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Should You Refer To Yourself As An Autism Parent?

We live in a world of political correctness where sometimes asking a question can be seen as anarchy or rebellion, but in my book asking a question has to do with learning. Autism is no different.

I recently joined another Autism related group that became emotional because I use the term 'Autism Dad' or 'Autism Parent' they felt I should not use either. Funny enough, my original post was about stress and how parents who have autistic children should talk about their stress, however they chose to focus on my reference to being an 'Autism Dad'. A couple commented that by using these terms such parents were looking for sympathy because they have autistic children. I mentioned that I could say, "I am the Dad of three Autistic children" but it seems that was not good enough so they said I should just use "Dad".

While I understand what they are saying… just saying "Dad" does not give me a voice for the voiceless and puts me in a wider pool of people that are already 'dads'. My children are neglected by society and I am very strong in my representation of their rights not being fulfilled. My children are not the problem but the system is… so my question to you (If you are Autistic)... Does saying "Autism Parent" offend you to such a degree that you become emotional about it? If you are a parent of an Autistic child… do you feel you should not mention the word "Autism" with regards to your children? Should groups and organizations that use the term "Autism" such as "Autism Parents" change their name? What are your thoughts?

Here are some related Topics connected to my recent investigations:
* Which Symbol Should Be Used To Represent Autism?
* Your Perspective: Positive Autism vs Negative Autism

Parent Autism As Yourself Refer Should

Name: Jade

Comment: It doesn't offend me as parents who have autistic children do struggle a lot. My mum struggled with me a lot and didn't have anyone to turn to. The struggle is real but I think people take it in an offensive way as many think that they are undesirable because they are on the spectrum, but there are issues and we need to work together to fix them.

Should You Refer To Yourself As An Autism Parent? Health & Special Psychology

Name: Cindy
Title: Should you refer to yourself as Autism Parent

Comments: I have No problem saying or hearing someone use the term Autism parent. That is what we are, correct. I get so tired of the need to be politically correct only because they keep changing the terminology of the politically correct terminology. Let's stop focusing on the terminology and focus on the fact that we all have something in common and we could actually help & support one another.

Parent Autism As Yourself Refer Should

Name: Angel
Country:

Title: Autism Dad

Comments: You are a dad to an Autistic child.

You aren't an Autism dad. You aren't Autistic so the phrase doesn't necessarily make sense.

Also, talking about being stressed is fine. Many parents are but remembering to not place blame on the child is the main concern. I'm not stress because my child is Autistic. I am stressed because they don't always have the support and resources out in the world. I'm stressed because some people aren't accepting of them being Autistic.

Parent Autism As Yourself Refer Should

Now here is the interesting thing about this… this topic can become very emotional with some people. Here is an example that reinforces why some people see asking a question as anarchy. In a certain group, I used the term "Autism Dad" numerous times. In fact, I even put up a poster about it. It was fine and undisturbed… many people liked it, however… when I asked a question about using 'Autism Dad' suddenly I was the bat out of hell. The main problem with online communities is they do not observe but speak off the cuff without trying to understand what is being asked. Also, because you ask a question one must not insist you accept the answer given and for the reasons given unless we are of course mindless and not able to make up our own mind / thoughts.

Now the other observation is that there are many views on this from both Parents of autistic children and even those who are Autistic. In other words, there is not a cast in concrete answer because some who see nothing wrong with it and others that do. While some Autistic persons will insist their view is the correct view they must understand that others who are also Autistic will disagree with them and you know what… that is OK!

You see, I just went and asked one of my own children and they had no problem with it. Additionally, I am seeing some say here and elsewhere the same. Even so, I will in the future refer to myself as a Dad of Autistic children when the need arises. I used the term 'Autism Parent' before simply because the wider groups of Autism Parents who gather refer to themselves as that almost like a code, but I think I know better now.

Should You Refer To Yourself As An Autism Parent?

Name: Kayley

Comments: No I don't hate that I just don't like when they use autism parent as it sounds like they are trying to identify with a diagnosis they don't have but if they make it clear and say they are a parent of a autistic person then I support that.

Should Refer Yourself As Autism Parent

Name: Kelly

Comments: I’m not a fan of the term. It can cause confusion in regards to parents like my partner. He is an ‘autistic dad’ as he personally has autism. Plus we have two children, only one of which is showing autism signs. To say we are ‘autism parents’ would be neglecting our non autistic child. Lastly, as much as I know autism affects everyday life, it’s not my son’s sole defining feature. I don’t want him growing up thinking the only important aspect of his life is his disability. It is a part of him, not the sum of his parts.

Should Refer Yourself As Autism Parent Psychology Special & Health

Hello I am Alex,

As a father with Aspergers and also realizing I am on a separate part of the spectrum from those with full blown Autism, I find that it might confuse others that you are a parent with an Autism diagnosis, rather than being the parent of children with Autism.

As for referencing yourself at all in conversation about being a parent of children with Autism, could it be seen as a look for sympathy? Sure, and that is fine, a parent should look for sympathy in society for their children, the world tends to be harsh and inconsiderate of others problems, to acknowledge and ask others to relate or to at the very least read up on a diagnosis, how is that different from anything else we do as parents?

Edit:Yes, I am saying often times parenting does not only consist of teaching our children to deal with the world around them, but also teaching society to understand our children.

Edited: Alextcooper on 2nd Jul, 2019 - 3:10pm