Ah, Christmas. A joyous time. A time to get together with family and friends and reflect on how grateful you all are for what you have. A time for feasting, merrymaking, laughter, and enjoyment. A time for being alone with absolute difficulty, never having quiet, always busy providing food and entertainment for your guests, music and voices reverberating through the house. A constant hum from ceiling fans, kettles boiling, children screaming, bass transmitting through the walls, and a complete lack of opportunity for intimacy.
How grateful are you that Christmas is over?
I must say, that finding ROK just before Christmas has helped me tremendously staying grounded. Ducking away furtively to keep track of my character (RIP) was very useful, when no other chances were there to take time out to relax.
If anybody has useful tips for functioning in similar environments, please don’t hesitate to let myself and others know.
Happy New Years to all.
Well first, find out what you are able to handle. What you limits are I think, and make sure to step away when you need a breather from the hustle and bustle. Maybe take conversations in short bursts and make sure not to be in the middle of things.
Where I have found that I can still be friendly and enjoy myself when getting together with family, as long as I keep a handle on how much I am exposed too at one time. Often keeping to the sides of the room, before moving in to greet people, talk with them a bit, and then head back. That, and often by simply not doing as much of the talking, listening and observing. Then even going outside for a few moments, giving myself space away from people, before heading back in.
Not sure if this will help everyone, but I found this worked for me during this holiday season.
Sound advice. Now you mention it, I was doing similar things to you. Having that momentary break was enough to get by.
The problems come when you duck outside and people follow, whether because they believe you are doing something and need help, or just want to continue any conversation. They’re only trying to help, or doing what is societally normal, so getting irate isn’t constructive.
Explaining the rules of UNO twenty times to an intoxicated family member when they were seemingly self evident was my limit. After storming out… he now assumes I just don’t like UNO...
Sighs… Yes, it can admittedly make things a bit more of a challenge when you have people not willing to give you space when you need it. That when you step away or go outside they follow. In such cases you sometimes just have to try to be straight forward and tell them as nicely as you can that you want to be alone.
Mentioning you have bad gas is also an excellent deterrent, especially when true. You seem like the good guy, they’re grateful; win/win.
So I should probably also mention, that as long as it stays to just one person, I'm usually pretty good at handling talking to someone even when I'm starting to get a little overwhelmed. Though admittedly, in general, I tend to do better with one-on-one conversations than talking with a group.
Standard Aspie profile. Do you also spend most of the time listening and analysing, only to find that when you finally pipe up with something relevant you haven’t to avert your eyes as the attention falls on you, only to lose your train of thought as you begin analysing the hypothetical reactions of others to your averted gaze?