool for *every* monthly fireside/potluck and temple trips... I don't understand why only 3-4 people show, when we have over 100 singles who are over 30 in our ward alone (and there are 10 wards/branches in the stake).

Also, when I see the married couples' friendships, I sometimes feel left out--which I didn't a couple of years ago.

To combat this, I concentrate on other areas of my life; as the article states, "make a life for yourself." Maybe it isn't much of a life, but it's mine. I focus on my family, and work, and trying to enjoy the time I have with my daughter. I work on improving my knowledge of the gospel, my own personal salvation, and teaching my daughter what she needs to know (appropriate to her age). And, of course, other "self-improvement" projects

Depression Singles Mormon

I have looked for that someone for over 34 years and well there is just so many times you can hold a piece of candy out and then take it away when they reach for it before you realise they won't give it to you.. I feel that way about getting married now days. so I just look for friends, with a hope that something might develope. but I feel now also that my time here on earth is growing short because of health concerns. and well why fight it when you have nobody to care for you.
and I feel the world would be better off without me. another reason not to fight the enevitable. so I just live according to the teachings and standards of the church and help out where I can for now.

Depression Singles Mormon

Interesting topic. I recently turned 41, and I am going through a divorce from a marriage of almost 9 years. Turns out that my wife just does not love me, and as she puts it, does not think that she can be happy being married to me. Tried to get her to go to counceling, etc, but all for nothing. That is what she has chosen, end of story. I am heart broken over it, especially for our two young boys. But what can you do. Even when bishops blessings tell her that this decision is not guided by the spirit. She even tells of how she has fasted and prayed, and felt calm over her decision. Anyway, when there is a husband that wants to work it out, and is willing to do anything for his family, I just dont really see the lord telling her that she is doing the correct thing.

Anyway, I am getting off topic. I too am curious about how this is going to go. I have spent the last 9 years building everything around my family, that now I find myself with not much else in their abscence. So I am just trying to concentrate on the gospel, getting comfortable in my new ward, and trying to pick up some new hobbies. Maybe learning the guitar and starting to paint again. Then work during the days, and as much time with my boys as allowed. Other than that, I just am not quite sure how it will go, we will just have to see.

I was sad to read the comments of dispair from others on this subject. I can see how it is sometimes hard since everything in the church is so focused on the family unit. The only thing I can say is that our time here on earth is fleeting, and in a blink of an eye it will be gone. So I say to have faith, and that the time will come when the loneliness and pain will be but a distant and VERY short memory. Until then we do our best and pray for the lords blessings. I say this because this is what I am currently doing.

Larry

Edited: utahfuntimes on 20th Aug, 2005 - 9:38pm

Mormon Singles Depression

I've been single for a long time now, and can't even imagine things changing. My married life seems like another person's existence, long ago in a galaxy far, far away. But, for those who are newly single, I would like to say that it's really not so bad when you get used to it! In fact, it's a LOT better than living with an unfaithful and unloving mate, which I have done, or an abusive mate, which many others have done and are doing. The key is to count your blessings and enjoy the positives. There are a lot of great things about being single. I went to a singles fireside once and a former single gave a talk about how much she missed the good things about being single. So, try to enjoy your independence! Lots of room in the bed and the closets and cabinets. Sole control of the remote! You can decide how to spend your own money. You can decide where to go on your vacation. You can decide what to eat, and when, and what kind of music to listen to, and what movies to watch, and when you need to vacum or do the laundry. If you're grumpy and tired after work, you don't have to be patient and kind with anyone. Your home is always peaceful: no arguments or yelling!

Okay, so there are a few bad moments. You sit down to pick up the Ensign, and it's full of articles about marriage and families. So you close it and toss it aside: nothing for me this month! Or you go to a ward fireside and everybody's sitting in pairs with their arms around each other's shoulders. Or they announce a Relief Society event and say "bring your husband or a date" (yeah, right). But I say to myself, the Lord evidently wants me single at this point, for whatever reason, so that's what I want too.

Mormon Singles Depression

SINGLE LIFE STINKS! People are telling me to enjoying being single, I'm sorry, but I don't like being single. I would rather have the complex life of being married then the so called "freedom" of being single. I do get depressed, how do I deal with it? I honestly don't know when I get depressed I just get how, either by talking to my mom or gf. Or hang out with married people.

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I guess at this point in my life, I don't really have time to *not* be single. I am finishing my BA and going on for my MA and ultimately my MD. (I hope that wasn't too many abbreviations!) I would dearly love to be settled down and married with happy, healthy babies coming into my life, but that is not what things are about for me now. I accept that when it is the right time for me that I will know what the future holds. Maybe it will be that I am not meant for that sort of life, I will still love those I hold dear and be the same person I am....

(It doesn't help when we have couples-night events. I do get melancholy at not having that sort of closeness.)