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How do you measure Successful Parenthood?

Sometimes I heard the phrase 'He's a succesful father' or a 'successful mother' but what really makes a father or a mother successful. How do you measure it?.

Parenthood Successful measure you How

That is a really tough question to answer, because it's subjective.  What do *you* consider "success" in parenting?  For some people, it means having children that actually lived past their teenage years (meaning the parents didn't kill them!).  For others, it could mean having a strong relationship with their kids, even if the kids are not living church standards.  For others, it means all their kids are active in church, were sealed in the temple, and have stable, happy home lives.

All of us have our own standards as a measurement for success with our kids.  I still haven't decided if I'm a success or not; my kids aren't old enough for me to judge.  (yes, my son will soon be 21, but he has yet to have a significant life event to determine who he is.)  So my criteria for my success as a parent is how my children will live their lives.  Do they have any common sense?  Can they make important decisions (or any decisions at all) well?  How do they treat other people in every day life, and especially in difficult situations?  Do they follow through on promises?  etc.

In my opinion, of course.

Roz

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I agree with FarSeer because the idea of successful parenting is subjective, depending on culture and perceptions.

I'm not close to being a parent, but I will say that my parents raised us as independent young adults, while at the same time, providing a strong support system for us to fall back on if need be.

We were not raised in a religious home, but one thing for certain, we always knew we were loved....and I think thats the bottom line for successful parenting

Parenthood Successful measure you How

For me it is simple... if the end the children love their parents and their parents love their children, wasn't / isn't it successful?

Parenthood Successful measure you How

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For me it is simple... if the end the children love their parents and their parents love their children, wasn't / isn't it successful?

Simple enough.  But I'm not sure it tells the whole story.  I will always love my children -- no matter what happens.  I'm sure you've seen the news stories of the mothers who go to court in support of their kids who are on trial for murder or drugs or whatever.  I may not like what the kid has done, but I'll always love him.

But did I teach him how to live life?  If my son commits cold-blooded murder, am I a successful parent because he loves me and I still love him?  I dunno.

How about the parent with two children who are complete opposites?  One is near perfect - good grades, involved in wholesome activities, helps around the house, tutors younger children, works a part-time job, etc.  The other is a disaster - defiant, runs away from home, skips school, is arrested for shoplifting multiple times, gets pregnant at 15, etc.  Both kids raised in the same house, same parents, there is no drug or alcohol use in the home, no abuse.  This parent loves both children very deeply.  Is this parent successful?

I've confused myself, now.

Roz

How do you measure Successful Parenthood?

Well remember, in the end we have agency... think about it. Who is the best parent of all? Heavenly Father of course, but how many of his children have fallen away? A lot, so does that mean we rate his parenting as bad? No, not at all,  He has given all... even to His own Son. Does He love us? For sure... even if they are bad. This is a successful parent.

How you measure Successful Parenthood

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But did I teach him how to live life?  If my son commits cold-blooded murder, am I a successful parent because he loves me and I still love him?  I dunno. How about the parent with two children who are complete opposites?  One is near perfect - good grades, involved in wholesome activities, helps around the house, tutors younger children, works a part-time job, etc.  The other is a disaster - defiant, runs away from home, skips school, is arrested for shoplifting multiple times, gets pregnant at 15, etc.  Both kids raised in the same house, same parents, there is no drug or alcohol use in the home, no abuse.  This parent loves both children very deeply.  Is this parent successful?

LOL now, I am the confused one lol. This goes back to a question I always had but no clear answer is given. How parents can be so good, loving, caring and teaching  her/his children the best of all and the children can be all the opposite of what they taught them? I cannot understand that. I know there are plenty examples and even in the scriptures but I just cannot figure out why a kid would turn on to be so bad...you may say agency...true but some parents allow their children to do anything and they think they're counseling them for good just by speaking to them and the kids get out of control. I don't know, I have serious doubts that if you are a really good parent your child will become an evil one...in my opinion of course, I'm open to hear opinions about this,. it always intrigue me.

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LDS_Forever said:

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I don't know, I have serious doubts that if you are a really good parent your child will become an evil one...

I don't know either -- sometimes I feel so clueless about things.  But I do know two separate families, both with two teenage girls.  One girl is "good" and the other is "bad."  One family has both father and mother, married almost 20 years.  One family has a single mother with the father not involved at all.  Both families are very active in church, have modest incomes, and live in good neighborhoods, and in completely different cities.

So what happened with the "bad" kids?  They've been raised no differently than the "good" kids.

What about the Prodigal Son in the scriptures?  He took his part of the inheritance and went out and whooped it up.  He was raised of goodly parents.   What happened?  How about Lucifer?  He actually rebelled in the face of God.  What happened?

It's kind of scary to know that, even doing your best, kids can fall away from your good teachings.

JB said:

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Does He love us? For sure... even if they are bad. This is a successful parent.

In the end, I suppose this is the best we *can* do.  Love them, no matter what.

Roz