Anxiety Has Taken Over My Life...
Dear Dr. Schwartz,
I currently am a full time worker for NYS and am 23 years old. My first experience with anxiety happened my junior year in High School when I was in a Medical Technology class and a girl next to me fainted. I, myself have fainted before and it never effected me the way it did that day. When it happened, I didn't know what was wrong with her and immediately started to sweat, panic and ran out of the classroom. I went to the nurse and she told me I probably had a mild anxiety attack and had me lie down for awhile. I went about my day like normal - until the following day when I returned to the classroom. The moment I walked into the door it was unbelieveably terrifying. The smell of the room, the sight of the girl, everything about it scared me like I was walking on death row. I started to cry for no reason and got the same exact feeling I did the day before and left school. I almost didnt graduate becuase of this. Everytime I returned to school I immediately got the same fear and had to somehow leave. I was tutored for 4 months and managed to pass by the skin of my teeth.
Since then, I have seen numerous Doctors to try and help me but I can't seem to get past the 1st visit without literally running out of the office. I am absolutely petrified of Doctors and anything that has to do with them, period. My anxiety and new found phobias (elevators, crowded places, long distance traveling, heights, closed areas, heat, death - the list goes on) seem to be progressively getting worse. I am so depressed over it and I just think this is the last step for me. I am on medication that my Primary Care Physician has prescribed for me (Xanax) that seems to be the ONLY thing that will calm me down and I am sick of taking it.
I am only 23 years old and can't even walk into a mall without fearing for my life. It's so depressing and scary beyond belief. It's strange that I can write about this all day long but the moment I am face to face with someone talking about it, I clam up and cry.
I just don't understand this and I wish I did, or knew how I could be normal. If you have any help or information for me, please let me know. I really could use it.
Thanks for your time. I really appreciate it.
Sincerely, September3
Source: Mental Help Net Questions and Answers
Evolutionary changes in brain potentially make us more prone to anxiety. Neurochemicals such as serotonin and dopamine play crucial roles in cognitive and emotional functions of our brain. Vesicular monoamine transporter 1 (VMAT1) is one of the genes responsible for transporting neurotransmitters and regulating neuronal signaling. A research team has reconstructed ancestral VMAT1 proteins, revealing the functional changes in neurotransmitter uptake of VMAT1 throughout the course of human evolution. Source 8i.
I'm actually working in getting done a full evaluation by my therapist myself, but I've definitely seen all the signs myself when it comes to anxiety.
Not to the point where I break down crying, or feel like throwing up. Yet with constant doubts, worries, uncertainties, and just general stresses weighing me. Where I often feel I have so little of my life I can control, and worrying about my future, doubting myself that I'll be able to turn things around, or ever get to the point where I'll have the stability of holding down a job, getting my own home, and even eventually have a family… Often feeling my life is just too much of a mess to ever become who I want to be or fulfill any of my goals for the future… Adding to with is concerns of depression. Sighs
Yet hopefully, working with my therapist, I'll be able to work things out. Especially with people like my grandmother supporting me and believing in me… even if I don't always believe in myself. Which is something my therapist noticed pretty quickly, was self esteem issues as well.